To not understand why people don't understand..

[AccidentallyOnSanta]

Simple concepts?

Like boxes,pyjamas,pet sleeping arrangements,tv shows,boardgames, household arrangements , what names they use for various things etc? I'm not even getting into the Covid ones.

Basic,simple things that obviously are a matter of what you like and want /are able to do.

So many people recently displaying this faux naïveté, in badly disguised attempt to just say "you're wrong, I don't like it ,you should stop doing it".

I'm not sure what you mean.

I think people who say they don't understand actually mean "what's the point in . . ." and, most if the time, the answer is because people bloody well want to.

YANBU

It's like the dimwits who state things like "McDonald's is NOT a treat, it's disgusting. I don't understand how people can 'treat' their kids to it blah blah blah", as though it's an absolute fact.

No, it's just not a treat for you because you don't like it 🤷‍♀️

So many people recently displaying this faux naïveté, in badly disguised attempt to just say "you're wrong, I don't like it ,you should stop doing it".

Well you've answered your own question there! AIBU is basically a mixture of snobs who like a good hoik of the judgy-pants and goady gits who like a bit of shit-stirring. Mix them together and these are the type of threads you end up getting.

@WorraLiberty

YANBU

It's like the dimwits who state things like "McDonald's is NOT a treat, it's disgusting. I don't understand how people can 'treat' their kids to it blah blah blah", as though it's an absolute fact.

No, it's just not a treat for you because you don't like it 🤷‍♀️

Exactly this. McDonald’s is not a treat at all for me but I do love KFC so where is the difference really?

I don't understand, that you don't understand people, who don't understand.

and breathe

@BrumBoo

So many people recently displaying this faux naïveté, in badly disguised attempt to just say "you're wrong, I don't like it ,you should stop doing it".

Well you've answered your own question there! AIBU is basically a mixture of snobs who like a good hoik of the judgy-pants and goady gits who like a bit of shit-stirring. Mix them together and these are the type of threads you end up getting.

I obviously do understand why it happens and that it's not that they don't "understand " at all.

I was just fighting fire with fire.

@vodkaredbullgirl

I don't understand, that you don't understand people, who don't understand.

and breathe

I don't understand why you don't understand that I don't understand people that don't understand.

Not the word understand has lost all meaning.

I get it but you’ve just done exactly what you have accused other posters of doing: displayed faux naïveté by claiming you don’t understand why people don’t understand.

You know that they do understand but are just be gaining like twats.

Yanbu. In the fucking slightest.
Especially if it’s banded out with...Christmas eve boxes...is that a thing now.
Well yes, some people do things, so I suppose they are a thing for some people and not a thing for the people who don’t.
Anyone that says “is that a thing now” irrationally annoys me way more than the use of words like picky tea, hubby and veggies.

I actually don’t know what Christmas Eve Boxes are. But I can kind of guess. I get the point you’re making tho. Saw quite a good come back once to that ‘i don’t understand...’ comment. Reply: ‘that’s, ok, I don’t understand lots of things either. Don’t worry about it.’ Thought it was quite funny when I saw that once.

@SavoyCabbage

I'm curious as to why people think a Macdonalds is a treat.

No you aren't curious. Wanker.

That’s so funny.

Because they don't want to just come out and say they don't like something and openly criticise people, but they fancy slagging people off. I think it comes from wanting to be 'right' and have other people agree with them - some sort of validation shit going on there.

I personally would not like a pet in my bed, but I imagine that people love their pets and like snuggling them and for the pet to be comfortable. Doesn't take a genius or an empath to work it out, but what they're really saying is 'people who let pets sleep with them are disgusting'. Why it bothers them so much, I don't know.

you are completely right OP. It's people who don't have enough backbone to say it's not how they would do it and not enough intelligence or empathy to realise other people do things differently and shockingly it's not wrong.

They either haven't got enough spine to directly state an opinion or they are arrogant enough to think everyone should behave the same as them.

None of which indicate much virtue in people who post like this. Its supremely embarrassing to be them.

I was just fighting fire with fire.

Then you need to start a thread of the same, yet opposite, vein .

AIBU to not understand why some parents don't do a Christmas Eve box?

My neighbour, let's call her Sarah (for some fucking reason) isn't getting her children Arlo and Rex (they may be children. They may actually be cats, but let's keep it vague), isn't doing a Christmas Eve Box for her DC. She doesn't do a chocolate advent calendar either, and I actually think I heard her referring to Father Christmas as Santa . WIBU to make them a Christmas Eve Box (signed by Father Christmas) with just some little bits (pyjamas from Matalan, Poundland knock off Lindor, latest iPad, fireworks, you know just the general bits and bobs)? I just feel they're missing out on the true meaning of Christmas....

Well, obviously it's a common rhetorical device to say, "this is so ridiculous that its purpose is incomprehensible". Sometimes it works.

It's used disproportionately frequently for things like elf on the shelf and Christmas Eve boxes because, while there's nothing wrong with not liking them and not doing them, there isn't actually any moral value to them and choosing not to do them doesn't make you superior. Nobody quite wants to come out and say, "I think they're working class and I'm a paranoid would-be social climber", and all the moralistic fig leaf arguments that pretend it's about commercialism and waste and poor children are laughably easy to slap down.

Therefore, many people think it's better to display their superiority by claiming to be too simple to understand the concept. Perhaps they think it gives the impression that their brains are just on too high a level for it, as opposed to merely being unicellular. Either way, it allows them to proclaim that they Do Not Do This Thing without having to make themselves look dafter by relying on one of the above non-reasons that falls apart when you see they also buy a couple of things they don't "need" at Christmas and probably spend and waste more on those.

"Because I just don't fancy them" is of course the only reason anyone needs, but you can't claim moralistic and class superiority points with that one.

You started with "boxes", which makes me think you mean "Christmas Eve boxes", among other things.

My take on it is:
A lot of people see other people doing things that they consider excessive. Eg Christmas Eve boxes, huge piles of presents under the tree, toddlers with expensive technology, etc etc. I can see why these make some people uneasy; the trope is self-aggrandising, excessive, boastful.

However, there is a lot of snobbery at play here too. If you have a big house and a pony, your child probably has an awful lot of other opportunities too, and there is no need for you to prove what a lovely Christmas you've given them. In fact there is no need to be excessive at Christmas, as those children want for nothing. You can give them a fair-trade ukulele and congratulate yourself on how little plastic you've consumed, no bother.

As ever, there is surely a path of righteousness that passes somewhere between the two.

@BrumBoo 😂😂😂😂Brilliant.

I wrote this on another thread but I think mumsnet is absolutely awful at the moment. SO many judgmental threads with this faux wide eyed naivety starting with “I just don’t understand....” and listing perfectly normal things. There are also ridiculously snobby threads judging perfectly normal toiletries and chocolate and wayyy too many thread slagging off gifts they’ve got. Then there’s all the “oh I don’t possibly understand why you’d ever have matching pyjamas with your family, that must mean you’re an attention seeking bunch of commoners who are so desperately unhappy in your lives you only take the photo for the validation of social media and must have an unhappy life”. On one thread yesterday someone actually said that anyone who buys their partner presents must be unhappy in their relationship because if you’re stable and happy you have no need to buy presents.

It’s a bunch of judgemental, snobby bullshit and is really really unpleasant to read.

There is a value in being direct and not as the OP describes. It seems the same as people who complain about something saying 'we weren't consulted', as if their view would have been listened to and a different thing happened.

Therefore, many people think it's better to display their superiority by claiming to be too simple to understand the concept. Perhaps they think it gives the impression that their brains are just on too high a level for it, as opposed to merely being unicellular.

Ooooh yes. See also: people who come on threads specifically about someone in the media just to claim not to have heard about that person. Ie: “I really like Gemma Collins’ podcast, has anyone heard it and want to discuss?”. First reply: “Gemma Collins? Who’s that, I’ve never heard of her..... oh it’s someone on Towie, I wouldn’t know as I don’t watch tv”

Fuck off. It doesn’t make you a better person.

YANBU. It's snobbery basically, just a way of saying "I'm a much superior person."

@ShirleyPhallus oh god yeah, I remember seeing a thread where someone claimed not to know who Kim Kardashian was. I fail to see how that's possible unless you never use the internet or watch any TV.

My Mum does this a lot. Coincidentally she also believes she is superior to everyone. And is a complete nutcase.