Hair in Yuletide log is the final straw

[Aibuuuu]

I’m currently a sahm, worked all my life full time, currently at home with toddler Dd until
she starts nursery in September.
Dp works Mon-Fri-8-6 and a couple of Saturdays. He worked up until Xmas Eve.
Because he was working the majority of the time, I organised everything for Christmas, planning, buying, wrapping all presents which I knew she’d adore, organising and implementing all Dds Xmas activities, planning, buying, cooking Christmas Eve meal, breakfast, lunch and full Christmas dinner today etc etc.
Dp finished at lunch yesterday, went for a three hour lunch with work, whilst I dealt with a teething Dd. He came home to the Christmas Eve meal, I sorted her for bed and he just had to put the presents downstairs.
He spent the whole day today complaining he’s tired, whilst he sat on the sofa with his phone, occasionally playing with Dd, whilst I made dinner etc etc. We sat down to eat the dessert (a homemade chocolate log I did with Dd) As he was cutting it, it had one of my long hairs in it by accident. I realise a hair in food is gross, I’m still suffering the after effects of covid from March and my hair is coming out more than usual, which he knows and is really upsetting to me.
The look of disgust on his face over discovering the hair was just horrible.
Aibu just to feel upset that I put such a huge effort in (which I love doing so no being a martyr here) and to have no appreciation whatsoever.
My Dd is running around wanting to play with only her dad all day, probably because she doesn’t see him much, but still he’s always the hero.
Dp then said should we take Dd and dog for a walk, I said I’m really tired (was up all night with crying, teething Dd) he retorted that so was he but it was for them and doing things for them..! (As if that’s what I haven’t been doing 🤷🏻‍♀️)
I basically did Christmas and always do and it counts for sweet fa.

Definitely scale it back if it's too much. Personally I don't think looking after one kid and cooking a few meals, wrapping a few presents is that awful while your DP is doing a 50 hour working week but if its too much for you then don't do it. I'm sure your DD won't care if she's eating a home made yule log or not.

@BritWifeinUSA I expected him to just perhaps understand that it’s also work at home (I’ve done both and find working much easier than being home with a toddler) I understand it’s work for him an appreciate that, I’d like my efforts to be appreciated too and the hair reaction felt like a real snub.

I also cook from scratch everyday, today was much more as is all the sides etc

@SuperCaliFragalistic It wasn’t just ‘Wrapping a few presents and cooking a few meals’
As said above, I’ve worked the 50 hours too and as a toss up between that and being at home with a toddler and doing basically every other thing that needs doing with no space mentally or physically and a teething toddler with the tantrums etc that can come along with jt, going to work and returning home to have to do nothing, going to work is much easier imo.

[quote Aibuuuu]@Eckhart I don’t do it for the recognition at all, it’s definitely my choice and I realise I don’t have to, but it’s important to me to make things really special for Dd. I don’t need the recognition, however I guess after all that, I don’t need the disgusted face either, by him doing that, it just felt like ‘Ah fuck it then’[/quote]
Have you talked to him about it?

You need some time off. It’s difficult with tiers but even a walk and then some time spent in the car with a magazine, book and hot chocolate is better than being at home surrounded with all the usual.
So explain you want to do that - alone - between now and New Year and that he will be on DD and dog duty.
It will do you good.

You're focusing on the wrong thing

Do was disgusted at finding my hair in his food. How dare he when I've given up my career for a few years to do all the cooking and cleaning and childcare whilst he's often out with his friends and never thanks me for my hard work.

It isn't about the hair