Turn down a job that pays 30% more?

[givemegin2021]

I am a mum of two young DCs, 2.5yo and 6m. Was approached recently by a competitor company for a job that would pay 30% more but hours will be more demanding.

Currently at a job that pays enough that allows us to live comfortably, flexible hours and I like my colleagues. My manager is putting me up for promotion which will have around 15% pay rise if I get it (chance is 50/50 if I get promotion).

My head says take the new job while my heart wants to stay in the comfort zone. What would you do?

New job. Don’t let fear stop you taking the leap given you will be able to do it and get better paid for it.

How much will the 30% be worth in real terms after tax?
Will you need to pay for more childcare?
To be honest in your shoes I think I would opt for the easier life and the extra time with my DC but that’s me.

With kids that age I wouldn’t take a more demanding job. An understanding employer when you have small children is priceless. It gets more complicated when they reach school,age!

I would not take the new job. When my kids were young I am
Glad I stayed in the job market, but having some flexibility was worth it.

No, I wouldn't take on more demanding hours for anything, when children are so young.

There’s more to consider here than just the pay, flexibility in hours is a huge plus and not one to be sniffed at, especially if you’re comfortably off and have the opportunity for promotion. I wouldn’t jump at this stage, and I’d tell the competitor that the lack of flexible hours is a big reason why.

Do you have career aspirations? Then take the new job.

Presumably you have a husband or partner? In which case, managing the children is as much his responsibility as yours. Bollocks to ‘easy life’ and ‘not when the children are small’. A man wouldn’t be given that advice.

@PeakyPaula

With kids that age I wouldn’t take a more demanding job. An understanding employer when you have small children is priceless. It gets more complicated when they reach school,age!

Thanks for sharing. Do you mean children of school age are more demanding of your time? Genuine question, as I really don't know yet.

@Iamthewombat

Do you have career aspirations? Then take the new job.

Presumably you have a husband or partner? In which case, managing the children is as much his responsibility as yours. Bollocks to ‘easy life’ and ‘not when the children are small’. A man wouldn’t be given that advice.

I do have career aspirations, which is the reason I am having this dilemma. The new job is what I would consider an ideal job if I don't have the family commitment. It is challenging, business trips that will allow me to travel to different places (when COVID is over) and it allows me to make a difference.

In my current job which I have been with for 6 years, things become mundane but it is stable, easy to do (because I have done it for so long) and flexible hours. Also opportunity to travel but probably not as much.

I'd take the more aspirational job. If they're being demanding, then you can be, too. Tell them that you insist on having flexible working hours.

Regarding your comfort zone, you'd soon be comfortable in your new role, and there will be colleagues you like.

It would depend on on the £ value of the increase rather than %. As you can live comfortably on your salary already I would probably do it for 15-20k more but not less.

Ask yourself what a man would do.

Then take the job.

Do you have a partner?

@Grobagsforever

Ask yourself what a man would do.

Then take the job.

Do you have a partner?

I do have a DH and can trust him to take care of DCs. Although we do have different parenting styles, his quality time with kids involve an iPad and him watching football on TV. I would rather do art with them or take them to the park.

Take the job

I would speak to your manager about receiving the job offer and the pay rise. Chances are your current firm will offer you more money.

This always happened at a company I used to work for.

If they approached you I'd say that you're in a strong position to ask for flexibility. I would approach them to see what could be done. But I'd only ask for something that I would accept if offered.

I wouldn't ask for flex, get it, and then turn them down. That would burn bridges.

Bollocks to ‘easy life’ and ‘not when the children are small’. A man wouldn’t be given that advice

Actually he would, from many of us. My DH is recently back from a year of parental leave so that I could take a promotion that I wanted.

Do you mean children of school age are more demanding of your time? Genuine question, as I really don't know yet.

It gets more complicated, and you often have to mix and match childcare (for holidays, drop offs, pick ups, afterschool club, inset days), plus time for for you to go to plays, sports days, special assemblies (yes really!), parents evenings (which these days seem to be parents afternoons) etc.

@ItsReallyOnlyMe

I would speak to your manager about receiving the job offer and the pay rise. Chances are your current firm will offer you more money.

This always happened at a company I used to work for.

Yes I know my current firm will, but am always wary of counter offers. The moment I tell them, the loyalty is gone and it will not be the same.

Things to think about for school age children (presume you use nursery or childminder now+)

• school day shorter so one of you will need to do the school run 8.30-9 and 3-3.30 daily, or use wraparound care (before and after school club / childminder).
• if you are away travelling dh will need to do all the pick ups
• school holidays, most people split the weeks using both sets of annual leave and some holiday clubs, again days are short so you need one of you on hand to drop off and pick up
• parent being at the school gate is helpful but not essential for arranging playdates etc
• there will be lots of times you will be invited into school events.

It sounds like you are going places in either job. Do what works for your family and what you want.

Bollocks to ‘easy life’ and ‘not when the children are small’. A man wouldn’t be given that advice

Actually he would, from many of us. My DH is recently back from a year of parental leave so that I could take a promotion that I wanted.

Then why shouldn’t the OP be facilitated to take this opportunity by her husband?

Your response is irrelevant to the OP’s situation: it is she who has been offered a new role, not her husband. Are you suggesting that by accepting the new, more highly paid role, the OP will somehow prevent her husband’s career from progressing and hence shouldn’t accept?

I think the key thing to assess at the moment is job security - and stuff like work life balance, flexibility of the new role.
If you don't go for it, keep the doors open should you want to approach them in future - would be perfectly understandable to say something like you think they're a great company, but given that you've only recently gone back to work, timing isn't great.
If your youngest is only 6m, read current contract/company policies to check for any payback clauses on contractual maternity pay that may apply.

listentotaxman.com/
is a good site to look at the net benefit of increased salary - plus take into consideration the non payroll things like additional childcare, change in commuting costs, etc

Your children are very young how do you cope now?

Would you need more childcare? Because your children are so young no I wouldn’t. I would want to enjoy my babies (great ages).

30% pay rise won't mean 30% more in your pocket, I suggest waiting until your kids are in more of a routine and then switching.

Don't be afraid of change, it is how we grow. Keep in mind the only way to really boost your salary is to move to different companies. If the new position will increase your responsibilities and your skill sets (not just salary), you should take it. Asking at this stage for some flexibility is good advice to follow. You have nothing to lose as you are currently employed. In fact with some time spent in a new position you will be more attractive even to your current firm.