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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask - Can you really not know you’re pregnant?

116 replies

DefrostingBuble · 28/12/2020 15:19

I’m just curious and it’s not a dig at anyone.

Recently on Facebook, a girl I know posted that she had just found out she was 30+ weeks pregnant and had no clue.

I have two children and during my pregnancies there is no way I couldn’t have known from about 4 months.

I was just wondering whether any of you had no clue you were pregnant until very late on and what made you realise?

OP posts:
flashbac · 28/12/2020 15:48

Yanbu.

I'm actually quite envious of women who don't realise they're pregnant!

x2boys · 28/12/2020 15:48

I had a very irregular cycle ,I mean very irregular I could go six months without a period ,so theoretically yes I might not have known ,but we were trying and I looked like the back end of a bus there was no disguising my baby bumps🤣

Whattheactual20201 · 28/12/2020 15:50

This literally just happened to me ( newborn now peacefully sleeping next to me )
I have had 2 previous DC.
It is very possible
I had my “period “ the whole time.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 28/12/2020 15:54

I didnt know with my third until i was 14 weeks and if i hadnt of had a scan for some gynea issues id been having prior to having children i probably wouldnt have realised until i was gone 24 weeks which is when i started to get a bump and she started moving

Cocomarine · 28/12/2020 15:56

I knew very very early - IVF.
If I hadn’t know because of that, and has an unknown failed contraception situation, I wouldn’t have known for a long time.

  • I didn’t get sick.
  • I have PCOS so months without a period is normal for me
  • I did have a week of being shattered, around 8 weeks, but would have easily put that down to, “coming down with something” - especially as it was my first and I didn’t know what that first trimester tiredness could be like!
  • I didn’t show until about 30 weeks (was sent for additional growth scan)

It would have been the movements that gave it away for me - at about 26 weeks, I think.

chaosisaladder · 28/12/2020 15:56

I’ve heard stories (friends of friends) but for me personally, even though I have PCOS and irregular periods, I know straight away damn lightning crotch

Baileyscoffeeandcampfires · 28/12/2020 15:58

My mum was mid thirties and going through what she thought was early menopause.

Turned out to be my younger brother- her 5th child and she didn't notice until she felt him really move at 28 weeks

BruceAndMarley · 28/12/2020 16:02

My friend didn’t know until she went into labour . Birthed a 9lb something son. Perfectly healthy thankfully . Smoked all the way through , drank , didn’t take any precautions . Was no bigger than a size 10, no bump. Nothing . We were all shocked. My husband delivered a baby at work (his job), to a woman who came to a&e with cramps , turned out it was labour and she had no idea either.
If I didn’t know it happen to someone I am friends with I wouldn’t believe it as I knew from 4 weeks with my daughter , and she rolled around inside me like a bloody alien , there was no missing her.

Standrewsschool · 28/12/2020 16:03

Someone I knew didn’t know they were pregnant until they were four months or so. They hadn’t had a period for months, and was actually being investigated for it. She’d had a negative pregnancy test (before she became pregnant?). She was slightly tubby, so hid the pregnancy well. The first we knew about it was when she came in with a scan.

In days gone past, you didn’t do pregnancy tests until you missed a period, and then would wait a couple of weeks incase it was late, so it was easy not to know for definite until you were 6 weeks plus.

BruceAndMarley · 28/12/2020 16:03

It also happened to a lady on here, a few months back before I had my DD, she put a thread asking about wind. She did a test, it was positive , went for a scan and turned out she was over 30 weeks pregnant

DustyMaiden · 28/12/2020 16:04

I had my period but still knew I was pregnant. Can’t imagine not knowing. My DS went for a scan thinking 7 weeks but was 32.

Mia1415 · 28/12/2020 16:04

I found out at 25 weeks and didn't have a clue until a few days until I found out. I didn't have a bump until about 30 weeks.

My periods had always been irregular and I put the tiredness down to stress at work.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/12/2020 16:06

My great grandmother didn't know until almost the 7th month. It was her 10th baby.

An old friend from school didn't know until she was 36 weeks. She was thin, had a period the whole time, and was in training to be a nurse.

trunumber · 28/12/2020 16:06

My sister was nearly 5 months with both, born 10 years apart with very little contraception used in that time- she had periods throughout, no sickness, no symptoms at all. She realised with the second when she felt the baby move.

Santaisreel · 28/12/2020 16:07

@BruceAndMarley

It also happened to a lady on here, a few months back before I had my DD, she put a thread asking about wind. She did a test, it was positive , went for a scan and turned out she was over 30 weeks pregnant

These are quite regular stories on here

Itsonlymakebelieve · 28/12/2020 16:07

I worked with a slim woman in her thirties just us 2 in one small office 5 days a week. She didn’t find out til she was 24 weeks, had stomach pains and went to GP. She had 2 older children 17 and 14 so a bit of a surprise. She for sure had no idea and didn’t in the least look pregnant.
A few years later I worked with a woman in her early 20’s she came into work after a week off to say her best friend, same age, had just had a baby. Her friend had found out she was pregnant at 30 weeks and gave birth all within a week. My work colleague was amazed as they had been living life large lots of drinking etc right up to the diagnosis and they had been on holiday when the friend must have been about 5 1/2 months pregnant in bikinis and similar no sign at all. She wasn’t even with baby’s dad anymore. Apparently the friends mum and dad had to rush to the shops as there was obviously nothing ready for a baby at all, baby was fine in spite of all the “wrong” things that the friend had done not knowing she was pregnant.

Tistheseason17 · 28/12/2020 16:07

@BruceAndMarley

I loved that thread!! So much joy!

And, OP - yes, I think if you have not planned a baby and you continue periods etc and the placenta is at the back you can easily not know for quite a while! I was tubby before I got pregnant - I only looked pregnant at 22 weeks - but, then , I was TTC!!

oopsiedaisie1 · 28/12/2020 16:08

Yep , I was 23 weeks when I found out. I did pregnancy tests , came back neg, felt so poorly but put it down to an op I had (whilst being pregnant and not knowing) only when I felt a limp did I start to worry then got another test which was positive and had him 17 weeks later!! Miracle really after having G/A and a number of pain killers after an op, sipping down the stairs with a negative blood group and not being checked Shock

OutrageousFlavourLikeFreesias · 28/12/2020 16:11

Yes of course! I know two women who found out they were pregnant when they went into labour. Both had been seen / examined by doctors (one just before her baby was born, so at almost full term) for unrelated conditions, and the doctors failed to spot their pregnancies. It really does happen.

IamPickleRick · 28/12/2020 16:11

Yep. I had just had a baby so had no periods. I was nearly 4 months and thought I was very ill. No movement felt and it was my third so you’d think I’d notice. I was still breastfeeding the baby so sore boobs went unnoticed.

zzizz · 28/12/2020 16:16

Back when we were TTC, this was my fantasy (and occasionally a fear). I wonder how many women throughout history have had an unexpected child. Must have been especially terrifying in the days before doctors and scans.

LostAcre · 28/12/2020 16:18

With DS1, my only real pregnancy symptom was missing periods until he was big enough for me to feel him moving. And I had an anterior placenta, which made it harder to feel baby movements.

We were TTC, so I’d done a pregnancy test early.
But if we weren’t TTC and if I’d had a reason to think missed periods were normal - such as menopause, pcos, contraception - then I reckon I could have got past 24 weeks before I realised I was pregnant.

Directionerforever · 28/12/2020 16:21

SIL had a surprise baby. Found out at 36 weeks, went to the GP with persistent heartburn and they palpated her abdomen and found a gravid uterus. She’s got a raised BMI so difficult to tell, sent her for a scan and discovered baby was pretty much term. ELCS booked for a couple of weeks later. She says in hindsight she probably did feel the baby move but she thought it wind and her periods had stopped but she put it down to menopause (she’s mid 40’s). Basically because she wasn’t expecting to be pregnant none of the things that should have alerted her did so.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 28/12/2020 16:26

A friend of mine suddenly started having contractions, she'd been on holiday the previous week, still had periods and had no idea at all.

I've seen the pictures of her at the beach the previous week and I'd never have guessed at all.

Rach000 · 28/12/2020 16:29

My sister knows someone who had a baby when she was young, about 17 or 18 I think. She didn't know she was pregnant and one night had stomach pain that got bad so had to go to the hospital as thought it was appendicitis but she was in labour and had a baby. She didnt have a clue she was pregnant.