To be devastated that I’ve gained weight?

[foothurtlikehell]

Think NN is an old one - can’t get it to change !

I started this year off weighing about 22/23 stone following a nervous breakdown .

I’ve very slowly lost weight with strict calorie and counting and gentle exercise, got down to 20 stone, and then hit a bit of a bump in the road in September . I had a horrendous hospital appointment that brought back upsetting memories of previous trauma, and found myself having one panic attack after another .

GP wasn’t interested in why I was having the panic attacks but prescribed me propanolol and increased up my mirtazapine tablet that I take at bedtime.

Since then, I’ve gained about 3-6lb . My size 26 jeans are getting tighter again, and I’m devastated . I desperately want to be slim, I’ve always been grossly fat (since about age 6) and I’m slipping into old habits of comfort and binge eating . I’m skipping meals, and then cramming in chocolate and crap ‘because it’s Christmas’ .

I suspect it’s mainly the medication causing the weight gain but I’m so angry with myself.

It doesn’t help that I’m spending CHristmas with my grandmother - who will find a thousand ways of calling me fat, she refers to me as the ‘elephant in the room’ and openly laughs at me .

What can/should I do ? Cut the antidepressants back down is maybe the first thing !

You're still ending the year in a net loss of a couple of stone. You've done well. Take a moment to recognise your own successes.

Most of the advice on MN re dieting is utter garbage. I suggest you join the forums at MyFitnessPal, where you can hear from people who are going through the same journey as you, or who have already lost several stones and become a healthy weight. Anyone spouting garbage on that site is immediately drowned out by sensible people, so it's a safer place for weight loss than here.

You can also find your own support network on that site, and having a support network for weight loss is really important. I have my own group of weight loss buddies, and being able to talk to them about good days and bad days in an honest way has really helped me this year. Your family may be unsupportive, but you can still find support elsewhere, and that will help you a lot.

Ultimately, and you probably know this after losing a few stone, weight loss about making small, sustainable changes. It's not about changing your life overnight. You didn't become the weight you are overnight, so you have to allow your body time to lose that weight without putting too much stress on it. Take your time, get to know yourself again (when you know yourself well enough to know when you're actually hungry and not bored, that's a big victory) and most importantly, be kind to yourself.

You've done so well. Don't let one blip take that away from you. Celebrate you.

@gwenhwyfar if the op is doing walking after a period of in action, it is quite possible that this is contributing to Jean's getting tighter, given the walking is building muscle mass in her legs.

Do ask the gp to change the mirtazapine to something else. Dh was started on 45mg and we’ve had to wean him onto 15mg 🤦🏻‍♀️ Ourselves. Not everyone gets hungry on it but lots do.

Why on earth are you spending Christmas with your gran when she treats you like that??

Mirtazipine is notorious for weight gain and for carb/sugar cravings. I take it and it works well for sleep and stopping the jaw-clenching I get from my SNRI, but it makes me want to live on icecream. 🙄

Medication doesn’t cause you to gain weight, but it may increase your appetite. Could you speak to a specialist about binge eating?

[quote Student133]@gwenhwyfar if the op is doing walking after a period of in action, it is quite possible that this is contributing to Jean's getting tighter, given the walking is building muscle mass in her legs.[/quote]
I thought fat changing to muscle made you weigh more, but not be any bigger. I thought the muscle would be compact if you see what I mean. She's walking, not lifting weights or anything extreme. You don't see people with big thighs because they go hiking, do you?
Also depends whether the jeans are tight around the waist or the legs I suppose.

@Gwenhwyfar I have big thighs from walking and running!

You have done so well to lose 3 stone and I think most of us see a little increase around Xmas.

Your meds are important so keep them up.

Next time your gran says anything, address it, 'gran when you say things like that it hurts my feelings, please stop it, it makes it really unpleasant for me to spend time with you.'

I'm using MyFitnessPal and having real success with it because it makes me think about what I'm eating and account for it. I'm not going to say I never splurge, especially right now with all the chocolates, mince pies and cheese around but I can't just eat and forget it so at least I can see what I'm doing and take responsibility for what's happening on the scales.

It is harder to lose weight on some medications, so you have to be realistic with speed and goals. When you have the opportunity speak to your GP about how you're feeling and see whether they can recommend any different medication or refer you for a nutritionist. It would also be worth asking for a health MOT to check things like your sugar and hormone levels as there may be something there that could be addressed to help you to lose weight. I have PCOS and am insulin resistant, the only way I can lose weight is to restrict carbs, if I have 1200 calories of bread I don't lose weight, if I have 1200 calories of veg, meat, a little bread and dairy I do lose weight.

You've done really well this year. The recent weight gain is not that much in the grand scheme of things when you've lost around 3 stone since January.
I would suggest that:

1. You forget about the weight gain until after the Christmas holidays but make a plan now as to how you will deal with it come January.

1. You tell your Grandma the first time she makes a dig about your weight that if she does this one more time you will leave immediately and go home. And then stick to that! Why should you go round there to keep her company and do her a favour when she's just going to get at you about your weight. Do not stand for this. It's her choice - if she chooses to continue being rude to you and laughing at you then the consequences are she will be alone for a few days.

1. After Christmas you ask to see a different GP to discuss the medication and whether that may be causing weight gain and also to talk about possible therapy for the panic attacks and the reasons behind them.

1. After Christmas you continue on with whatever healthy eating/exercise plan you were doing before as that obviously is working.

2.

@GoodbyePorpoiseSpit

You would never give a stranger such a hard time as you are giving yourself I bet. Can you get another family member to check on grandma? If not could you pop in, say hi and then go home? You’re allowed to put yourself first! Also being fat isn’t an actual crime you know. You’ve not hurt anyone by being bigger, you’re not nasty or stupid or wrong in any way. This mythology around being fat all your life gives it such a huge presence but it doesn’t make you who you are. Society may have tricked us all into fat phobia but it’s objectively bullshit isn’t it? It’s not wrong to be fat! You have done nothing wrong. Being unhappy about food choices will e made worse by diets and giving yourself a hard time and by bloody grandma.

This times a billion. I might frame it.

[quote Chanandlerbong01]@Gwenhwyfar I have big thighs from walking and running![/quote]
! I've started jogging. I might have to re-consider.

I think you're a bit too nice to other people OP and not nearly nice enough to yourself. You promised family you'd spend it with her? Why? If they're so concerned why don't they spend it with her? If she's alone then maybe she should consider why no one wants to spend it with her and take responsibility for her own behaviour.

You deserve to be happy too OP, not just your gran. Why should you sacrifice your happiness for her? I would give yourself a break this Christmas, stay on your meds and eat as much chocolate as you need to get through it. Then in January you can start looking at your eating, change your meds and as your weight issues have been since you were little it might be worth having counselling to help you change your behaviour or get to the bottom of any issues that led to you over eating. Next Christmas make sure your family know it's someone else's turn to see granny xxx

Sweetheart, you have done so bloody well with the weight loss you have achieved, and by accepting help with ADs but... mirtrazipine is an absolute BASTARD. It turned me into an overeating zombie and I put on about two stone in six months. So it's not your personal failure at all, it really is a recognised side effect. I hoovered up carbs on an hourly basis, but was too knackered to actually move. It did sort of help my head a bit, but god, I just didn't stop eating for months. I was like a hungry fecking hippo.

You said you're taking mirt to help you sleep - do you think your GP would provide a prescription for actual sleeping tablets instead? So you do get a good rest without the appetite? Agree with PP about how to address the issue with family members too. 'What do you get out of saying things like that?' is another line I've found works. 'No, genuinely, just asking. I just wondered how you feel when you've said things like that to me.' If you can stay calm when you say it, it throws it right back in their lap.

I want to give you a massive hug OP.

I found that weight loss surgery was the solution for me. It isn’t for everyone and I still have to have intense therapy to stop my binge eating etc.

I do want to say that you can’t lose weight until you are in the right head space.

Good luck