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Original poster

To ask - Can you really not know you’re pregnant?

116 replies

DefrostingBuble · 28/12/2020 15:19

I’m just curious and it’s not a dig at anyone.

Recently on Facebook, a girl I know posted that she had just found out she was 30+ weeks pregnant and had no clue.

I have two children and during my pregnancies there is no way I couldn’t have known from about 4 months.

I was just wondering whether any of you had no clue you were pregnant until very late on and what made you realise?

OP posts:
Cocomarine · 28/12/2020 17:46

@FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18

I just don't understand how someone could be a size 8-10, as many mentioned here have been, with no bump? I mean, where does the baby GO?
I agree with people who go to term without knowing!

But I was 8-10, and I didn’t look “pregnant” enough for work colleagues who didn’t already know to say, “oooooh - are you...?” until I was 34 weeks.
I didn’t have a bump that I could see myself until 30 weeks. Midwife sent me for a growth scan as fundal height was way behind. Smallish baby, lowish fluid (but both within normal ranges) and baby positioned back to back.
I was certainly “softer” at 30 weeks - but not a proper bump, and could easily have put that down to weight gain from other reasons.
I actually lost about 1/2 stone over the course of the pregnancy - I’d had heartburn and got used to eating less.

I did know - and movements would have made me suspicious at 26 weeks! But on shape alone, I could easily have got to 30 without clocking!

Mummydaydreams · 28/12/2020 17:53

I've had two hg pregnancies, started vomiting every time I tried to eat or drink anything at 5 weeks pregnant both times and felt like I was dying all the way through both of them. I'm quite jealous of people who don't have to endure pregnancy as intolerable suffering for months of endless days. I lost lots of weight in the early weeks and my bump was quite small all the way through and didn't show much for ages though so didn't look particularly pregnant for most of it. I fully can believe that many people have easy uneventful pregnancies and might not even notice. Everyone's different and every pregnancy is different.

ParkheadParadise · 28/12/2020 17:53

With my first, I was a teenager I was about 3 months when I found out.

With my second 23years later I went to the doctors with a suspected kidney infection. He asked if there was any chance of being pregnant, we both laughed and I told him there was more chance of me becoming a gran.
A visit to the hospital confirmed I was 5 months pregnant 🙈🙈. I had no symptoms and still wearing my size 10 jeans. Dd2 was born healthy on her due date.

Saltblood · 28/12/2020 17:54

I can believe it, but think it’s denial when it’s very young girls.

Being pregnant was on my mind even less than living on Mars because I never wanted children, wasn’t maternal, so had zero interest in anything baby related.

Age 38 I didn’t realise I was 18 weeks pregnant until I started eating lots of cucumber for no apparent reason.

Age 40 I started craving chamomile tea (bleurgh) and it occurred to me by then 20 weeks pregnant I might be.

Age 46 again I stopped drinking tea and coffee abruptly without thinking, and learnt was 10 weeks pregnant. This one didn’t live to 11 weeks though. No surprise given my age really.

Each time I was on contraceptive pill.

Mintjulia · 28/12/2020 17:57

@redpickledcabbage. I didn't have any of those symptoms, except tiredness which a malfunctioning thyroid accounts for perfectly.

I feel very sorry for anyone who gets to labour without knowing. I was shocked to my core and I still had 5 months to go.

hiredandsqueak · 28/12/2020 18:09

@Cocomarine For dd who was 27 weeks before she knew and a size six even at term you wouldn't have known she was pregnant other than the big stomach. From the back she still appeared to have a waist, she put no weight on anywhere else and by ten days she was back to her pre pregnancy shape. Her concern at bloating at 27 weeks probably wouldn't have bothered somebody who wasn't normally really slim tbh because her size six clothes still fit until she was 32 weeks. The sonographer asked her at each scan whether she would allow trainees to scan her because she said she was so slight and it made her scans really clear to read presumably because there was no fat to get in the way.

bridgetreilly · 28/12/2020 18:22

It's more likely if you have irregular periods, obviously, but also it is possible to have some bleeding during pregnancy which can be mistaken for periods. And it's certainly possible not to have an obvious bump or other symptoms. People genuinely do give birth without having known they were pregnant, and it's certainly possible not to realise for several months.

CoronaIsADick · 28/12/2020 18:43

I know of a girl who gave birth on the bathroom floor. Had no idea she was pregnant, started getting extreme stomach cramps (contractions) her boyfriend rang 999 and turned out she was in labour

VanillaAndOrange · 28/12/2020 19:33

Not just skipping a period but tender boobs, varicose veins, morning sickness, an acute sense of smell, tiredness, kicks, heartburn, swollen ankles and fingers, cravings etc.

Just missed periods and eventually kicks for me. But I'd been TTC so I knew very early on anyway. Oh, one other thing, I have read that you tan more easily when you're pregnant and that was true with my August baby - I'm very pale and it's the only time I've ever had tan lines!

looselegs · 28/12/2020 19:37

Friend of mine was rushed into hospital with suspected appendicitis and came out with a baby girl. She never had a clue!
Another friends daughter in law didn't find out she was pregnant until 35 weeks- then gave birth 2 weeks early so only had a couple of weeks to get used to it!

Amanduh · 28/12/2020 19:39

I was well over 16 weeks when I found out. On the pill often taken back to back so no periods.. No weight gain (in that time frame) No sickness. Nothing. No reason to suspect I was pregnant!

LostAcre · 28/12/2020 19:45

@RedPickledCabbage

I’m with you op.

Pregnancy has many, many, many symptoms. Not just skipping a period but tender boobs, varicose veins, morning sickness, an acute sense of smell, tiredness, kicks, heartburn, swollen ankles and fingers, cravings etc.

People who say they didn’t know they were pregnant are in denial. I say this as someone who had her first child when I was 17 and I’d ignored my symptoms for as long as I could.

@RedPickledCabbage

With DS1, the only one of the symptoms you list other than missing periods that I really had was the kicks, and as I had an anterior placenta, I couldn’t feel them until quite late on.
A bit of tiredness, maybe, but not really anything that couldn’t have been easily explained by other stuff in my life until late on in my pregnancy.

And believe me, I was looking for symptoms. I knew I was pregnant, as we’d been TTC. But going into the 12 week scan, the lack of symptoms seriously had me thinking that I’d be told that there wasn’t a live baby in there (happily I was wrong about that!)

qazxc · 28/12/2020 19:53

Colleague of mine didn't know until she was 7 months. She is very slim and didn't show at all. She always had irregular periods and had monthly spotting so she thought her periods were getting lighter. She had twins the year before so must have known what being pregnant " felt like". Her bump appeared st month 8 and I assume she had an anterior placenta ( like I did) which means she wouldn't have felt movement or she put it down to gas.

Baws · 28/12/2020 19:57

I missed 3 periods but did a few tests which were negative, I went to the GP who said that the tests were accurate so I definitely wasn’t pregnant. I was busy preparing my wedding and moving house so I kept myself busy with that. I then was admitted to A&E with cramps and bleeding a few days later, it turned out this was caused by an ovarian cyst but I was also 12 weeks pregnant. If that hadn’t happened I probably wouldn’t have known until about 30 weeks when I literally woke up one morning with a huge bump! With DC2 I knew straight away. I can definitely see why some people might not know.

FlumpetCrumpet · 28/12/2020 20:04

@RedPickledCabbage

I’m with you op.

Pregnancy has many, many, many symptoms. Not just skipping a period but tender boobs, varicose veins, morning sickness, an acute sense of smell, tiredness, kicks, heartburn, swollen ankles and fingers, cravings etc.

People who say they didn’t know they were pregnant are in denial. I say this as someone who had her first child when I was 17 and I’d ignored my symptoms for as long as I could.

I am not pregnant currently but I am an ageing couch potato with a germy toddler that runs me ragged and a somewhat stressful job, i could tick off all of the symptoms you’ve listed multiple times a week.

I remember going to my 20 week scan in my pre pregnancy skinny jeans when I was pregnant with DS.

BakewellGin1 · 28/12/2020 20:14

With DS1 I was on the depo injection, was tied but no more then expected as I had two horses was up at 5am daily to sort them, at work for 8.30 till 5, farm till 7, then usually out seeing friends/bf and drinking Fri, Sat and hungover Sun Grin
No further symptoms, had periods for first few months, tested at first missed one at random as suggested by a friend... Was positive at nearly 4 months... Had him at 35 weeks so wasn't knowingly pregnant long...

DS2 (was on the pill) I found out after a random nose bleed and sore boobs at approx 7 weeks but apart from that I was fine no symptoms, anterior placenta so didn't feel movement until later on think was 22 weeks so if it hadnt been for the nose bleed and sore boobs which lasted about 2 days I'd not have known.

Nowaynothappening · 28/12/2020 20:20

I know a few people who didn’t find out until they were quite far along. My Mum was 20 weeks with me, I was her first child and she had absolutely no symptoms plus she still had her withdrawal bleed from the pill every month. She went to the GP when the bleed didn’t happen once and they did a test.

A friend of hers went to the GP thinking she was going through the menopause, she was 30 weeks pregnant.

A friend of mine got pregnant at 18 and had no idea until she was 36 weeks. We have a photo of her at a party the week before she found out and her stomach is washboard. No idea where the baby was hiding but he was born 5 weeks later weighing 8 lbs 6 Grin, he’s 12 now.

Sceptre86 · 28/12/2020 20:26

I always thought that ths was daft and women couldn't not know. Then I got pregnant with dd and my only symptom was peeing a lot. I had several utis when trying to conceive and on the last trip to the gp had been asked if I was ttc. I responded that I was but had not succeeded and she smiled at me. I took a test a week before my period was due and was pregnant only because of that. I was nauseous but rarely sick and experience that before a period anyway. I could still fit into my size 8 clothes at 24 weeks pregnant. It was shortly after that that I started to look pregnant, I had an anterior placenta so couldn't really feel movements. So yes I totally do understand how some women don't realise!

SuperPixie247 · 28/12/2020 20:36

I had shocking prenatal depression with my DS and barely told anyone I was pregnant so I could ignore it. I was a size 4 until about a week before my due date, no sickness, no soreness, zilch.

I remember my DP doing a little birth announcement on FB for family, friends etc. and the majority of people in my life could not believe I had had a baby - 11 days overdue too!

I felt so guilty, mostly for my DS, that I didn't enjoy my pregnancy, never spoke about it, like a shameful secret. Looking back, it can't have been much fun for my DP either. But I was genuinely unwell and I got sterilised 3 years later, age 26 to avoid another round.

So maybe, out of those who didn't have a clue, maybe a tiny percent of them did but couldn't face it., especially if they are alone.

cheesetoastiewithham · 28/12/2020 20:40

A few years ago while pregnant a friend of mine told me she could never understand how people couldn't know and they must be in denial.
Fast forward 3 years she was a mother of 4. She aent to the doctor with a bad back. She was 36 weeks pregnant and had absolutely no idea at all. Baby girl was born less than a week later.
Oh how we laughed 😂

Whoopsies · 28/12/2020 20:42

I have a friend who didn't know she was pregnant until she gave birth. We went ice skating 3 days before! She honestly didn't look pregnant at all, and she was slim anyway!
I also worked with someone who found out at 28 weeks. She was having back ache and went to see a chriopractor who did lots of manipulation etc and she woke up the next morning with a full baby bump!! He must have been tucked away somewhere and been moved. She totally freaked out!

Bourbonbiccy · 28/12/2020 20:44

I didn't know until 15 weeks.

FlyNow · 28/12/2020 20:55

I'm with you OP, I don't get it. I didn't have a big bump either but from 3 months plus you can feel a hard lump in your abdomen. The pelvis just isn't that big so I don't know how you wouldn't feel it.

Also people say "I still had periods" as if periods are completely unrelated to this and may or may not stop. But that's impossible - the hormonal cycle is not there, the lining of the uterus is not shedding along with an unfertilised egg. So you can't have a period. You may have a bleed which I suppose one could mistake for a period. But for that to coincidentally happen every month on the same date? And for days? I find it more believable when people say that due to pcos or similar they don't have periods regularly anyway.

jambeforeclottedcream · 28/12/2020 20:57

I totally get how it could happen

I have been known to only have one af every 4-6 months ...