Too anxious for big wedding - WWYD?

[Drivingthroughfords]

I've been with my partner for 7 years and we're in our 30s now. We've both been quite casual about marriage, but have recently got engaged. Yay!

HOWEVER, as much as I can't wait to be married to DP, I'm so anxious about a wedding. I feel like my friends and family would expect me to have the standard wedding with all the trimmings, but I absolutely hate being the centre of attention! The thought of having to do a big aisle walk, first dance etc. fills me with nerves. Inwardly, I'm quite shy, although most people wouldn't know that unless they really know me.

Ideally, I'd have something tiny such as a registry office ceremony with just our close family and closest friends, then throw a big party in a village hall with a big buffet. Part of me though is worrying that I'll regret having the "big day". Has anyone done this?

Please help!

YABU - Suck it up and have the "big day" - you'll regret it if you don't
YANBU - A small wedding + party sounds fab!

You sound just like me op. We are having a small and simple wedding next summer and are very excited. My dress is a beautiful but subtle monsoon wedding dress so no puffy meringue and no big price tag. Fewer than 20 guests, a simple registration office ceremony followed by some nice photos then a restaurant meal. Got a couple of cute flower girls and our toddler ds will be a page boy. Will cost around £2k altogether.

No speeches, no walking down the aisle just me (we will walk together), no hen or stag nights, no honey moon, no first dance / any dancing and no bridesmaids. No table plan. No best man either. We just couldn't be dealing with any of it! I never wanted to get married at all until I met dp which plays a big part in all this I think so no 'dreaming of a big day since I was a little girl' stuff.

We've had one friend who was pissed off with no invite but she came round. Other than that it's been smooth sailing. Do something similar to us if it's what you want and don't be pressurised into something bigger / fussier or more expensive than what u feel happy with. It's your day (cliche but true!). Congratulations on the engagement

@FirewomanSam

I had the choice taken away from me this year with my ‘big’ 100 person wedding being reduced to a 12-person 10 minute ceremony at the register office. I don’t regret it for a second and we’ve saved enough for a house deposit instead of all the money we would have spent on our wedding!

And personally I wouldn’t put off a wedding to lose weight, that just sounds like a recipe for misery and self-torture to me. Find an outfit that makes you feel fab as you are now and just go for it! Putting life on hold until you lose weight is rarely worth it!

Love your username, and I actually know irl a firewoman called Sam!!