To ask what you’d do in this situation?

[tealtraveller]

A bit of backstory: NZ is one of mine and DH’s favourite places, but when DC were tiny the thought of going there permanently was unrealistic (we have no family there). DC1 (16) is adamant that she’s going to live there when she’s older and has been for about 6 years.

A job has come up that would be perfect for me (my job is classed as skilled so that’d be the way to a visa). I’m considering applying for it, DH thinks I should too. Haven’t told DC but DC1 would definitely want me to (DC2 I’m not so sure - she’s 13 for context). I know there’s a chance I won’t get the job, but if I got it I’d find it hard to turn down. This isn’t an opportunity that comes up often so it’s kind of now or never.

Pros

• live in one of my favourite places
• better work/life balance
• DC1 really wants it
• they’ve dealt with covid well

Cons

• won’t know anyone/no family
• DC1 would be moving to a new school system straight after GCSEs
• not sure how DC2 would react but probably negatively

So what would you do in this situation?
YABU - don’t do it
YANBU - go for it

I am interested in the poverty comments. I know there is an issue of poverty in NZ but growing up there I never saw it. Perhaps once I saw people living in what I would call a shack north of the country. Is this because I wasn't exposed to it? What is it that people have seen that makes it something worth mentioning? This is a genuine question.

Life is not always about getting what you want, and if the parents think it's right for the family, including that child, I think it's OK. Thirteen-year-olds don't get to make family decisions! Put it to the vote

Well sure, if your child says no but you actually think they'll be fine (and that's assuming you know your kid well enough and actually care about their wellbeing above your own desires, which isn't always a given!) then yeah, that makes sense. Obviously by the same token, if they really strongly didn't want to go and you knew inside that it would be a big struggle for them, then you'd be a dick to go just because you want to. So like I said, it's about OP talking to her child and knowing her child.

There's always a chance that a teenager will say "no way" but then actually thrive in the new country, but at the same time, it's more of a hardship for a teenager to be moved across the world against their will than it is for an adult to just not move across the world. Again, comes down to how well OP knows her child, but if it was me and there was any doubt, I'd just maintain the status quo until the child is a bit older. It's only a few years anyway.

Covid has made me realise that I can manage with only seeing family a few times a year, and we’d probably aim to come home once a year, at least for the first few years.

I was a bit confused by this. You won't see them a few times a year, you'd see them once at most. Are you saying you're OK with once a year or that it would need to be a few times a year to feel OK?

a place ~30 minutes from Auckland

That probably is Auckland. What sort of work? Agriculture?

Pp mentioning moving could split your family, what about if they don't move and DC meets an Aussie/Kiwi/Canadian and moves themself?

I met dh when he was on a whv in Aus. He was adamant he didn't want to stay in Aus, he wanted to move back to Ireland.

We have now lived in Aus for 3 years, NZ for 6 months, London for 10 years and now back in Aus for 2 years.

I know at some point we'll head back over again, probably when our DC are grown.

I am loving being back in Aus but I would caution OP that I'm enjoying it mainly because of family, we did 10 years in London with just us (IL did visit) and I can see now just how lonely it was.

@Rosebuddydo

I am interested in the poverty comments. I know there is an issue of poverty in NZ but growing up there I never saw it. Perhaps once I saw people living in what I would call a shack north of the country. Is this because I wasn't exposed to it? What is it that people have seen that makes it something worth mentioning? This is a genuine question.

All the time you lived there did your Sat Nav not take you into a area that resembled the third word? Trust me, they exist and we have stumbled into a few on our travels.

A quick google will show you that 1 in 7 households live in poverty in NZ. That's roughly 15% of the population!

Factor in the cost of healthcare and the extortionate price of food and you get a clue why this percentage has been increasing year on year.

"Catch a bus or two from Britomart in central Auckland, and after an hour and a half and you will arrive in the urban slum of South Auckland.

Here, houses are wooden, damp and mouldy and often hold in excess of 10 people. Young children walk the streets in mid-winter with no shoes and gummy eyes. Looming over polluted streams and rubbish-strewn parks is the vast Double Brown Beer Brewery."

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2016/aug/16/new-zealands-most-shameful-secret-we-have-normalised-child-poverty