AIBU To be annoyed at the way M&S staff treat their customers.

[Bridewel1]

I regularly shop in my local M&S and there have been a number of instances where the staff have been rude when speaking to me through no fault of mine. A number of years ago whilst queuing for clothes even if there was no queue you had to wait for a member of staff to check your items (this now no longer applies). I waited no queue no member of staff to check items and empty cubicles. I got fed up waiting for member of staff so went in an available cubicle only to be confronted by a member of staff whilst half undressed a few mins later saying in a rude tone and stern expression ‘Thought there was nobody in’.
Whilst I was nosying at some food a member of staff was reducing on a trolley they piped up in a stern rude tone ‘you cannot take anything until it’s on the shelf’. 2 occasions this happened.
And during this COVID situation which I know is frustrating they told me off and shouted at me for not keeping my distance just before I’d had chance to stop within 2 metres! And recently when they’d just implemented a one way in the store and one way out. I didn’t realise this was in place and when I was heading towards the entrance to leave I was literally rudely shouted at me across the floor from quite a distance ‘you can’t go out that way’!
And the other day I’d finally decided to buy some boots I’d had my eye on and they’d none left in store. Yet next to the shoes I noticed some green stacked baskets with the boots in that I’d had my eye on that looked like they were waiting to be put out. So I asked a member of staff near by who wasn’t dealing with the shoes who said it should be ok to look in basket, so I did. Then a member of staff who was obviously dealing with the shoes noticed and came over and bit my head off saying ‘they’re not in the sale, they’re just waiting to be put out’ I explained why I was looking and she just wheeled the trolley away. So I asked a member of staff on the counter if the nearest store that i saw online that had the boots in my size would if they’d deliver as that store is a bit for for me to get to and she in a rude tone said ‘no it’s not possible, but we may get some returns in here’. I work in retail myself and I understand that stores have there own policies but that doesn’t give staff the right to be rude to customers! I’ve always been told to be chatty and pleasant when dealing with customers. As much as I love M&S I feel as though I shouldn’t be shopping there anymore! Do you feel I’ve been treated badly.

M&S staff are a bunch of rude old bags. I’ve given up shopping there because of their lack of decent customer service. The minute you ask them something they are pissed off, fuck that I’ll keep to Asda thanks

WTF?! 🤣🤪

OP your attitude comes through in your posts. If you are rude in your dealings with people it makes it less likely people will be polite back. Not that is sounds like the staff were actually rude to you. The rules apply to you. Imagine having to spend all day telling people they are breaking them. It's clear it's not a job that would suit you.

Both my M&s have closed in the last couple of years, so think yourself lucky you have a store to go into.
I feel sorry for staff. With everything going on, your gripes sound petty, trivial and rude.

I’d say that quite a few retail staff are in high alert for arsehole customers at the moment.

I was in Next yesterday and was walking down some stairs.
The entrance to the store was at the bottom of the stairs and a woman came running over and shouted ‘Entrance only! You need to leave that way!’
I wasn’t leaving the store and there was an awkward moment but I get it!
They must feel like they are herding cats most of the time.

I think generally staff treat us as we treat them. Obviously people sometimes have a bad day, but usually staff are trying their best to appease difficult customers.
You sound a bit entitled and rude, to be honest.

I agree cherry

I don't agree the service is going "downhill in this country". I think this country was spoiled with customer facing stuff being quiet when bullied and OVERLY polite so no one complaints.

Times are changing. You can't keep abusing the camel for ever. It will bite back once. And that's happening.

I get great service in 99% of situations. I am polite, I am aware of my surroundings, I follow simple rules and I usually ask them how they are when on a till. Simple "You allright? Bit busy/quiet today, innit" seems to break the ice perfectly. When I receive a moody service, I am still polite, but not friendly. Simple. As I said earlier. People often mirror behaviour.

Just yesterday we had article about police looking for two women for punching a manageress after they were asked to leave.

@CatAndHisKit

Well I wasn’t trying to grab items as they were being reduced I was merely stood near by glancing over just to see if I’d want anything and wait till they’d finished.

AKA, hovering

I can't see how hovering at a reasonable distance is such a crime?? I can see that a staff member wouldn't want a group hovering around her but if it's one or two people standing nearby at a covid saf distance - does it really warrant a brusque tone that Op was a subject to? In non-covid times it could get a bit too much with people actually stand right next to the staff member, but guess what - most either shrug it ooff or cheerfully ask to be patient.
In covid times no one is acyually crowding, so OP probably would be fine with that person smiling and saying sshe'll be a few minutes yet - or even (God forbid) asking if she's interested in anything in particular. As I say, from experience ,ost staff deal with this in a friendly yet professional manner.

If OP was trying to reach for something or been all huffy and impatient - that's entirely different matter!

You can't see why someone just standing there watching your every move would be annoying?

As above.

Just as women are not a heard neither are M&S staff, to lump eveybody together is unreasoable.

Shop staff, like others, are in a particularly difficult time at the moment and don’t know, from one day to the next, what they are going to take home to their loved ones.

I’m comparatively fortunate, I can work from home, they can’t and deserve our respect.

I’ve worked retail and in some small food outlets and the staff were chatty with customers and there was one particular bloke who when he reduced items if anyone came over he’d have banter with customers and saying things like ‘these are going to be reduced further if you’re interested’ trying to generate a sale and get rid of food wastage. It created a pleasant atmosphere and I could tell customers enjoyed shopping there and enjoyed chatting with staff.

@Bridewel1, from what you've said it sounds as though they were rather short of patience before they interacted with you and consequently their tone was abrupt.

The changing room incident (pre-covid) I think they should've just let go. It was no big deal really and they can't expect customers to go hunting for staff and waiting around for permission to try clothes on. I may have either done the same as you or walked out.

You weren't doing anything wrong by just waiting by the reduced trolley and seeing what was being put out. You weren't touching anything or in her space. I suspect she'd had customers taking things off the trolley and was expecting you to do it too, but that's not your fault so didn't warrant a "telling off" tone.

The one way system...tricky. If the staff was a distance away then a shout was required and that can sound rude. Your fault but, again, it's tone.

The shoes incident was not your fault. One member of staff gave you permission then you're "told off" by another. That's unfair.

So often it's not so much the message as the way it's delivered, the tone, which is the difference between fine and rude. I appreciate retail staff have to put up with badly behaved customers but they do need to try and be mindful of how they come across.

Rather than breathing down staffs necks, try waiting till stuffs on the shelves!

To all those people who disagree, I understand they have their own rules like other stores that seem to vary between them. Yet I wasn’t doing anything unintentionally on purpose and I did politely ask to look in

To all those people who disagree, I understand they have their own rules like other stores that seem to vary between them. Yet I wasn’t doing anything intentionally on purpose and I did politely ask to look in the crate of shoes that looked like it was waiting to be put out. Yet if I’m breaking their rules there’s no need for them to respond by biting my head of and treating me like a little kid that doesn’t know any better.

OP, it really is this simple: the common denominator in all those interactions was YOU. It's not at all likely that you were perfectly pleasant and acting correctly every time and all of the people you met were rude to you for no reason at all, is it?
No, it's more likely that you were the rude one and they have cause to complain about you.

A large proportion of customer interaction is placating the very small proportion of demanding/needy customers so they don’t lose their tempers and create an unpleasant environment for all the other customers.

Honestly, all this biting heads off, ba4king, shouting. I think it's a lot of how it's percieved rather than how the staff actually talks.

Everyone seems more aggressive these days. I went to the hospital for an antenatal appointment and in the clinic, there was one woman ahead of me in the queue so I stood by the door with plenty of distance between me and the other woman. The receptionist shouted at me to stand outside and I could only go in when I was told to. Bear in mind there were no signs saying you couldn’t go in. So I waited in the corridor to be invited in. A midwife asked me why I was waiting outside and I told her and she said I could go in and I didn’t need to wait, by this time I was almost late for my appointment (it was 10:29 and my appointment was 10:30 and the receptionist told me off again for not being on time! Yet my hospital letter said not to arrive early due to social distancing. Confused or what?

I’m happy to follow instructions - just tell me what they are and don’t shout.

The same receptionist had her mask under her chin and got angry at almost every woman checking in when she couldn’t hear them say their names through their masks.

@SchrodingersImmigrant

I don't agree the service is going "downhill in this country". I think this country was spoiled with customer facing stuff being quiet when bullied and OVERLY polite so no one complaints.

Times are changing. You can't keep abusing the camel for ever. It will bite back once. And that's happening.

I get great service in 99% of situations. I am polite, I am aware of my surroundings, I follow simple rules and I usually ask them how they are when on a till. Simple "You allright? Bit busy/quiet today, innit" seems to break the ice perfectly. When I receive a moody service, I am still polite, but not friendly. Simple. As I said earlier. People often mirror behaviour.

Just yesterday we had article about police looking for two women for punching a manageress after they were asked to leave.

Totally agree with this. Companies have given customers the idea that they can demand the moon on a stick and then get arsey in various degrees when it's not delivered half an hour ago, by placating customers who behave badly and abuse staff, by buying them off with free stuff and promising that the staff will get extra training etc, when the staff have done nothing wrong to start with. A lot of people, yes people, who work in customer facing roles have had enough of being the public's whipping boy and then bollocked by their employer for it too. With the new restrictions for covid there's more at stake than just a disciplinary for a staff member no one cares about, there are fines and closures at stake if shops are letting a free for all happen, so companies are backing their staff, and boy, the general public really doesn't like being told by people they consider below them. This whole the customer must be allowed to do what they like and then given an apology and free stuff when they've behaved like an arse has stopped, and some people are reacting very badly to that.

There are quite a few posts on Mumsnet about this, it’s not just the OP!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3935558-asked-to-move-back-aibu-to-be-annoyed

I used to work in retail.

I dealt with a lot of horrible customers including some who seemed to think I should worship them because they have deemed to shop in my store.

I am always pleasant and polite as a customer and have never have anyone being rude to me

OP, it really is this simple: the common denominator in all those interactions was YOU

@Apollo3, or that these events were the 4% of the time she'd been to shops and felt told off, compared to the 96% where she had no issues whatsoever. But we tend to forget the times when all went OK and disproportionately remember when they didn't, so it's entirely possible that these staff members were taking their frustrations out on OP. Just because someone works in retail doesn't mean they can't also be a twat. Same as not all health care professionals are angels.

I had this once in M&S pre-covid. They used to do all the reductions in one specific aisle - and unfortunately one day I was there at that time and needed milk which was also in that aisle but on the other side (so they were reducing on the left and I wanted something on the right). I got snapped at for even entering it by a staff member “You have to wait until we’ve finished the reductions to look at them! Why can’t you people have patience!”

I did complain - and pointed out that milk is probably a fairly common item for people to want so perhaps management should reconsider the reduction location if they don’t want people near them while they do it. (I totally get standing over them would be annoying but that isn’t what I was doing, I was still 10 feet away from them at the time!). They did move them, and started reducing in the back and then placing them around the store - I assume others had fed back the same.

So often I think the way things are set up and laid out are actually what is causing the staff stress, and feedback to the store can help that.

So much entitlement in this thread no wonder some staff are rude.