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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it doesn't take much to text 'thank you'.

62 replies

DorisDaisyMay · 25/12/2020 20:35

Do you think its odd when you get presents for people and they don't contact you to say thank you?

Especially, if they have had time to text Happy Christmas today.

OP posts:
Wherediditgo · 25/12/2020 20:35

YANBU - the should say thank you.

OverTheRainbow88 · 25/12/2020 20:39

Maybe they’ve not opened them
Yet

Whostoblame · 25/12/2020 20:39

Not at all. Nephew never bothered to say thanks, I'm still waiting on the thanks from last Xmas too. I just pride myself on the fact that my daughter who is much younger is far more polite

MeredithGreysScalpel · 25/12/2020 20:39

Maybe when they sent the happy Christmas text they hadn’t opened the present. Maybe they’ll be writing a thank you note rather than a text. Maybe they’ll text tomorrow. Maybe they’ll call you when they think it’s a more convenient time.

I agree it’s rude not to say thank you - but it’s still Christmas Day, I think you need to chill out a bit.

Original poster
DorisDaisyMay · 25/12/2020 20:40

I am sitting here thinking it is so odd. It almost wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't text me Happy Christmas at all today - as I would have just imagined that they were busy with their families.

But this is three people. So its not even just one. I said thank you to them for their presents to me this morning via text.

OP posts:
Original poster
DorisDaisyMay · 25/12/2020 20:44

I think because I am a gift giver and I really put a lot of thought and time into these sorts of things, that I have to remind myself, that the gift is for them regardless of the response I get. Otherwise it is a gift with expectations.

My father-in-law has a saying ' give a lot, expect a little and you won't be disappointed! And I have found that to be true time and time again.

OP posts:
KindKylie · 25/12/2020 20:47

We only open immediate family presents on Christmas day as after the excitement of stockings, the dc get overwhelmed easily. I also don't want to force them into open present after present and not taking time to appreciate the gifts they've already received. We do a second round of extended family and friends' gifts on boxing day, so I wouldn't be thanking everyone today.

sakura06 · 25/12/2020 20:47

Did they definitely receive the gifts? I know quite a few people in my family have sent things which haven't arrived yet. The postal system is quite delayed.

GlowingOrb · 25/12/2020 20:47

I haven’t texted because I will be writing proper cards with expressions of gratitude sometime in the next few days.

PJsEveryday · 25/12/2020 20:52

Friend received her presents last week as she texted to say she'd received them. Today I got a happy Christmas text. And as per usual, no mention of her gifts. And as apparently mine are stuck in the post, I couldn't thank her for mine yet . Um pretty annoyed about it as she does this every year. Its very rude.

Original poster
DorisDaisyMay · 25/12/2020 20:53

I drove around for 2.5 hours the other day delivering them -so I know they all got them. I don't know if they have opened them yet...maybe they haven't and they do something similar to Kindkylie.

It would be lovely if I were to get a 'Thank you card' in a few days time, - that sounds lovely Glowing Orb.

I think I need to go and breathe out 'peace and love to everyone' a few times!!

OP posts:
CarriesFlower82 · 25/12/2020 20:56

We haven't opened a lot of our presents yet. DC are totally overwhelmed and we still have loads left from relatives! I will text thank you when we've opened them.

Also, Christmas day is busy with cooking and friends and family (this year lots of calls and Zoom chats instead of the usual popping in or trip to the pub). A people are busy. Wait a few days and I am sure you will get a thank you.

Original poster
DorisDaisyMay · 25/12/2020 20:59

Thank you, I am sure I will.

It is a busy day and I am not the most important person in their lives (if I could do a lauging emoji I would).

I do love a mumsnet thread as it gives a bit of time and space to reframe and readjust insead of just going up my own arse.

OP posts:
katy1213 · 25/12/2020 21:02

Texting to say happy Christmas isn't exactly pushing the boat out with goodwill! Surely it wouldn't kill people to pick up the phone to convey good wishes and thanks, with a follow-up letter a few days later.
But not thanking at all is appalling - I just wouldn't bother next year.

ladygracie · 25/12/2020 21:02

I have only opened family gifts today as I am on my own tomorrow so I have saved some for then as I’m always a bit down so though it would cheer me up. This means I haven’t thanked those people as I haven’t opened the gifts yet. I will text as soon as I open them though.

DressingGownofDoom · 25/12/2020 21:03

None of the family I gave presents to have sent a thank you. I like to think our loving relationship transcends politeness Xmas Grin

umpteennamechanges · 25/12/2020 21:05

I'd expect to say thank you but not necessarily on the same day!

They might not have opened them when they texted you earlier.

A thank you within a few days is perfectly reasonable.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 25/12/2020 21:05

Did they thank you when you delivered them?

Heyahun · 25/12/2020 21:05

Surprisingly not everyone always has their phone on them! Maybe they just want a phone free day and to enjoy themselves without needing to send fucking thank you texts all day 😂

JammyDodgersandPeas · 25/12/2020 21:05

I sent lots of Merry Christmas messages this morning, but the kids didn't even start opening presents from friends and family til 3ish, then we had Zoom calls with various grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins and it was bedtime by the time we finished! I've text most people as we've gone on but will be writing thank you cards from tomorrow. It's a busy day!!

Twobrews · 25/12/2020 21:10

We only open FC gifts and gifts from whoever's in the house on Christmas Day. All the others get opened on Boxing Day.

MeringueCloud · 25/12/2020 21:11

I don't think you should be expecting people to text thank yous today. As other people have said, they might prefer to write or phone, or text later.

Awrite · 25/12/2020 21:11

I do wish you would all stop buying gifts for people who don't say thank you and then quietly seethe about it.

ZigZaggyZoo · 25/12/2020 21:18

What's your relationship with them? And what did they reply to your text this morning?

Dopeyduck · 25/12/2020 21:20

Haven’t messaged anyone to say thanks for DS gifts yet for multiple reasons

  1. I prefer to send cards instead of texts
  2. he was totally OTT and had a ridiculous amount of presents so I we’ve saved lots for tomorrow so it’s not so overwhelming
  3. I’ve been busy, cooking, chasing a 1 year old about, etc
  4. I’ve spent half the day on FaceTime / phone to family we haven’t seen etc

YABU it’s Christmas Day - perhaps they’ll text tomorrow. If they’re persistently rude then stop investing time and money into gifts that aren’t appreciated.