To be disappointed I've not used 2020 to do something useful

[Alonelonelyloner]

Just that really. So many people have achieved so much. They crocheted whole wardrobes, they've learnt to speak Japanese, they've volunteered at food banks, they've lost 4 stone and run a virtual marathon.

I've achieved precisely fuck all. I've worked my arse off, separated from my husband, and made my kids miserable.
Is it too late to manage a Covid19 life-changer?????

Me too. I've not been well since a couple of weeks before the lockdown and feel I could have had such a great time and done so much. And feel like it's been a complete waste of what could have been. Starting to feel better now. Not too late, I'm planning to start making small changes before new year.

You have got through , that's just fine.

And I am sure your kids will be fine. It's not your job to make them happy all the time but to bring them up safe and decent humans

Separating is quite a big deal OP and would be harder for some people than losing weight. Presumably you did it for a reason?

Getting divorced was one of the most difficult things I've ever done.
It was also the best thing for me and my kids.
I hope next year is better for you
I needed to loose weight this year, but I put on a stone !

In the nicest possible way, OP...

Covid-epiphany-FOMO sounds like the battiest thing you could be doing to yourself I've heard of. And that's in this batty year of batty things.

You have had an incredibly full year. Separating from your husband, just in itself, can be a huge deal, practically and emotionally.

And you've been working your arse off and juggling children's needs as well. That counts as a very busy year any time, and also as "doing something useful." Not glamorous, but useful!

You're doing that thing of comparing yourself to other people's social media lives. They're not going to tell you about the boring, unpleasant stuff!

Oh gosh my work colleagues are mostly kid free and during the original lockdown we’re always on about how much yoga/painting/virtual learning they’ve done and I was like “I’ve kept the kids alive and not been sacked”

Don’t worry. There’s another year on the horizon.

I have to say working throughout the shit show this year has been and keeping your kids alive counts for an awful lot without throwing in separation/divorce!!!

It's a pandemic, not a self development opportunity! If you've managed to look after your kids and keep yourself afloat during what sounds like a very difficult year, for other reasons too, you rule!

With all kindness, give yourself a shake!

You’ve survived working and raising children through a bloody pandemic! Plus the end of a serious relationship on top of that.

There are a few people who’ve done amazing things in lockdown. But most of us have just been hanging on by our fingernails, just like you. I’d guess most of the lockdown overachievers were furloughed and/or didn’t have young children.

It's 2020. Surviving is enough.

If I hadn’t had to work, I’d have brushed up my Italian, lost 5 stone, had a lovely garden, redecorated and a whole host of other things.

But I did have to work, I’ve managed not to catch this bloody thing and take it home to my parents and so life is good.

Fat, scruffy and pidgeitalianed but good

I felt a bit disappointed with myself for not getting fit, reading more books, doing more crafts, cycling etc. I have no kids. However, I kept working full time and I have Crohn's disease, so quite frankly I gave myself a break. The enforced 'rest' has put me in a lot better position to stay healthy for 2021. I suggest you might like to give yourself a break too, OP.

I signed up to learn sign language. Not even opened the link much less started the course! It's only 20 hours and I work part time. I've no excuse. Sounds like you've had a lot on your plate though!

I think you need to give yourself a break. The people I know who have learned a new skills etc are either single or furloughed, or often both. I have two kids under 3 and both DH and I work full time. We’re busier than we’ve ever been just trying to stay sane.

There's more than one way of being useful. You say you haven't done anything useful, but I bet you can't say that you haven't made at least one person happy. Even if it was just smiling at them in the street, or checking in on someone, or forwarding a funny cat picture (whichever one is most applicable). Even if it was doing something for yourself. If any year has highlighted the value of kindness, it's 2020. Who's to say that you haven't been doing something "useful", just by being yourself?

Same op. I've been working the whole way through and have achieved very little except put on (even more) weight. I cba to stress about it.

Thinking about it, I would probably count as one of your successful people OP. This year I've got lost weight, got fit, got promoted, learned new skills - I could write quite the LinkedIn profile.

But being honest ... I lost the weight and became healthy out of sheer terror of getting sick, and I still worry more than most about it probably. I learned new skills because I just had to distract myself somehow, I don't have kids. I got the new job after my lovely, dependable and friendly manager left. And I'm pretty much borderline agoraphobic these days.

I don't think the winners are all winning as much as you'd think!

Meh! On paper, I've had an epiphany and quit a job that made me miserable. All wonderful from the outside.

The reality has been my sister died. I've spent most of the year at home. Working. Tearing my hair out with two kids. Eating a lot. Same as most people really. Its been shit really.

I think surviving this complete clusterfuck of a year is an achievement in itself, so well done for making it through!

I dont know anyone who's gone on a massive self development journey. It's been mainly paying the rent, stresses of working/not working, health issues, bereavement, trying to parent, bloody crap really.

This feels a lot like looking at what other instagrammers have and being a but jealous. They might have failed a hundred times. Argued every day. Had a mental breakdown that only crochet could help with.

Frankly you should be proud of yourself for merely surviving! It’s actually a massive achievement considering that many people are really struggling right now.

I've done fuck all except gain about 2 stone (which I definitely did not need to gain). You're not alone. Sounds like you've had a tough year, give yourself a break. 2021 will be better

In the nicest possible way, stop looking at Instagram. The “banana bread lockdown club” is the minority. Most of us have dragged ourselves through this year and made it by the skin of our teeth. I think still having a roof over your head and food in the cupboard at the end of it is enough.

@larrythelizard

I think surviving this complete clusterfuck of a year is an achievement in itself, so well done for making it through!

This is so true. I’ve had a bout of serious ill health this year (not Covid-related) and I’m just pleased to have made it through the year with my sanity intact. My house is in a shocking state (though improving), my finances have taken a major hit, it’s been tough on my kids too. But we’ve made it - well almost! - and that’s enough to celebrate in my book.

@bearlyactive’s post really struck a chord with me. So many people have been lovely to me this year while I’ve been having treatment. They might not think that their quick text or offer of help meant anything to me, but I’ve felt so supported.

Making it through this year more or less in one piece is an achievement. Personally I never knew I was so resilient, and I dare to suggest that you’re very resilient too.