Earthquake - asking for a hand hold

[kavalkada]

That's it, actually. I don't live in UK, but in Croatia, but I love UK and Mumsnet and all wonderful people that are here. We've been hit with terrible earthquake nine months ago, and just when I thought things are going back to normal, we were hit again, this time more devastating then before. And on my wedding anniversary. My family is fine, our home is fine, but I'm a nervous wreck last three days. I cry all the time, shake at the smallest sound, can't sleep... This morning I woke up two minutes before three new earthquakes.

So I need a hand hold, nice kind words, happy thoughts, your prayers and good wishes. Lovely things that have happened to you in the last few days. Jokes. Everything that is sweet and lovely because at the moment I can't be a good mother to my children. I go to my room to cry so they do not see me, and they are all right. My husband is here and he has been amazing but I can't stop shaking thinking on another that will come.

If there is somebody who lived through earthquake and can help with advice how to deal with it, I'll be grateful.

I'm not sure I'll be able to answer you, but be sure I'll read everything.

Thank you.

Croatia is a beautiful country. I hope you recover quickly from this awful happening.

I lived a better part of a decade in one of the most earthquake-prone areas in the world and, unfortunately, can't say I ever got used to the buggers. Hated the noise the most, like the grinding of massive concrete blocks mixed with steely bits.
Used to go to sleep every bloody night thinking - is the Big One coming tonight .
Not what you need to hear, sorry....
I remember a dinner party once where I was seated next to a seismologist and I spent, most rudely, as totally ignored the person sitting on my other side , the whole evening questioning him about what to do and how to survive a large earthquake. The poor bloke looked quite frightened at times I must have come across as a pretty intense nutter .
He said that the only method he's seen that might have helped survival was the controversial Triangle of Life theory as physics is physics and highly dense materials (such as books) cannot be compressed past a certain point thus creating pockets of void next to them. He did stress that it's just a theory and many times 'debunked' but if shit hit the fan and he couldn't get out, he'd curl up next to the biggest bookcase and hope for the best.
I can still remember where the bookcases were in all my friends' houses... .

I live in Christchurch, NZ and we are just approaching the 10th anniversary of an incredibly devastating earthquake that decimated our city. I'm sending you lots of love, because I know exactly how unsettling and traumatic it is. I promise you that it will settle down. Probably not as soon as you would like, but the earthquake sequence will decline.
There are lots of really clever and well educated seismologists who will be examining the sequence that you're living through and will be doing their best to forecast (not predict, no one can do that yet) what the next likely aftershocks will be like.
You will get through this.
Google the All Right NZ mental health campaign- this was set up to help us post-quake and there's lots of really good, easily implementable advice about how to look after you and your friends and family.
It's completely normal to be scared and uncertain- you're not alone and whilst the end might not feel in sight, I promise you it will come. You and your city will recover.
Christchurch will never be the same, but we are stronger than before and we have an amazing supportive community that was borne of our trauma. Kia kaha (stay strong) xx

Best wishes and prayers for you, yours and the area.

DD went to the region of Pula for her art exam - she loved the area, the food and the people.

Praying for you.

You poor thing, how utterly terrifying. I’ve experienced an earthquake - we were in Aceh, Indonesia, a couple of years after the tsunami, since a dd was working there.

It was ‘only’ a 6.1 but to wake in the night - on the 5th floor of a hotel - and find the bed shaking as if a giant was shaking it, was probably the scariest thing I’ve ever lived through.
Sending 💐 and all best wishes to you and your family and 🙏 that you all stay safe. X

oh wow how scary
Glad to hear you and your family are ok and hope you all remain that way
have to be honest I cant see it in the news

Is this a normall thing to happen in Crotia?

I’m so sorry - it must be very unsettling and upsetting for you. I went to Zagreb and Istria last summer and really loved it. It’s such a friendly and welcoming place and Croatia has such a place in my heart now.

I grew up in a country with constant earthquake. I just heard they were hit by quite big one again recently, but not big enough to make world news. My parents were affected. I'm worried, but not to the degree that makes me break down and cry. We are so used to it. Only thing we can do is to make preparations, and hope small one happens more often so they relieve the pressure and the devastating one won't happen.

Thank you. Thank you all for your kind words and sharing your experiences. It helps, it helps so much.

I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a crap time.

Croatia is very dear to me as it's the only foreign place I've ever been to. I had the opportunity to visit a few years ago and it just felt 'right'. I'm not a traveller (obviously) but Croatia is just magical.

Do you have a favourite poem/prayer/song you can repeat in your head? That helps focus my mind sometimes.

Thinking of you, it must be awful

Here's a hug. Croatia is lovely and I hope it (and you!) recover quickly from this earthquake.

Whilst I can't offer quake advice, I do live with anxiety, so these methods may help you.

1. Give yourself permission to pause. Even if I don't feel like it, I go and tickle my kids, have a wrestling session or jump around to a song. The physical side releases endorphins and suppresses cortisol, so it's a "time-out" for your body. I end up feeling a lot happier than when I began (so are the kids!)

2. Find some music or download a meditation. Again, this is just to give you a mental break from thinking about the aftershocks.

3. Reach out to others. It feels much less overwhelming when you are sharing it with your community; I wish I had done so years ago. The NZ resources mentioned above sound brilliant for this situation.

Good luck!

Oh OP that must have been awful. Big hand hold and hugs and to you.

Your country looks absolutely beautiful, we are supposed to be visiting on a cruise this summer for our silver wedding, really hoping it still goes ahead.

Your English is amazing by the way! Here’s a joke for you: the UK! You are lucky to live in a country that is forward-looking unlike this one! But your country has gone through so much, I hope it will recover well from this and you will all have a good future to look forward to.

I'm not surprised you feel like that, earthquakes are frightening to be in, I know the scared me after we had a larger one which took years to be rebuild the city. I hope you feel better soon.

Sorry to hear about it. I can remember the aftershocks. I experienced a few when I was in my teens. I was ok but my mum was a nervous wreak.
Like others have said use some Mindfulness -YouTube
Music- some upbeat, happy tunes that remind you of good times.
Read a book to help you fill your mind with something else. Perhaps read a book with chapters to your 6year old. A chapter a night it will help you both.

Be kind to yourself. It is great that you have a supportive husband.

I live in NZ in the most earthquake prone city. In saying that earthquakes still scare the living daylights out of me. Stay strong, and remember small earthquakes are good as they relive pressure XX

Yes I was upstairs asleep with my DH and newborn when a 5.2 earthquake hit.
The whole house was shaking violently and the walls actually flexed (timber second storey). There was no time to get out or anything. Pictures popped off the walls, things fell off the dresser. Window glass was popping.
It was terrifying.

I am so sorry for you and your beautiful country. I love Croatia - we go every year and often talk about moving there one day. Holding your hand and giving you hugs at this awful time.

Oh my dear

Hugs to you

I read about it yesterday

I wish I could say something helpful....but if you want to offload, we're here for you. It must be such a trauma, of course you keep crying

Massive super proper hugs to you.

Thinking of you and my fellow people from Croatia, kavalkada. Yes, Zagreb was not immediately next to the epicenter, but the clips are terrifying. My dad still has nightmares about the one from March, and now this! There will be many traumatized people, even if their homes are safe and they are uninjured. How are your kids doing?

With phone lines off for variable amounts of time yesterday, there was a lot of panic due to not being able to reach relatives, especially older and more isolated people.

I'm from California, OP. I grew up with earthquakes and never got comfy cozy with them, but I was surrounded by geologists and engineers in my family who gave me a thorough understanding of the earth shifting between my feet. I found that the more I actually learned about earthquakes and the faultlines specific to my zone, the less I feared them. Still though, to this day- here in England- I look at my son's huge wardrobe and get the heebie jeebies. I'm uncomfortable around tall furniture and chandaliers and still see doorways as my friend. I am terrified of the mirror falling off our living room wall and smashing onto us. It really is PTSD from all of the earthquakes I grew up with.
My mom was part of a small, local group of parents who started a programme for Southern Californian school children. We had to bring in a shoebox to class every September which included boxed drinks, a foil blanket, granola bars and other non-perishable, easily stored food, plus a small first aid kit and a list of emergency contacts- all in the box. The foil blanket was the main thing. The idea was that we would grab our shoeboxes and go to our evacuation zone. If we were unable to get home (school was quite a distance and we were on the beach) because of power outages, damage to roads, risk of tsunami, we had an elevated field to go to, which became our evacuation centre, plus our boxes with our food and foil blankets to keep us warm. My mom and her group were instrumental in planning my school's evacuation route, highlighting the risk of tsunami and power plant accidents in the vicinity. This was back in the late 70s and early 80s. She was a woman ahead of her time.
She took her fears and turned them into something proactive. It is hard to do that- hard to turn away from your fear. But perhaps you can use this as a chance to really stand up for the community's safety and improve what you can, where you can.
I sound very matter-of-fact, but believe me, it is terrifying. I've seen freeways collapse, roads split open. As a kid growing up in earthquake country, you lie in bed at night planning all of your 'earthquake escape routes'. You plan for every worst-case scenario. But it sure makes you a good survivalist.

There will be aftershocks which should lessen. Try to think of the positives - you and your family are fine and your house is still standing. I understand the fear - I've been in many earthquakes and some were fairly bad. (I am a New Zealander.) We had a quake during work hours on the 10th floor of a building designed to rock in an earthquake - my boss was a gentleman, he let me clamber under the table first.

I've experienced several and they just become part of 'your story', experiences that others havent had. I can still remember my first in Istanbul and not knowing what to do etc, my slightly worrying one when I lived on the 34th floor of a 45 story building in the UAE (my thoughts at the time...that feels like an earthquake....but they dont have them here.....ha!) and my weirdest one in Uzbekistan which apparently was vertical as opposed to the usual horizontal (or something).
They are scary especially if there are memories of bigger ones but things that might .. help... keep an emergency bag nearby....passport, money, water, medication, torch and turn it into a guessing game... ok I felt it, was magnitude doI think it was... then check on the earthquake today websites. I can usually work out those in the 3.5-6 range...luckily havent had one much worse.