To want/expect a happy home/family life?

[sameday2021]

Can I have some advice? How are you all achieving a happy home? I've just had to delete Instagram and Facebook as I can't stand to see happy families leading enjoyable lives anymore!

Just went on a winter walk through a lovely wood with fairy doors. Other kids look happy, climbing on logs, taking photos etc. My kids look sullen, moaning about the mud, asking to go home. This is just one tiny example. If they are home they are sad, cross, fighting. Anywhere they go they complain.

They are age 5 and 9. The eldest is plain rude at the moment. Rude about the meals put in front of her, rude about any plans, rude about they way I talk even! They have a nice home, well provided for, nice area, nice school, kind parents, yet still most days feel miserable for them! They are happy when with their friends but not at home.

Is there a book I can read? Or any of you have tips? If things don't change they aren't going to have fond memories of their childhood and that makes me very sad!

My children moan but there has to be a cut off. They know I want to go for walks because I’m important and I get a turn. If I don’t get a turn choosing then maybe they won’t (goodbye park!) We work on them not moaning and enjoying the little things like we work on reading. Some of my friends are baffled that mine (generally) behave but they don’t see the work that goes into it!
Also try and bring snacks and drinks!

Tighten up boundaries. My DD can be a bit glass half empty, and no amount of one to one time, attention, sympathy, or whatever, makes a difference when she's decided she's in a grump. The two things that work are ignoring it to an extent (she is allowed to be a bit quiet and not feel like talking, but she is NOT allowed to be rude or refuse to answer a civil question, for example) and giving her a certain amount of time to get the moan out of her system before telling her it's time to think positive and move on to the next topic. Otherwise she enjoys a wallow a bit too much.

Now she's a teen, it's a bit trickier because I'm very conscious that bloody everything is high drama to teens, so I want to keep lines of communication open and keep an eye out for anything a bit more serious. But I will still tell her to pack it in if needs be. We're all entitled to our feelings and emotions but at the same time, putting your head down and getting on with it is an important skill and nobody can enjoy all of life all of the time, so they'd be as well learning to judge when something is worth complaining about, and when it's better just to make the best of a situation