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Original poster

Friend texted my fiancé and not me

72 replies

littlebow1 · 25/12/2020 21:45

AIBU to think it's odd that one of my friends texted my fiancé "merry Christmas to both of you" instead of texting me it?
He met my friend through me, so obviously doesn't know her as well as I do. (I didn't get a message off her)

AIBU to think it's odd?

OP posts:
PBW1 · 25/12/2020 22:46

This happened to me, hubby received message from my friend merry Christmas etc. 8 months later had a bbq at mine invited my friend with kids and my neighbour came round with his kids. My friends hubby wasn’t there (working away). My neighbour pulled me one side put his hands on his lips (to say keep quiet) and pointed at something. When I looked, I saw my friend rubbing her foot in my hubby’s groin. She said her feet were cold. Needless to say we separated a few months later when I started finding out more things. That was 16 years ago. If your gut is not comfortable with it pay attention to that feeling - 9/10 your gut feeling is right. It is odd. But don’t mention it, if he and your friend are doing you wrong they’ll hide it. Confide in someone else and keep your eyes open. Hope all goes okay for you.

Snowy0w1 · 25/12/2020 22:47

I'd find that odd. She is your friend!

Thisismyusernamefornow · 25/12/2020 22:49

She should have text you.

SaltyAF · 25/12/2020 22:51

Might she have messaged the wrong person of the same name?

Pechanga · 25/12/2020 22:52

Very odd...trust your gut.

Myotherusernamewastakenagain · 25/12/2020 22:52

She's clearly trying to shag him. She isn't your friend. LTB as he's obviously led her on. Etc etc

chaosisaladder · 25/12/2020 22:56

It is odd. My friends husband messaged me to say merry Christmas today but it was directly in response to something I had posted on my story, and he referenced DH in the message as well. I said it back - I did say to pass on my love though. I think I would be having a word with your friend.

Fivefatsausages · 25/12/2020 22:58

Maybe she thought she’d texted you too. That’s the first thing that sprung to my mind... I wouldn’t worry about it. Or maybe she thought she’d call you today and hasn’t got round to it. I wouldn’t worry too much - she’s probably been frantic today!

Birdy65 · 25/12/2020 23:01

If the message was sent via FB maybe it was one of those round robin iMessages sent to friends in contact list?

Did he show it you or did you accidentally see the message?

Original poster
littlebow1 · 25/12/2020 23:17

Thank you everyone for the replies! I don't feel so silly now for thinking that it is odd! I've spoken to my DP about it and he agreed that it's very weird of her.
I also have the password to his phone etc and always have done and never seen a conversation with her. He doesn't even have her number!

I'm not going to say anything to her but maybe keep my distance for a while.

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Pukkatea · 25/12/2020 23:27

I'd assume she'd had a couple of drinks, been on FB, spotted his name, done a random message that doesn't make a lot of logical sense. When I'm a bit drunk I've messaged people I haven't spoken to in years on Facebook.

Eckhart · 25/12/2020 23:32

Can't you just ask her why she did it?

Thirtyysomething · 25/12/2020 23:36

Yes, I would find this very odd.

toocold54 · 25/12/2020 23:59

Did she message you too OP?

Maybe this was her way of being nice and letting him know she likes him type thing.

I often text my family/friends partners to show they are part of the family/included in some way. But I also always text my friend/family member too!

Original poster
littlebow1 · 26/12/2020 00:01

@toocold54 no she didn't message me anything. Which is why I thought it was odd and our last conversation was this week

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Original poster
littlebow1 · 26/12/2020 00:02

@Eckhart I will ask her when I see her face to face, I think that will be better as she won't have time to think about her reply like she would over text

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toocold54 · 26/12/2020 00:04

It does seem odd.

Did your DP reply and did she reply to that?

cakewench · 26/12/2020 00:11

It’s a bit weird. If it was FB messenger, maybe she saw him online and you weren’t?

I’ll be honest, I started typing this to say it was very strange, but then I’ve given it some thought and I can imagine it happening if it’s someone I don’t text daily. Like I have a few close WhatsApp groups/ friends but I have some people who don’t text as often, and maybe I’d just text their partner if I saw them online or whatever.

Basically, I feel like there’s more to the story if it’s worrying you?

buckeejit · 26/12/2020 00:17

Actually, thinking about it, I can envisage a couple of people I'd do this with, though we've spent time together as couples/families & all get on. Is she single?

OhOkayThenx · 26/12/2020 00:19

I suppose it is odd but then again so is this

I also have the password to his phone etc and always have done and never seen a conversation with her. He doesn't even have her number!

Seems like you have some trust issues.

Original poster
littlebow1 · 26/12/2020 00:26

@OhOkayThenx not sure how you managed to get that I have trust issues from that one sentence.

We've been together over 6 years and from the start we've always had each other's passwords (same password on iPad etc as we share) And to be honest we never look through each other's phones as I've never felt I needed to.

What I meant by "never seeing a conversation from her" is sometimes when DP is driving he asks me to reply to messages for him, so if there was a message from her I would have seen it.

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Original poster
littlebow1 · 26/12/2020 00:27

@buckeejit yes she's single

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DisorganisedPurpose · 26/12/2020 00:28

She might be just seeing you as a couple and wanted to show she fully accepts him and you together - sees you as a unit so can text greetings to either of you. Perhaps she had already shared best Christmas wishes to you earlier and wanted to directly include him too. I wouldn't be too concerned about this.

OhOkayThenx · 26/12/2020 00:29

[quote littlebow1]@OhOkayThenx not sure how you managed to get that I have trust issues from that one sentence.

We've been together over 6 years and from the start we've always had each other's passwords (same password on iPad etc as we share) And to be honest we never look through each other's phones as I've never felt I needed to.

What I meant by "never seeing a conversation from her" is sometimes when DP is driving he asks me to reply to messages for him, so if there was a message from her I would have seen it. [/quote]
You literally said you had his password to his phone. I don't see why anyone would need someone's phone password unless they have trust issues. No need to get defensive.

Original poster
littlebow1 · 26/12/2020 00:32

@OhOkayThenx I know what I said and I'm not being defensive at all.
I can't see how having your DP phone password is classed as being "insecure".
I thought most people have their partners passwords unless they had something to hide.

OP posts:
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