Friend claiming to be key worker

[lockdownrules]

So my friend and her husband work but aren't key workers. Here in Scotland after Christmas nurseries and schools closed unless key workers.
She says she's been told she can still send child to nursery so the nursery is lying for her and claiming she's a key worker to get place. It's a council nursery.
AIBU to be annoyed my child can't get a place. My husband is a key worker but I'm not but wfh full time with a toddler and my nursery say no place! Obviously I'm just jealous but it's so unfair some can play the system like this

@lockdownrules

Not a vulnerable child. No special needs.

So dob them in at the nursery then?

Are they WFH or still going into work? That's the only real factor for me. If they have to work out of home- they need care.

I disagree. I can wfh but I'm delivering 3 hour lectures to university students. I can't do that and care for a 6 year old.... never mind homeschool.
Although, if the schools close in England I might have to find a way as we weren't classed a key workers the first time round.

Dh and I both do admin but are classes as key workers and under the new definition we’re critical workers. Pretty sure people who don’t understand my job would disagree but I work in the hospital and dh for the council. We didn’t send dc to school as dh was working from home (plus home schooling 3dc) but our days in March were spent planning additional mortuary space at the hospital and in the community and that was scary so we made the sacrifice to keep dc home. I felt very uncomfortable when a friend who was a part time school admin working from home with minimal to do (her words) sent her dc to school because her husband worked from home in his non key workers role and he struggled to have the dc around. I’d never say anything, we’re all just figuring out our families and what we need to do. Knowing what I know now, my primary dc will probably go to school.

@ClaireP20 ouch. Thanks for that. My DH is in the RN and I'm a NHS community worker. Are you saying we shouldn't have had children because of our professions? Your post is naive, simplistic and bitchy.

01:46FoxyTheFox

1. "Mild autism" simply means that you experience their autism mildly. Know why that is? Because a lot of hard work and tailored support has been done by the parents and whatever support services are involved, not to mention hard work by the child to engage with it.

Thank you for explaining this so well.

@SueEllenMishke sometimes dc appear in video calls with dh during first lockdown. The board of directors got to know our dc and used to wave and say hi. It is what it is, not ideal but nobody thought school closures was ideal.

I know someone who works in an Accounts department , defined as a key workers. For courier company. Keeping deliveries moving is key.
Her child might also be vulnerable.

@Woeismypants

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines..

Wtaf? Do your children need watching over 24/7. Scream constantly and hit out constantly? Don't sleep even with meds? None of my children whom 3 have Autism (2 with EHCPs) actually went to school during the first lockdown. It literally nearly drove me to a mental breakdown, I seriously think you need to read up and educate yourself into say 'mild autism' because there is no such thing!

@Woeismypants don't be ignorant.

My DD was kept in due to having "mild autism". Nothing about an easier life for me as her parent. I have two children with additional needs, one was better off at home, DD wasn't.

I can guarantee she is still the bottom of her class academically. She still has zero friends. Still can't read even simple things. Yes there was an element of respite but at the same time support bubbles didn't exist, we can't get out to do "daily exercise" as DD requires 1-1 at all times out of the house which proved a problem with taking her toddler sibling with us. We are also in a tiny flat.

There was absolutely nothing normal about school. The only benefit we hoped would be achieved is that with smaller class sizes and more relaxed school environment she would be less terrified of the place.

And who actually resents children with disabilities actually receiving support? Clearly have no idea how little support those children usually receive.

It’s just wrong, a genuine key worker family could be missing out or a vulnerable child. Even if they have space it should be kept open for a genuinely needed family.

The majority of children at my DCs school come from key worker families, with both parents being key workers, yet most choose to try and manage themselves during the fist lockdown, only sending their children to school when they really had to. if they hadn’t the school would not have been able to manage and they would have been forced to turn children away. As it was they were actually able to offer places for children from other schools and children they felt needed monitoring that didn’t fall in the official vulnerable category.

Your friend is being a selfish prick.

My DD is another who is awake 8am-4.30am and has incredibly violent meltdowns. It would have been a safeguarding issue for her brother to be cooped up for months in those circumstances

My husband is officially a ‘key worker’ he was furloughed for months at the start of the pandemic and although back at work, he’s been at home all December.

I work in a bank and am classed as a key worker and have my letter to prove it so it doesn't look like she's lying

Wow! Am amazed your friend knows already, given the applications only opened yesterday and have to go through the LA, with confirmation from both parents line managers contacted in writing to confirm the l1,2,3 status of the parents.

What on earth do they do during the 6 week holidays? I've often wondered what people do with their kids during the holidays. Surely they don't have to go to a nursery every day for the whole year? Makes you wonder why they have them really.

I take 3 weeks leave and dh has 3 weeks leave (one or two weeks together) and they have a week with each set of grandparents which is lovely as they are not local. Does that sound okay for you or should I give up work?

Bank staff are keyworkers.

Sorry, just read more detail. Is someone actually jealous of autistic dc “coming on leaps and bounds” during lock down. Who would begrudge a dc with autism that? This place is mad.

If banks close the country would go into meltdown. How on earth are posters surprised that banks are classed as essential.

Some finance/ bank staff are classified as key workers. We live in a village with lots of city bankers and those with children at the village school were eligible for key worker places last time (although how a private wealth investor was considered a key worker perplexed me!)

[quote m0therofdragons]@SueEllenMishke sometimes dc appear in video calls with dh during first lockdown. The board of directors got to know our dc and used to wave and say hi. It is what it is, not ideal but nobody thought school closures was ideal.[/quote]
That's fine in meetings and my DS appeared regularly during the first lockdown.

I'm talking about lectures dealing with complex concepts and theories - lectures students have paid thousands of pounds for. Regular disruptions aren't really acceptable or conducive to learning. It's hard enough teaching online without a 6 year old interrupting.

I was surprised in the first lockdown by a friend who has a key worker job that involves her wfh and a husband who was on furlough who was able to get a full time school place for her DD. But the school was open and had spare capacity and their policy allowed it, so quite fairly she used it.

If there are spare spaces perhaps she just means she was able to get first in line for one of those extra places. Presumably the nursery needs to be at full capacity to meet their costs for the staff they're having to pay to come in and work anyway?

I couldn’t use DD(then 15mo)’s one day a week nursery place last spring because I was ‘at home’. I’m a primary teacher, and had parental complaints that DD was interrupting Zoom calls.

The rules are batty.

@m0therofdragons

Sorry, just read more detail. Is someone actually jealous of autistic dc “coming on leaps and bounds” during lock down. Who would begrudge a dc with autism that? This place is mad.

Especially considering any progress made will only have been social, as schools were open for childcare not learning, and probably purely down to smaller and quieter classes.

@SueEllenMishke because dh want taking about anything complex with the exec team? I’ll let him know. Our jobs clearly aren’t high brow enough to understand (although you don’t actually know what we do).

Wasn’t not want