To feel insulted to have my parenting described as "laissez-faire"?

[mistletoeandsigh]

That's it, really 😬 My boyfriend said that knowing my personality he wasn't too shocked to find that my parenting is quite "laissez-faire". We knew each other for many years before getting together. I do things with my children (more when it's not this corona filled life...), look after their needs, talk to them. I am quite relaxed about most things, except rudeness.

I have a decent career and have been a single parent for some time. I have lots of interests outside of family and enjoy getting out when the children are with their dad.

I just wondered whether it's a bit insulting. I didn't say anything at the time but felt a bit sad later, thinking I might be seen as a poor parent. Would you take this as an insult, or am I reading too much into it?

Sounds like a compliment to me.

@alwaysraining123

I am very uptight I’d love my parenting style to be described in such terms. It sounds like you’re doing a great job.

Thank you

How are they with him? Is he trying to tell you there are things that have been annoying him and he doesn’t think you’re aware?

My bil said this to me and dh before he had children. I couldn't really figure out if it was a compliment or an insult, but took it as a compliment anyways. Laid back, relaxed, not a stressed out mess (like he is now he has DC🤣). Sounds good to me!

I think his comment that his parents were not as relaxed as you was him saying you are too relaxed in your parenting. It is one of those comments you will find in a thread asking ‘the dick things you said before you had kids’.

As a fellow single parent working full time and home schooling two kids I think your style is absolutely right. If he becomes a step parent to your children or you have children with him he may grow to learn how laughable his comment was and apologise profusely or you may grow to learn you actually both have very different parenting styles which may not gel. Dig a little deeper if you want him to be any type of parent with you.

I'd take it as a criticism, and object to it, but not take it to heart. He did say it's hard.

My damn brother loves to criticise every about my parenting and I do too much for my (two under 5) kids apparently. I told him to get back to me when he actually has children. He added he's a teacher. He's a teacher in an all girls secondary school. Ridiculous. It's like me telling him how to teach better, I have no idea.

Maybe it's just me, but I actually take that as a compliment :)
For the 2 seconds I care. After that: no relevance what anyone else thinks...