Always feel sort of forlorn at Christmas

[Chrisrear]

Does anyone else ever? Obviously, this year even more so, I adore Christmas but it often brings up a strange, sad feeling 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes I know how you're feeling. We are still ttc (been a long journey) and it still hasn't happened for us. Visiting family tomorrow which will be nice and was feeling chilled until I saw BIL's post about Christmas being all about how he can't wait to watch his son (my nephew) open gifts tomorrow. And I get it; he's a dad, for him it is all about that, and I'll be happy to see my nephew's little face light up. But the whole morning is just a reminder of what we don't have (especially as they're expecting their second). Nobody's fault and I'd never not share in their joy. It just hurts my heart a bit.

I’ve been weepy all day, then this evening heard a lovely former colleague dropped dead out of the blue earlier today. He was out playing in the snow with his dog just this morning.

Sending love to everyone who is struggling.

Christmas is an anchor in time. The same rituals, songs, food each year. It forces you to reflect on what is different, what has changed over the years and conjures up nostagia.

Christmas doesn't make me sad, it sort of comforts me, its new years eve that gets me. I feel sort of sad and panicky about the passage of time, particularly as it approaches midnight. Every single year!

I get this and don’t really know why, suppose it makes you nostalgic as PP said. I always want to take myself off for a little cry

l get massive envy when l hear of people having massive family gatherings.
@Fishfingersandwichplease
I'm one of 6 siblings, believe me, large family gatherings are not what you imagine 😂😂😂.
This year it will just be dh dd + me.

I always feel like this at New Year OP.

It's always melancholic for me.

It is sad because it marks passage of time, but it's better than the alternative. Give your heads a wobble, we are bloody lucky to have any kind of Christmas this year

I honestly feel like the run up to Christmas and looking forward to what will be is always so much better than the actual day itself. I love the whole ‘oh it’s 16 sleeps’ and Christmas films in early December then almost as soon as we start the serious prep on 23/24 it feels over already!

I was half way through making mince pies this afternoon when a song on the radio made me cry. A child I used to teach was murdered, 12 days ago. Such a pointless loss of life. I’m in my kitchen, with my children, doing all the usual Christmas Eve cooking & baking - and just wondering how on earth his dad is putting one foot in front of another. He was a lovely boy, just 12 years old. Such a sad time of year for so many people.

@coronafiona

It is sad because it marks passage of time, but it's better than the alternative. Give your heads a wobble, we are bloody lucky to have any kind of Christmas this year

Patronising and insensitive. People are entitled to feel whatever they want and voice it. We all know we are lucky, that's not what the thread is about. I'm the same tonight and I'm comforted knowing it's a common feeling

@ChequerBoard

Feeling this a bit this year too. DD18 and DS13 but feel but less like a close family Xmas this year. DD sat with us watching Paddington 2 (not planned) right now which is reminding me of times past with us all enjoying family films together.

Don't like not feeling unsure what to continue doing or not doing with them. Don't want them to feel they have to go through the motions for our sake!

Just so the same things yourself even if they groan a bit . DS is 16 and we have had a really tough year with him. He is very unwilling to do anything with us and has not really joined in with some of our Christmas traditions for several years now . Yet tonight as I have every Christmas eve since DS was little I have left a snack and drink for father Christmas and hung the Christmas key on the door handle so he can come in as we have no chimney. Tonight I told DS I was going to bed but that I'd left out the Santa snack and key and he looked at me and nodded. No irony, no rolled eyes, just an enthusiastic nod. They like the traditions even if they don't seem to.

@coronafiona You’re not understanding this thread, better not to comment.

@DecemberSun thank you for your post it helped I've sat here crying for two hours and it helped. I always get sad at Christmas but after the year we've had I think it's all coming out in tears tonight.

@bumblingbovine49
Thank you for your post this year is the first year since children were born I haven't put out Santa's mince pie and milk. Off to do it now. And the tears are flowing again.

for us

I’m so happy I found this thread. I thought it was just me.
My Mum made Christmas very special and I miss her so much.
The little children’s wonder breaks my heart, it’s so precious and fleeting. I can’t even explain it well. Just pleased to not be alone in this feeling.
I have a beautiful young family full of wonder, I’m very fortunate. It’s the whole inner child thing I think!!

@coronafiona

It is sad because it marks passage of time, but it's better than the alternative. Give your heads a wobble, we are bloody lucky to have any kind of Christmas this year

Do bugger off! This is a support thread. Nobody here needs a sanctimonious lecture from you.

Yes! My youngest (got 3) came down for a quick cuddle before bed tonight and I told him he needs to hurry up and go to sleep so santa will come and he just said oh mum I know he's not real and ran off up to bed so the magical Christmases of putting out mince pies and tracking santa and getting excited are well and truly over now 😪 I also reminisce about christmas as a child and miss those days too!

Hugs @skysports. I understand as I feel exactly the same.

I always exorcise this feeling by watching the Snowman on my own and having a cry, a week before Christmas (used to watch it with DC, they are now 16/18), it’s about the passing of time I think

DH and I have an unofficial tradition where after we get home on Christmas night, that was have a drink and talk about the ones we love who have gone and we cry.
This should be DS2s first Christmas but he was stillborn in June. I feel sad today

I am sorry @Youseethethingis

I think I feel sadder and sadder each year as I miss the milestones in life of peers (engagement,wedding, babies etc) and the reality of a lonely life which I most feared as a child is come true.

Me ! I weirdly mourn my childhood Xmas
And worry I’m not giving the same to my
Kids
I get very sentimental about my dead father
It’s totally normal

I feel the same. Hiraeth is indeed the word.

My early teens DC are still asleep and I've just realised that no-one mentioned or thought about leaving food and drink out for Santa and Rudolph last night

My mum and her mum both born Christmas Day, both no longer with me. I always feel shit at Christmas especially as my kids are older. Happy Christmas all you lovely lot 💐 Except the trolls 🖕