Am I right to feel upset or AIBU?

[B15Girl]

All four members of my family have Covid. I am the only one with symptoms and I have never felt this ill ever. I have a very high temp 40.4, cough, aches, no sense of taste or smell and I feel dreadful. We are obviously self isolating and can’t go out. I asked my FIL if I could borrow his oxygen metre as my breathing is shallow, the kind you clip on the end of your finger. He said of course, I’ll leave it on your doorstep. A bit later he called DH to say my SIL had got it because her partner is very worried about Covid and uses it regularly and they weren’t prepared to hand it over. This is the same man who wouldn’t go for a rapid test before spending Christmas Day with the elderly in-laws. He is assuming that as my SIL qualifies for a weekly test if she is negative so is he. Meanwhile 3 of us actually with Covid and me having shallow breaths and struggling to get my breath whilst walking up the stairs don’t need it according to him. My 80 year old FIL braved town on Xmas Eve to try and get us one but couldn’t find one. I think he is cross. We have now ordered one but it doesn’t arrive until the 29th.

AIBU to be p*ed off that they wouldn’t let me have it when I’m struggling. It isn’t even theirs.

I am not struggling to breathe but it is shallow and I will call for advice if it gets worse . I’m glad everyone thinks she’s selfish and it’s not just me. The boyfriend is worse, he has landed on his feet with SIL, lives in a big house with her which she will eventually inherit, lords it up whilst doing virtually nothing for a living. I think my in laws are scared of them, they never stand up to them and they boss them around. To the point when I offered to do shopping for them my MIL said she’d better not a SIL was doing it and she didn’t want to upset her. A plus side of having Covid is that we can’t see them at the moment. I am halfway between angry and upset about this but that might be because I feel rubbish. I feel better for venting on here!!

This Pandemic has been prevalent here since March.
It's now December.
Why didn't you buy a pulse Oximeter for your household use before now?
Bit late to leave it until you need it.
Get well soon.

Just call 111. Don't wait til it's worse

@Wingedharpy

This Pandemic has been prevalent here since March. It's now December. Why didn't you buy a pulse Oximeter for your household use before now? Bit late to leave it until you need it. Get well soon.

Because I thought if I needed one I could borrow my FILs

Do you have a local Facebook page? I'm sure someone would bring one over to you. Does anyone in your house or nearby have a smartwatch that measures oxygen sat? www.google.com/amp/s/www.androidcentral.com/best-smartwatches-can-measure-blood-oxygen-saturation-levels%3famp

If you have a smartphone you may already have an oximeter.

Look in the fitness app (eg. 'Samsung Health') and scroll down to 'stress'. You put your finger on the sensor on the back of the phone where the camera and torch are (if one end of the panel doesn't work, try the other).

Smartphones aren't a reliable way to measure blood oxygen levels, this has been proven time and time again.

Is a member of your family able to contact SIL, maybe she doesn't realise how urgent the need is?

Does your FIL not need it himself considering he owns it?!

"Smartphones aren't a reliable way to measure blood oxygen levels, this has been proven time and time again."

Same with cheap oximeters. We're not talking hospital-level precision here, we're trying to get a general idea of how things are going and certainly direction of travel.

@AnotherVice

I am certainly not lying. There are times an 'all call' goes out because a 999 call has come in for a patient not breathing and there is no ambulance to send. There are 3 ambulance in my town tonight. My crewmate is in with another Covid positive patient right now just 'checking them out'. Leaving this advice sheet, as we have done for numerous others, and yes I'm waiting in the ambulance because it only takes one person to check someone's sats and it's an unnecessary risk for us, not to mention the PPE that we don't have enough of

The first item on your helpful advice sheet is to call for help if you have new or worsening breathing problems. It doesn't say that the patient has to be struggling/unable to breathe, simply that there are problems. I'm sorry that you are overworked however it's incredibly unprofessional and dangerous of you to advise someone on the Internet to 'urgh please don't' especially when you know nothing about the medical history or comorbidities of the OP.

OP I hope you got it sorted.

do you have a facebook? If someone I knew asked I would lend them mine until theirs came.

If you are breathless when not exerting yourself you need to seek medical advice

PolPotNoodle As long as you realise that the consequence of attending people with mild breathing problems is that there may well be nobody to send when somebody actually goes into respiratory arrest. Our resources are finite. There are 300+ outstanding calls in my trust this evening.

@AnotherVice

PolPotNoodle As long as you realise that the consequence of attending people with mild breathing problems is that there may well be nobody to send when somebody actually goes into respiratory arrest. Our resources are finite. There are 300+ outstanding calls in my trust this evening.

I realise the consequence well enough to know that you cannot be sure the patient has a mild issue until a medical professional attends to them. I had a 111 callback from a doctor a few weeks ago about my shortness of breath, we went through a breathing rate test and I was over, so was called back again after an hour later for another test and if not reduced a paramedic would have been sent to check my oxygen levels since, you know, oxygen is needed to function and generally live. Thankfully I didn't need it but if I had, I wouldn't have given a shit whether the paramedic who attended thought they should have been sat around in the ambulance station waiting for only people on the brink of death to call, because that's not what an emergency service is for and its not your call to make.

While I absolutely do think that if someone is struggling to breathe they should ring an ambulance, I have no doubt that the ambulance services have had enough of people ringing for an ambulance because “my phone/Apple Watch/pulse-ox monitor I bought off the internet says my SATS levels are low please can you come and check?”

If the OP is struggling to breathe now she should call an ambulance now not wait until she receives some device off the internet/her FIL/the random on her local facebook group.

Yes, she is being selfish. That said, is the oximeter one issued to him by a medical practitioner, or a £20 from Amazon? If it's the latter, they may not be accurate, despite the glowing reviews. Even what apoears to be a CE approval sticker on them, is actually often a 'Chinese export' mark instead, designed to trick people into thinking these are approved products.

We've all had covid, and were extremely breathless on exertion such as going up stairs. Both DH and DC ended up calling 111 due to it, and both were told as long as they could hold a conversation without becoming breathless, then it was a normal symptom of covid, scary as it is.

I hope that helps a bit and get well soon

Might be missing the point, but he isn't obliged to lend you anything, you're being cheeky expecting it. That said, hope you're feeling better.

I purchased an oximeter for myself from Amazon back in April; it's fine. Just go for one that has good reviews, will be with you within a day or so.

I am connected to an NHS organisation that needed to provide patients with oximeters for a research project; it started earlier in the year, and they were in short supply; to buy in quantity they needed to source from China.

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

I purchased an oximeter for myself from Amazon back in April; it's fine. Just go for one that has good reviews, will be with you within a day or so.

I am connected to an NHS organisation that needed to provide patients with oximeters for a research project; it started earlier in the year, and they were in short supply; to buy in quantity they needed to source from China.

The thing is though, when you really need them to work well, ie if your sats are dropping, that's when they can be most inaccurate. When your sats are normal or at the low end of normal, they will probably work fine.

Have you used a SATs monitor before? Do you know what they are usually. My DS1 has SATs that run at 94/95 anyway. If you know that yours are usually 99, then the monitor is useful, but if not, how will you know when to worry?

Oh and just to say, whether they come from China or not isn't the point, it's that the ones you buy on Amazon aren't licensed for medical use.

@Backbee

Might be missing the point, but he isn't obliged to lend you anything, you're being cheeky expecting it. That said, hope you're feeling better.

You are missing the point as the person who owns it is willing to lend it.

I would damn well ring them and challenge their selfishness on this. And tell fil you intend to do it. Take care OP and I hope you feel better soon x

Buy your own pulse oximeter, they’re not expensive and Amazon does next day delivery.

And keep an eye on your heart-rate (either via your Smartphone/FitBit or manually taking your pulse) if it’s over 100 at rest you probably need to call 111.

And again, the ones you can buy on Amazon aren't accurate if your saturations drop.