To be disappointed I've not used 2020 to do something useful

[Alonelonelyloner]

Just that really. So many people have achieved so much. They crocheted whole wardrobes, they've learnt to speak Japanese, they've volunteered at food banks, they've lost 4 stone and run a virtual marathon.

I've achieved precisely fuck all. I've worked my arse off, separated from my husband, and made my kids miserable.
Is it too late to manage a Covid19 life-changer?????

Good grief! I'm actually quite teary now.
I totally wasn't expecting that response. You have all been so kind and supportive. And sensible. Thank you so much for sharing your non-crocheting pandemic experiences! I really just looked at myself and my 60 hr weeks and my STBExH and stressed out kids and felt despair. I need to stop this self-absorption and worry. I am healthy. My kids are healthy. We survived!

I'll crochet in 2021!!! And lose 2 stone. And get anew job.

If you want to do those things next year then you definitely should, they're all achievable - but you have worth and value right here right now without them. All that stuff is just window dressing, it wouldn't necessarily make you happy or fix your problems.

The bigger thing is probably to be kinder to yourself and see your amazing value right now. You sound like a great mum who works hard and has been through a hell of a year

You've made some massive changes, it seems to me, and look - there's almost a week left. Plenty of time to learn to crocet or dance a tango or grasp the rudiments of Serbo-Croat. Probably not all three, though!

@Alonelonelyloner

Just that really. So many people have achieved so much. They crocheted whole wardrobes, they've learnt to speak Japanese, they've volunteered at food banks, they've lost 4 stone and run a virtual marathon.

I've achieved precisely fuck all. I've worked my arse off, separated from my husband, and made my kids miserable.
Is it too late to manage a Covid19 life-changer?????

Leaving a bad marriage is quite an achievement, tbh.

I have Long Covid and lost my dad suddenly in January so have spent this year just surviving. It's enough ... for now. We'll see what happens in 2021 but I have literally no expectations. Be kind to yourself OP, sounds like you've had a tough year too.

@Treeerex

Meh! On paper, I've had an epiphany and quit a job that made me miserable. All wonderful from the outside.

The reality has been my sister died. I've spent most of the year at home. Working. Tearing my hair out with two kids. Eating a lot. Same as most people really. Its been shit really.

Oh hell, Treerex, that’s so hard. Much sympathy.

But you haven't killed your husband and you've kept your kids alive.... just saying...

It’s been a really tough year. I now have the attention span of a gnat. Furlough left me anxious. I have achieved precisely nothing of note. But I have survived. My little family and I have made it to the end of the year. My roast potatoes were good today. It’s enough.

I deleted social media for the very reason that I was getting depressed I wasnt achieving anything during Covid. Especially when I innocently said to DH isn't your sister doing well (as she looked so happy, productive and successful on social media) he told me she sent him a message earlier saying this was the worst she's ever felt in her life and DH was very worried about her. So that did it for me. Social media really can be a complete sham. Got a rid of it so I can ring people up to see how they really are and talk to them, which funnily enough I think is an achievement as have strengthened bonds etc, even though I didn't set out to achieve anything.
Try not to compare to others, just keep trying the best in your own world every day.

But you haven't killed your husband and you've kept your kids alive.... just saying...

@rhowton HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

thanks! That did make me smile. I've only just succeeded at the former. There's still time to fail...

I'm so sorry that people are suffering great loss this year. I'm sorry @Treeerex . Truly.

There are so many wise words here. Thanks so much. I'm writing resolutions, with kindness, today.