To ask if anyone else is as suggestible as I am?

[Tweaker]

I haven't met anyone else who is so suggestible and therefore very changeable. I am driving myself MAD with it as I lurch from one extreme to another. Big things and small. I've been thinking about this for a while and these are just some examples from the last few days:

• I've been wrestling with whether or not I want another baby. I see something about people travelling and maybe a thread about how hard parenting is. I think "they're good points/factors, I am better off not having another child." Then I hear about a friend being pregnant or a bloody happy advert, "I must have another baby! It's essential! What was I THINKING doubting it?" Until something happens and my position changes again.
• met a woman whose family live in Australia. Think, "I should move there, life's for living! Taking chances!" Then I have a zoom chat with my brothers or see a tv show about the Lake District and realise I could never move, what was I thinking!
• that's the perfect wallpaper/picture/style I'll get that! See something else...urgh! How could I ever have liked that!

And so on...Exhausting. For context, I am a reasonably intelligent, professional 40-something woman. Please tell me I'm not alone or at least how to tune in to what I really want/think...

@AaronCardigan I'm naturally v anxious too actually. People's replies are making me think this is part of being anxious perhaps? A very active mind that never stops. I'm usually really tired too which fits now I think about it. This is giving me a lot of food for thought.

@Tweaker if you feel like it's affecting your day to day life, mention it to a GP. It can be controlled, I found CBT really helpful.

You sound a lot like me! Especially the post about having so much to decide between you end up not making a decision at all...I need to buy new jeans, I've been trying to decide where to get them from for over a week now and I know it really does not require so much thought!

Also agree that sometimes it feels a bit like not knowing who you are. I'm quite a stressy anxious person as well...hadn't really considered this could be tied to that. Interesting thread, thanks OP.

I am exactly like this! Sometimes I have to plead with other people to make a decision for me, I still doubt it when they have.

I suffer with anxiety too. I started googling ADHD the other day because I am this way.

To add, I’m a an intelligent woman with a career on top of family. I just feel like my mind is constantly switching from one thing to the next.

The baby dilemma, I am having this at the moment.

Please don't anyone take offence to this, but have any of you considered female-pattern ADHD?

I started a thread a few weeks back about my head voice and lots of people chimed in to say they had the same, and many had ADHD which I’ve also suspected for myself for a number of years. I’m very much the same as you OP. Do you have a constant head voice?

I find it helps if you feel a bit jealous when somebody you know achieves something: this is how you'll know you really want something similar. For example, someone could become a movie star and I would be happy for them and not feel jealous at all but if someone turned around their life and created a successful company, I would be happy for them, inspired by them but also probably a bit jealous.

Doesn't everyone have a head voice? Serious question! Mine is a constant running commentary. I've looked at adhd but some parts don't fit like how I am never, ever late, v organised and so on. I think it might be anxiety at another 'level', so I may feel ok but I'm on high alert. Like a PP said, I also do everything quickly. Drink, eat, run, housework etc. Thank you everyone, I feel a lot less alone.

@juliastone interesting idea about jealousy. Thing is, I'd envy someone, then be swayed in to the opposite position by a different perspective!!

Ok this is weird. This thread came up on threads I’m on with a post from Juliastone at 21.08. I clicked on the thread and the post isn’t here! Is it just me that can’t see the post?

Ah never mind. The post is there now! No idea why it wasn’t showing originally!

Doesn't everyone have a head voice? Serious question!

Well I thought so too but apparently not! Some people have no voice in their head. They have lovely sweet silence. The gits!

@SmallSteps88 utter gits!! Imagine!

thread here if you’re interested OP

This is me too!
I feel constantly in a state of indecision about everything. I worry about making the "wrong" choice like I'm on some sort of gameshow permanently.

I have wondered in the past if I have ADD, but the checklist doesn't really fit.
I have suffered depression most of my adult life and had a breakdown on my early 20's.
My body movements and reactions are very slow, but my inner monologue doesn't stop yabbering away .

I struggle to make even the basic decisions sometimes and its exhausting.

I am exactly like this OP, always have been. I'm late 30s, intelligent, successful career in demanding job, have kids, and yet I still feel like I have no solid sense of self because I can't seem to make my mind up about anything and am able to see all the positives and all the negatives of every little thing - all of which renders me paralysed half the time!
I am also prone to low mood and anxiety and have been wondering for a while if I have female pattern ADHD.

On the plus side, I am creative, can be intensely focused, and can be very adaptable/flexible. I'm also drawn to very solid types who know their own mind - DH is exactly like this and while we clash sometimes because our minds are so different, I am so glad I have a solid presence in my life or I think I would go mad! Oh, and he also doesn't really have a "voice " in his head, which to me is inconceivable!

I think it's just our wiring OP. Try and embrace it, all the good that comes with it, like your ability to think put of the box and see things from a million different perspectives. It is exhausting though, I'm constantly worn out by my brain!

I also could've written the OP and I had several jobs in 5 years as I was unable to decide what I wanted to do. I want to do a degree but the subject I want to do changes almost daily!

I find talking things through with DH, parking the idea and coming back to it days/weeks later is a good way to stop me being rash.

I keep to a routine and if I try something new (growing veg was this years new hobby) I have to massively resist the urge to spends £££££ on all the kit as I may well lose interest months if not weeks later

My people, my people!!

My head voice is non stop!

My latest thing is my head voice justifying everything I do to an old colleague who I don’t see anymore! She was a right old judgy pants and I feel like I have to explain why I’m doing things the way I am.

Why do I even give a fuck? Actually I don’t, but my fucking head voice does!

Another thing, we’ve lived in our house for over 2 years but have hardly anything on the walls because I can’t decide what I want to put up.

@SingleHandSue I still find myself justifying myself to my ex who left 10 years ago!!

You've just described me, OP. I wish I could have the courage of my convictions.

I have OCD - actual, diagnosed by a psychiatrist OCD and some of the things you are saying about intrusive thoughts, constant internal chatter and anxiety all remind me of the OCD experience. Mine is thankfully in permanent remission due to having CBT therapy and taking SSRIs.

Interestingly, my older brother was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid and that was when over diagnosis was not a thing. OCD and ADHD often run in the same families genetically.

This is weird, me too. I do suffer with anxiety & depression so my back/forth swinging of what I want or don't want is a mare.

I also like people to make decisions for me e.g. I need a new car but can’t decide so just putting it off. When I say need - I really do need as we are having DC3 (which I was adamant I didn’t want until I had a uturn & now decided I even want a DC4).

It’s exhausting & I wish I knew myself better. I’m pretty ‘easy going’ so happy to go with what others want, even if it’s a takeaway or meal out etc as I have no strong opinions usually!

I also have the constant inner dialogue. Have any of you tried meditation? I tried the head space app and all it did was fill me with rage because I couldn't do it! I have a very active imagination (Always dream, and always very vivid dreams too. Feel like I can't get a break from my own head sometimes.) but I just can't 'see' my thoughts. (As instucted in the app.)
I also tried the Calm.com app, got on better with that one but mainly because most of them are guided meditations.

Kinda glad you started this as I can totally relate. I have some diagnosed conditions from childhood/teens: anxiety, depression, OCD and trichotillomania (hair pulling). Out of interest, does anyone else have these? I'm also hyper vigilant and constantly notice facial expressions and reactions and feel like I can tell what people are thinking. A mega people pleaser with very low self esteem. Anyone else?

Google Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder. I relate to it quite a bit. Not got a diagnosis so may not have it but it can stem from your feelings not being validated when younger, and trauma.

I've jumped into a job, done 2 days of it and now I want to quit as I don't like it. I'm torn up with anxiety about it but the money would be really useful. I wish I'd never applied. Last year I jacked in a degree course after a month. Like many others, I can see all the paths out there but actually going down one feels like I'm closing the doors on the others. And it inevitably never ends up as thought it would.

I'm idealistic and nothing will ever meet my ideals because they aren't practical.

Sorry didn't mean to hijack. It's just good to feel I'm not alone.