Baby Name Etiquette

[queenqueenqueen]

Is naming a baby after a friends 5 year old ok? Or would you let them know first?

Its a more unusual name i.e definitely not top 50.

Generally, people on here don't seem to be overly fond of their friends' DCs. If she still likes the name after its long association with your DC, she must really love it . So I'd cut her some slack.

I mean... there’s a difference between “We’ve always loved the name” and “We’re going to name our child after your child”.

A friend phoned to say they had found out at a scan that their baby was a girl and that my DD’s name had become their favourite girls name and would we mind if they used it to. I thought it was sweet of her to phone, but assured her that she didn’t need to ask, but that DD would be ridiculously proud to have a baby named the same as her (not after her). My DD still refers to her as ‘baby DD’s name’. DD is 17 ‘baby’ is now 9!
Be touched not annoyed.

• also most definitely not a top 50 name, but not a made up name either.

I wouldn't find it weird at all, flattering if anything.

Could you just add a number to the end of the name? That's what I do to get a unique name on Gmail!

A ridiculous post. You can’t trademark a name!! Nothing odd about it and bizarre for you to be worrying about it.

I think it is a bit odd to name a baby AFTER a friend's young child.

In terms of giving a baby the same name as a friend's child, I think it really depends on how close you are as friends and how often your children are likely to meet. If she's your best friend and your children would play together every week (in normal times), it's a bit awkward. If she's just a friend out of many who you might see a couple of times a year, fine in my opinion. However some people would be very funny about it.

@Myothercarisalsoshit

Did anyone else think that the OP was planning to call their child 'Etiquette'? Just me?

Nope - not just you! That was my first reaction too........

Automatic YABU for the reverse!
Most people get their names from somewhere else.
Be flattered that she likes your taste.

If you make a friend after having children then they might have a child of the same name, and it isn't an issue. You just say 'My Tarquin' or 'your Tarquin' if you need to distinguish.

OP - If there is a 5 year gap it's not like the DC will be close friends.

Did they say they were naming the baby in honour of your child, or is it just that they liked the name as well, so are also going to use it?

It wouldn't bother me at all!

I do think it depends a bit on the name. Not top 50 still includes a lot of very common, normal names. I have a friend who named her daughter Felicity and was amazed to meet another one. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I know several baby or toddler Felicitys - she clearly thinks it's incredibly unusual. So, if you called your daughter Felicity, YABU. But if you called her Hortensia, then I agree it's a bit odd.

It would bother me yes if a close friend but I also think the name may not be as unusual as you think.

Totally fine.. unless it's princess consuela bananahammock in which case don't

This thread is a classic example of people posting before they've read the thread, or at least the OP's posts. I get that reverses can be a bit annoying, but still... And OP has explained that she didn't mean to say 'named after'.

OP, I think my reaction would be a mix of quite flattered and mildly irritated. The 5 year age difference makes it not too bad, I think, it's not as if they'll be in the same class at school. If it was only a few months or a year I would be a bit pissed off, while accepting that nobody owns a name.

Not quite the same situation, but my SIL gave her son the middle name of one of my boys as his first name. She hadn't known it was DS's middle name and was really annoyed when she found out. My DS is a few years older than hers, and if that sort of thing was a concern she should have checked what the middle names of other family members were. It certainly wasn't my fault

3 of us in our friendship group have the same name for our daughters.

Doesn’t bother us in the slightest. We’re pretty normal.

It is inconvenient though. My friend has got engaged to someone with the same name as my son, she never asked was it ok when they got together and now we're having to say sweetmother man and sweetmother baby all the time to differenciate.

It seems a bit odd to me. I would be more concerned if it is an unusual name and your child would be forever having to tell people how to spell it or coping with mispronunciations. If that was the case.

YABU for the reverse 🙄 but also YABU in general

I don’t volunteer my DCs names because I like they aren’t common where we are, but I’d not be precious about it if someone else I knew used the names. You would have thought your friend would have mentioned it first though x

It means you've both got good taste in names

My daughter's daughter was born around the time we moved here, she shares her name with the neighbour's dog! C'est la vie, it makes for interesting times in Summer when either she or the dog is being called.

What’s the name?

If it’s very unusual they probably chose it because it’s so unusual and would be upset at you using it! If there are a few others in her school with the name then I’d go for it but talk to friend first.

A lot depends on how well you know her and if you’re likely to remain friends long term.