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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Baby Name Etiquette

65 replies

queenqueenqueen · 30/12/2020 15:00

Is naming a baby after a friends 5 year old ok? Or would you let them know first?

Its a more unusual name i.e definitely not top 50.

OP posts:
Savingtheworldb4bedtime · 30/12/2020 15:10

You'll be told no one owns a name, I think its fine my 6 year old would love a baby with her name (which isn't common) but I'd like to think my friend would mention it at least id have no issue but I'd fine it weird her not saying anything.

sirfredfredgeorge · 30/12/2020 15:13

Naming them after a friends 5 year old is pretty weird! Using the same name as a friends five year old considerably less weird, and I'd mention it to them, but can't see a problem using it.

CrotchBurn · 30/12/2020 15:15

Theres no logical reason for it but I just wouldnt like it

Mintine · 30/12/2020 15:17

I would find it very irritating. There are so many other names to choose from!

princessjasmineofagrabah · 30/12/2020 15:19

I wouldn't like it tbh - it's a bit weird

Oysterbabe · 30/12/2020 15:23

Why are you naming your child after another child? That is pretty odd.

ShirleyPhallus · 30/12/2020 15:24

Are you actually naming your child after another child or just happen to be using the same name as them?

Adelais · 30/12/2020 15:24

If it’s an unusual name then I would mention it to them or it will probably seem weird when they find out once babies born.

Crunchymum · 30/12/2020 15:25

My DD both have names just inside the top 100.

I wouldn't be offended if any of my friends were to use either of their names but it does depend on the situation..... IE do you share a whole friendship group / only have the one friendship group? Will children be around each other a lot? Are your families good friends with each other? To me it depends on how entwined your friendship is.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 30/12/2020 15:25

I'm just relieved you aren't thinking of calling her Etiquette.

queenqueenqueen · 30/12/2020 15:27

OK so a friend has used the same name as my child. Not named after, I shouldn't have used that expression 🙈 but yes find it odd and I know unreasonable but a bit annoyed to be honest. Yes I know I don't own the name etc etc

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 30/12/2020 15:29

YABVU then

Rainb0wDrops · 30/12/2020 15:31

It's totally fine. There's 5 years gap so they won't even be at the same school at the same time let alone the same class.
Definitely let it go!
I'm pregnant and one of my top names is same as my friends 3 year old. If I go with it I'll just announce it. I won't check with her first (it's a name in the top 20 so not particularly uncommon)

amber763 · 30/12/2020 15:33

I honestly don't understand why people get upset about this. Growing up I was one of 4 with my name in my class at primary school. My best friends parents and mine were friends. She was 2 years younger than me and we had the same name. Who cares honestly.

Twickerhun · 30/12/2020 15:36

My best mates 16 year old son has the same name as my 4 year old, I did ask them out of curtesy first before we announced his name . They were all thrilled that we love the name too and we’re happy for us to use it - I knew they would be fine about it. It’s only a name.

Userme93 · 30/12/2020 15:38

I wouldn't get worked up.... My DC has the same name as a child I used to care for at nursery and was friendly with his mum....it's also the name of an elderly family member.
Dh's work colleague then had a baby and named him the same name...as he'd heard DH say it so much he had fallen in love with it. We were kinda proud we'd influenced them lol.

Norwayreally · 30/12/2020 15:40

I think it’s a bit weird personally. I’m friends with my first ever boyfriend from secondary school and his partner. They had their first child last year and named him the same name as my first born. It isn’t an ultra rare name by any means but also isn’t common so I found it really weird. I didn’t say anything of course, just remarked on what good taste they had.

queenqueenqueen · 30/12/2020 15:41

Ahh thanks @userme93 , yes thats why I posted need a mumsnet reality check as I know I'm being silly but it is definitely a more unusual name which is why I'm a little surprised she has done it

OP posts:
Myothercarisalsoshit · 30/12/2020 15:42

Did anyone else think that the OP was planning to call their child 'Etiquette'? Just me?

2bazookas · 30/12/2020 15:45

You don't say "We're naming baby after your daughter". Just "We're calling the baby Inkblot, it's always been one of my favourite names. "

Wiredforsound · 30/12/2020 15:50

If it’s something like Allegra (not that common but quite well known and very pretty) then YABU. If it’s a made up name like Malandra then that would be a bit weird.

Dinosaurcatcher · 30/12/2020 15:53

Surely some (most) people who give their kids an unusual name do so because they don’t want them have a ‘common’ name. In that case I’d imagine the friends would be pissed off if you give your child the same name.

Monkeytapper · 30/12/2020 15:53

She might be flattered you are using the name, just be truthful and say you think it’s a beautiful name and would like to name your daughter it.

Lookslikerainted · 30/12/2020 15:54

You didn’t own or invent the name, you’re being precious but you know haha. Also I love that you said she named her child after yours 😂😂 hilarious.

Clawdy · 30/12/2020 15:55

I'd be quite flattered if a friend picked the same name.

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