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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with childminder

63 replies

Periclement43 · 30/12/2020 15:10

Hi all, first time poster - long time lurker, hoping for some advice on what to do about this.

DC has been going to Childminder since I went back to work in July. Other than a few issues recently, things have generally been okay and DC seems happy going there.

Childminder has made an error with emails/invoices and accidentally sent another parents invoice to us. Not only have I seen the parent's address, the daily rate the childminder is charging them is quite a bit less than what we're being charged for DC.

AIBU to be royally pissed off about this?
Childminder is quite expensive as it is and nothing is included, so to see she is charging other parents less has made me really annoyed.

How would you handle this? Would you respond to the email asking why she is charging other parents less, or leave it? I'll add that we're currently on the waiting list for another nursery / childminder which charges the same but everything is included so will hopefully be leaving soon, but I don't think that's the point. Any advice would be hugely appreciatedSmile.

OP posts:
Diddlysquatty · 30/12/2020 15:36

I know it must feel a bit galling.
Sounds like the right decision to try and forget it and not enquire.

I had a slightly lower rate with my childminder because we were friends, even though I tried to refuse! She asked me (obviously) to keep it to myself

She could also have charged less recently if she was particularly in need of the business, or the other person could be getting a lower rate if they are full time/more hours, or maybe it’s a different age group.
Lots of factors.

Neenan · 30/12/2020 15:37

I used to pay different rates to a nursery 26 years ago! the hourly rate didn't go up, until you made a change then it was inflated to the current new starter rate. So, I reduced the hours from 40 to 30 and the rate increased from £4 hour to £5 as that was the current rate. Had I left it at 40 hours until we left the rate would have stayed at £4.

(amounts hypothetical as I have no idea how much I paid 26 years ago, just recall it being most of my salary),

Lindy2 · 30/12/2020 15:38

I'm not childminding right now due to Coronavirus. I felt the risk of close contact with a number of different children from different families (who may or may not be keeping to the rules) was too much for me.

Frankly I admire any childminder who is still working right now and taking on new families. She is accepting your child into her home, baring the risk that involves to her and her family and frankly probably working her socks off keeping things clean and not being able to attend groups or meet up with other minders. I think you should take all that into account before you go in all guns blazing.

In terms of fees, I very rarely put up my hourly rate once a new family had started. Usually they would stay on the same rate for a number of years with perhaps a review at age 3 when funding starts or on starting school.

For any new starter though I'd charge the going rate at that time. That family would then stay on that rate, in the same way as the previous families.

That's the system that has always worked for me and I preferred it to dealing with annual increases. It may well be what she does and she is perfectly within her rights to run her business however she chooses.

I think it's somewhat off that you are already looking to move due to nursery fees being less. Is she aware that she's just a convenient stop gap for you?

Original poster
Periclement43 · 30/12/2020 15:41

@Neenan thank you for your post, definitely helped put it in perspective Smile

OP posts:
Itsnotlikethiswithotherpeople · 30/12/2020 15:42

Childminders normally charge more for fewer hours it’s because to make up a full time place they need to find someone to match up with your hours. That is harder and often the match isn’t exact so there are gaps. Whereas a full time child has no gaps and no hassle trying to fill the other hours. Very normal.

formerbabe · 30/12/2020 15:43

Is she aware that she's just a convenient stop gap for you?

This is quite unfair. All child minders are used as stop gap surely? You don't send your children to them forever!

Original poster
Periclement43 · 30/12/2020 15:44

@Lindy2 I didn't say we're looking to move due to nursery fees being less! We're looking to move for a number of reasons, fees being one of them but not the main factor.

OP posts:
Original poster
Periclement43 · 30/12/2020 15:46

@Itsnotlikethiswithotherpeople thank you for this, helpful post Smile

OP posts:
WhereverIGoddamnLike · 30/12/2020 15:48

There could be many different reasons. She could have given them a discount due their circumstances. My mother was a childminder and she charger a lower rate for the kids she minded on the request of social services. So these kids were classed as "looked after children" because the state was keeping an eye on them despite them being allowed to stay with their parents. My mum would mind them part time, to give the parents respite and to keep an eye on the children's welfare. She charged lower rates for that. She didnt need to, but she did.

She also charged lower rates if someone had 2 children in her care.

The childminder could simply be charging them a lower rate because they are friends, or maybe they've done some work for her (if they're in a trade) or anything really.

2bazookas · 30/12/2020 15:48

Its very likely she charges different rates for different ages of child, As do many nurseries.

Lindy2 · 30/12/2020 15:48

This is quite unfair. All child minders are used as stop gap surely? You don't send your children to them forever!

Not forever no, but she'll have spent a lot of time settling in your child, in challenging circumstances. I expect she believes your child will stay until reaching preschool age or similar - not just until a cheaper place comes up elsewhere. (unless you've been upfront with her and mentioned being on waiting lists). After 6 months your child is probably just becoming settled and confident there just in time to be moved elsewhere.

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 30/12/2020 15:48

And also the full time/part time thing.

BuzzingTheBee · 30/12/2020 15:51

Tbf she can charge what she likes, accidents happen

FunnyInjury · 30/12/2020 15:52

She could be charging them less for any reason at all.
That's her business, not yours Hmm
She fucked up and sent an email to the wrong recipient
Hardly crime of the year.

Move along.

Original poster
Periclement43 · 30/12/2020 15:52

@WhereverIGoddamnLike thank you for thisSmile & that's why I would never go in 'all guns blazing' as there are so many reasons why this could be and why be an arsehole when you don't know the full reasons / circumstances

OP posts:
Nnkk · 30/12/2020 15:52

@Itsnotlikethiswithotherpeople

Childminders normally charge more for fewer hours it’s because to make up a full time place they need to find someone to match up with your hours. That is harder and often the match isn’t exact so there are gaps. Whereas a full time child has no gaps and no hassle trying to fill the other hours. Very normal.
This will be exactly why.
EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 30/12/2020 15:56

You have to contact her to let her know about the data breach anyway no harm in asking. I can see from the responses above that there are a number of plausible reasons for differing fees. A phone chat may be less confrontational than an email.
If you are able to negotiate a lower fee, it may result in less upheaval for your child if you decide not to move nurseries.

MysweetAudrina · 30/12/2020 15:56

None of your business other than the fact she made it your business by breaching GDPR. She is completely with her rights to charge different people different rates. Your contract is the one you have with her and it's is no concern of yours what she has agreed with others.

Looneytune253 · 30/12/2020 16:01

Could be any amount of reasons. There could be sibling discounts, childcare vouchers, local authority funding, contracts signed a few years ago before prices went up

RaffertyBear · 30/12/2020 16:04

It's normal to pay more if your child does less hours - happens in nurseries / day care too.

PerveenMistry · 30/12/2020 16:06

You don't know what her arrangements are with those people. Perhaps she owes them money, or barters for other goods/services, or has a closer relationship.

What they pay has zero to do with the rate you pay.

MumOfPsuedoAdult · 30/12/2020 16:18

Unless she advertises her rates somewhere then every client is a separate negotiation as far as I'm concerned and as you've already acknowledged, none of your business.

I would definitely NOT rock the boat as childminder places can be hard to come by and you never know when you may need her in the future (for inset/adhoc days). Don't burn your bridges.

Alann01 · 30/12/2020 16:31

Could be mates rates

ChikiTIKI · 30/12/2020 16:50

We pay 3.50 an hour but newer children's parents pay 4.00. That's because we have been there longer and since we signed our contact, the childminder has increased their rate.

When she increased the rate though, she emailed all parents to explain why there were two different rates.

PancakesAndSyrup · 30/12/2020 16:52

I know someone who is a childminder and she has said in the past that her rates are means tested. Maybe it's something like that?

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