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Original poster

Urgent - child’s skin irritated/bleeding from flea bites

104 replies

Cocacolathanks · 25/12/2020 13:47

Hey everyone,

Hope everyone is enjoying Christmas! Just a quick question for anyone with pets or experience with flea bites on kid’s skin.

My nephew (I just found out today) has been badly bitten on his bum/back by the cat’s fleas. The cat has been given to a shelter (the family was not really in a state to care for it properly so thankfully they agreed to rehome it, much better for the cat too) but the house has not been professionally treated.

My nephew’s skin is badly irritated. Scabs, open bleeding scabs, itchiness and dry patches. I’ve advised them to contact a GP immediately of course.

However, does anyone have any experience that could help? I was going to suggest camomile for the itchiness but don’t want to risk further issues.

Also, the house definitely needs pest control, doesn’t it?

Hoping someone can offer some advice! I’ve also rung up the local pharmacy, just waiting for them to ring back.

Thank you and merry Christmas Flowers

OP posts:
Serin · 26/12/2020 22:24

....and your dad, as a GP, saw no reason to safeguard either Confused?
The poor kid.
He needs a room of his own.
He needs to be clean.
He needs not to have his pets taken away from him.
Being rich means nothing.
Being "eccentric" is no excuse either.
Kids have died through malnutrition in this country, at the hands of incompetent parents, who, whilst they loved them, neglected them.
Stop enabling the lazy feckers and tell them they either sort this out now, or you will be referring to social services.
Are they addicts by any chance?

Original poster
Cocacolathanks · 26/12/2020 22:36

@Serin why would he ask about safeguarding based purely on scabies/fleas? Even the pharmacist who has nothing to do with them didn’t raise any concerns. In fact the child’s dad mentioned that the pharmacist said this issue ‘doesn’t have anything to do with hygiene’ which I found surprising.

They’re definitely not addicts! They’re actually quite religious and ‘herbal/nature’ inclined, whatever the hell that means.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cocacolathanks · 26/12/2020 22:36

@Xiaoxiong I will mention the housekeeper option too, thank you

OP posts:
LeSangeEstDansLarbre · 26/12/2020 22:47

I think that they’re unlikely to get rid of the pests in the house if it’s as cluttered as you say - how could they be sure to reach the skirtings and corners with a hoover if they’re as messy as it sounds? It seems to me that this infestation is a symptom of the way they live, and a warning that the wheels could very well be coming off their lives. I would consider it a kindness to get social services involved before things get even worse. My eyebrows are in my hairline at some of the things you’ve mentioned, and I am the farthest thing from a pearl-clutcher that you’ll find.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 26/12/2020 22:49

Some of the worse neglect I’ve witnessed is in middle class households. It masks neglect and the parents can be be very persuasive so everyone involved, professionals included, believe they have the child’s interests at heart. 9/10 they are just lazy narcissists who care more about themselves than their children.

Wbeezer · 26/12/2020 23:09

I wouldn't think scabies is always a sign of neglect, if you've no experience of it (and lots if people don't these days) it could take a while to realise what was going on. DS3s girlfriend had to get treated as scabies went round her (clean modern) student flat. If they failed to complete the treatment and let it get worse without doing anything that would be neglect and they definitely need to be encouraged to sort him out a room of his own.
My Dad was a GP with an interest in dermatology, he once showed me a scabies mite under a microscope as he thought I'd find it interesting. He always used to be pleased he'd identified scabies, people never seemed to realise what it was and he glad to have sorted out the highly irritating problem for them, he certainly didn't act as disgusted and judgemental as some if the posters on this thread.

Serin · 26/12/2020 23:22

Cocacolathanks
"Why would he ask about safeguarding based purely on scabies/fleas".
Have you really not listened to a word anyone has said?
Because scabies and fleas is a red flag for neglect. Even without the additional info about the poor lad sharing his parents bed and not even having his own bedroom.
You do realise that on a child protection visit the social workers would want to see the childs room. To check that all is appropriate/private/clean.
This kid doesn't even have a bed.
Anyone can be unlucky and get flea bites but scabies and flea bites at the same time?
They need to take him to his own GP who can build up a picture. Assuming he even has a GP?

Beamur · 26/12/2020 23:23

It's not just the scabies that people are voicing concerns about.
They're not necessarily bad people, but their lifestyle is chaotic and that is causing problems.

Santaisreel · 26/12/2020 23:23

I wouldn't think scabies is always a sign of neglect, if you've no experience of it (and lots if people don't these days) it could take a while to realise what was going on.

Did you read the OP?

My nephew’s skin is badly irritated. Scabs, open bleeding scabs, itchiness and dry patches

You are correct that having scabies in itself isn't indicative of neglect, but the condition of the child's skin absolutely is.

Wbeezer · 26/12/2020 23:24

You've said he's showered with attention and doted on, is bought plenty of clothes, is cooked evening meals, laundry is done and dishes are washed, just not put away properly. The only thing that crosses a line IMO is the sleeping arrangements.
They dont sound like ideal parents for sure but I'm a bit dubious about thinking social services would be interested. The school nurse service might be interested but its a bit minimal for high school aged kids. Its good you are keeping an eye on him though.

Rainallnight · 26/12/2020 23:31

Poor child.

Is he clean? Does he get teased at school?

Wbeezer · 26/12/2020 23:36

I think scabies and fleas can be a red flag for neglect but arent always a red flag for neglect, thats like saying nits are a red flag for neglect, its unnecessarily stigmatising to treat such conditions with exagerrated horror. They need to be dealt with without drama or any language that could cause a child to feel ashamed or embarrassed.

Santaisreel · 26/12/2020 23:37

I * think scabies and fleas can be a red flag for neglect but arent always a red flag for neglect, thats like saying nits are a red flag for neglect, its unnecessarily stigmatising to treat such conditions with exagerrated horror. They need to be dealt with without drama or any language that could cause a child to feel ashamed or embarrassed.*

It's the fact that they have not been dealt with and op has had to step in that is the red flag for neglect. Not the bites/scabies alone.

Covidrelapse · 26/12/2020 23:40

The more you post the more it sounds like neglect (a form of abuse) due to home conditions. Poor kid. Can you talk to the parents about home conditions?

Rainallnight · 26/12/2020 23:46

I’m going to bed feeling really quite upset about this kid.

CrocodilesCry · 26/12/2020 23:53

OP this is a totally abnormal way for a 12 year old boy to live.

Speak to the parents. If they cannot or will not provide with his own room and a clean home you need to call social services.

It's ridiculous frankly that you're not seeing the problems here.

Wbeezer · 26/12/2020 23:55

@Santaisreel i dont disagree that it could be neglect in this case but i do disagree with the blanket statement by a PP that said scabies is a red flag.

Original poster
Cocacolathanks · 27/12/2020 00:12

I feel like a few posters are almost blaming me for not ‘recognising neglect’ and honestly that’s really upset me tonight. I’ve known this kid since he was 6; it was originally my DP who was the godparent as his own parents were good friends with this family. I was introduced to the family and honestly I couldn’t live the way they do but I’ve always done 100% what I can to keep an eye on the kid because I know things can slip through cracks and worsen.

This family’s lifestyle is chaotic, definitely. It’s not ideal. I am not particularly fond of the parents if I am truly honest, but I stay in touch because of the 12yo. I genuinely remember being so put off by him when he was younger because his parents let him do ANYTHING. Games, junk, screens, shoes, money, etc. It was insane.

He’s grown to be a polite kid and he has many friends (he talks to me about high school). He looks clean - always in clean clothes, face washed, etc. He’s a cute kid too, he has those big red round cheeks and he’s definitely a healthy weight. Honestly I’ve indirectly spoken to his parents in the past about his weight/junk too because he was getting chubby fast and binging on burgers after school. Growing boys need food, I know, but I felt like there could be healthier options.

His room issue has been ongoing. They tried getting him to sleep on a sofa bed last year in a separate room but I think he found it difficult because of the lack of routine. He falls asleep whenever he’s tired, no limit on screens, video games with crazy bright lights and hyperactivity.

Maybe neglect is the right word but i think it’s more about the lack of organisation and chaos. Even when I mentioned the weight issue, the parents were almost offended, as if I thought I was better than them.

And it’s not that they didn’t acknowledge the fleas/scabies, it’s just that they expected it to get better with some eczema cream and cheap Wilko flea spray. When I told them about scabies and how mites burrow under the skin, his mum actually cried. She told me they struggled to get proper sleep at night because of the itching. This is when I thought f*ck this, let me get help before it gets worse.

I’m not justifying their behaviour. I’m just saying with all the horrible cases of abuse and neglect in the UK, I really doubt social services would have time for a family that needs structure and routine. They’re the type to miss the last 2 weeks and first week of school because they HAVE to take him on a super long holiday every year. The kid is definitely registered with a GP.

As I said before, I’ll speak to them and see how we can get some normalcy.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cocacolathanks · 27/12/2020 00:16

Even when I told them the OTC cream my dad (the GP) mentioned, the kids dad bought 2 tubes outright. He paid extra for different brands. This is what I mean. I feel like they do mean well and love their child but they seem to have gotten into a very chaotic lifestyle that they have not managed to come out from. I will suggest they seek help and support for the sake of their boy.

OP posts:
ragged · 27/12/2020 00:26

Cat flea eggs can go dormant for years. Indorex doesn't kill the eggs, only larvae/adult fleas. The parents need to deeply vacuum then spray the Indorex thoroughly then leave it 3 days to kill off things. After that they vacuum lightly for a while (sounds like this will be the easy part for them).

It doesn't sound like these parents will be good at thorough floor cleaning or spraying the Indorex all around, tbh. I don't know how involved you are OP, but you might need to be the person who sorts out the fleas...

problem is it doesn't sound like fleas. I grew up in flea infested households & what you're describing is beyond what I had as reactions to bites (even though I can react pretty badly to flea bites). I hope you can support them to sort it all out.

Thelnebriati · 27/12/2020 00:30

Social Services can help with support getting the house straight and parenting classes.

I suggest you stop trying to fix the situation yourself and get the kid some professional support.
He'll be starting exams in a few years, what do you think his chances will be without structure, a timetable, and somewhere of his own to study?

Original poster
Cocacolathanks · 27/12/2020 00:37

@Thelnebriati you’re right. Thank you. And to the PPs. You’re all right.

OP posts:
Serin · 27/12/2020 00:54

This is why it is a bad idea for GPs to get involved with diagnosing and treating patients that arent registered with them.
There will be no records kept.
No chance for a wider picture to be developed.
Ok it's "only" scabies AND flea bites, but if I let my dogs skin get into a condition where it was scabby and bleeding, I'd fully expect a lecture from the vet and possibly a visit from animal welfare.
And I have had stern lectures from the vet when the dog put on too much weight Blush but we arent allowed to mention this if it's a child?
I know you are trying your best OP, but you need to tell these incompetent idiots that they need to up their game.

caringcarer · 27/12/2020 00:59

I thought kids can get scabies if their bedding I'd not changed frequently enough. All bedding should be washed in a hot wash. Could the poor cat with fleas have been on child's bed and parents not changed sheets? Cats are so easy to care for, feed, flea and worm once a month. If they can't do that they will never cope with getting rid of fleas. I feel so sorry for the poor cat and poor child. Some people should not have pets or children if not prepared to look after them properly.

caringcarer · 27/12/2020 01:05

Neglect is a recognised form of abuse. This needs to be reported so that SS can keep an eye on this poor child. Could be bed bugs and if so house will need fumigation. If the mother has it too they can't be cleaning the house property. You should report this to protect the child.