Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Am I right to feel upset or AIBU?

68 replies

B15Girl · 24/12/2020 20:00

All four members of my family have Covid. I am the only one with symptoms and I have never felt this ill ever. I have a very high temp 40.4, cough, aches, no sense of taste or smell and I feel dreadful. We are obviously self isolating and can’t go out. I asked my FIL if I could borrow his oxygen metre as my breathing is shallow, the kind you clip on the end of your finger. He said of course, I’ll leave it on your doorstep. A bit later he called DH to say my SIL had got it because her partner is very worried about Covid and uses it regularly and they weren’t prepared to hand it over. This is the same man who wouldn’t go for a rapid test before spending Christmas Day with the elderly in-laws. He is assuming that as my SIL qualifies for a weekly test if she is negative so is he. Meanwhile 3 of us actually with Covid and me having shallow breaths and struggling to get my breath whilst walking up the stairs don’t need it according to him. My 80 year old FIL braved town on Xmas Eve to try and get us one but couldn’t find one. I think he is cross. We have now ordered one but it doesn’t arrive until the 29th.

AIBU to be p*ed off that they wouldn’t let me have it when I’m struggling. It isn’t even theirs.

OP posts:

AnotherVice · 26/12/2020 22:21

I wouldn't have given a shit whether the paramedic who attended thought they should have been sat around in the ambulance station
I could actually laugh at that it's so bloody inaccurate. We are refused toilet breaks we are that busy, don't stop for 10hrs+ even for a drink or something to eat, risking our lives for about £18k a year, late off every shift, abused and assaulted daily. Sat around the ambulance station indeed. You have no bloody idea at all.

PawPawNoodle · 27/12/2020 01:46

@AnotherVice

I wouldn't have given a shit whether the paramedic who attended thought they should have been sat around in the ambulance station I could actually laugh at that it's so bloody inaccurate. We are refused toilet breaks we are that busy, don't stop for 10hrs+ even for a drink or something to eat, risking our lives for about £18k a year, late off every shift, abused and assaulted daily. Sat around the ambulance station indeed. You have no bloody idea at all.

You helpfully cropped out the rest of the paragraph to suit your narrative however judging by your attitude on this thread I'm not surprised. This isn't about how overworked you are or whether you get enough time to meet your needs (take this up with your trust/union/manager) it is about you believing that patients are not worthy of attendance unless they meet your arbitrary threshold. If 111 sends a paramedic, then you go. It is not your decision who is worthy of help. Get a new job if you hate it so much.

MsMarple · 27/12/2020 07:26

‘I work front line in the ambulance service, all we are doing at the moment is going from Covid positive patient to Covid positive patient just to 'check them out'

The person that I know who works for the ambulance service was telling me this week about sad cases where people have left it too late to call for help. Please call 111 at least if you are struggling to breath, and let professionals advise you.

ohgetoveryourself · 27/12/2020 07:44

Yadnbu btw you can buy inhalable oxygen on Amazon next day delivery. Hope you feel better soon

SycamoreGap · 27/12/2020 08:04

@ohgetoveryourself

Yadnbu btw you can buy inhalable oxygen on Amazon next day delivery. Hope you feel better soon

Please don’t do this. If you are that unwell with COVID that you need oxygen then you need to see a doctor.

WanderingHopefully · 27/12/2020 09:44

@ohgetoveryourself

Yadnbu btw you can buy inhalable oxygen on Amazon next day delivery. Hope you feel better soon

What a stupid idea. If you are breathless and it's concerning, ring 111, don't order oxygen from Amazon.

The breathlessness is horrible isn't it, and for one of my DC, the fear it caused resulted in even more breathlessness. There's a technique for helping with this, which is to find a rectangle in the room eg a picture or window. Breathe in through your nose following a short side of the rectangle with your eyes, then out through your mouth following a long side. Repeat to complete the rectangle, then keep doing until you feel calm and less breathless. Also, sleeping sitting up slightly helps with night time breathlessness.

If you aren't able to hold a conversation without getting breathless, or feel breathless at rest, do phone for advice won't you.

AlternativePerspective · 27/12/2020 09:51

There is some really dangerous advice on this thread.

Buying oxygen on amazon is a spectacularly bad idea and may in fact be dangerous. You have no idea what you’re buying. It isn’t licenced for medical use, and oxygen is incredibly flammable and dangerous to have in the home unless for approved medical purposes.

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 27/12/2020 09:55

Very selfish. Father in law should have just demanded it back. It's his. He should do this even though you've ordered one.

HikeForward · 27/12/2020 10:02

Definitely don’t buy oxygen from Amazon!

But an Oxygen Sats monitor is a good idea. They don’t need to be hospital grade but they’ll give you an idea of your blood oxygen levels and if they’re dropping.

Covid causes breathlessness, that’s normal.
If your SATS drop below 95 or your HR goes over 100 at rest it’s time to call 111.

Hope you feel better soon OP!

Wandafishcake · 27/12/2020 10:41

Really I don’t think any of you should have it - presumably FIL needs it?
Your SIL is selfish, but in your shoes I’d call 111 anyway.

Original poster

B15Girl · 28/12/2020 11:32

Update. I was really poorly at about 10pm on Christmas Day. Went upstairs to put my pyjamas on and couldn’t breathe, my temp was 40.4 and my heart was racing, I was scared. I called 111 and they sent the paramedics. They were amazing. They confirmed my temperature, my heart rate was high and my oxygen level was borderline. They gave me the option of going in or sitting it out at home. I stayed at home. They recommended I get an oximetre , told them we had one on order due on 29th. They said we needed it sooner really. DH told FIL what had happened and he tried again to get is back from SIL but apparently her partner is very anxious and uses it a lot. So that’s a no! Unbelievable. Anyway, ours turned up last night so I can monitor away. This morning it was 89 which scared me but an hour later it was 93. Paramedics said under 90 I need to call them. I still feel absolutely rubbish and it is going to take some getting over, but I will never forgive my SIL and her partner for being so selfish and I will never forget it. Thank you for your support, good to know I wasn’t being unreasonable. Now to try to recover from this stupid virus. PS FIL is feeling so awkward about this, not his fault he’s been trying for us.

OP posts:

Backbee · 28/12/2020 12:07

You still had no entitlement to it, if BIL uses it however irrational you find that then it's fair enough. You aren't owed anything.

Mittens030869 · 28/12/2020 12:33

@Backbee

Aren’t you a charmer?? The oxygen monitor belongs to the FIL not the SIL, haven’t you picked that up?

You’re not the one struggling for breath as a result of Covid. I was in the OP’s situation in March and it’s totally scary. We had paramedics around a couple of times when my oxygen levels were low and I was struggling for breath.

I didn’t have an oxygen SATS monitor. But I would have asked if a family member had one, and I would have been hurt if they had responded the way the SIL and her partner did.

I’m glad you have one now, OP, and I hope you start to feel better soon.

AtrociousCircumstance · 28/12/2020 12:41

Yeah I wouldn’t forget or forgive that either OP. Astonishing selfishness.

londongirl12 · 28/12/2020 13:25

So is she your DH's sister?

elsaesmeralda · 28/12/2020 13:43

Glad you're feeling okay op. Can't believe the selfishness of some people.
Glad the paramedics were nice and didn't think you was wasting anyone's time, the post above has made me wonder what some paramedics must really be thinking sometimes!

Original poster

B15Girl · 28/12/2020 17:12

@Backbee

You still had no entitlement to it, if BIL uses it however irrational you find that then it's fair enough. You aren't owed anything.

The monitor belongs to my FIL who was more than happy for me to borrow it but my SIL went to their house and took it and now refuses to let me use it despite neither her or her partner having no breathing issues at all. If FIL said no that would have been the end of it but luckily he is lovely man who was put in an awkward spot by his DD. I didn’t want to make it anymore difficult for him so we do now have our own but for 4 days, when I was initially started struggling I didn’t have one. He even went into town on Xmas eve to try and get us one he felt so bad.

As for being entitled I never said I was entitled to it, he was happy to lend it to me in my hour of need like nice families do. And as for not being owed anything, we are family, we owe it to each other to be nice, support each other through tough times and we usually do which is why this has upset me so much.

OP posts:

caringcarer · 28/12/2020 20:05

Please, please seek professional help. Covid is known to deprive people of oxygen until they struggle to breathe. You should be in bed not walking about up and down the stairs. Please call 111 and tell them your temperature and struggling to breathe. In hospital they could give you oxygen to make you more comfortable. I would never speak to BiL or Sil again if they did that to me. They are incredibly selfish, and you sound so very Ill.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread