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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ethical covid dilemma - help

111 replies

realtarmar · 21/12/2020 11:11

Sister is coming to mine for xmas lunch (within the rules) as well as neighbour in his 50s. Sister had covid symptoms very beginning of last week and tested positive a few days ago. Has had directions from the NHS saying that in keeping with 10 day iso period, she should isolate until 24th Dec. Is already feeling far better but obviously observing iso strictly.

Neighbour is not vulnerable but sister is insistent I tell him so he can make up his own mind whether he still wants to come. By the time xmas day rolls around, she will have been in iso 10 days, has a temperature device to check her temp, is fastidious and has ordered covid tests for the rest of the symptomless family - obviously if anyone else is positive, we will call it off.

Do I tell neighbour sister had it 10 days ago?

OP posts:
Bluesheep8 · 21/12/2020 12:43

There is no dilemma. Do the decent thing and tell him. I'm at a loss as to why you're deliberating. It's just basic respect.

dontgobaconmyheart · 21/12/2020 12:43

Yes you tell him OP, because there is absolutely NO reason why you wouldn't. Your sister is absolutely correct and I don't know what 'dilemma' you even have, other than whether you can't decide to show basic courtesy or sensibility, for no reason whatsoever. He must be told so he can decide if he feel comfortable doing that.

In all honesty I don't really get why your sister would come given. Just because we technically can do things doesn't mean we should. But I guess that's why we're in this state!

Theo1756 · 21/12/2020 12:50

Everyone says to tell your neighbour, but at time of posting, 20% of people voted YANBU. Even though the minority this is rather worrying

Rainallnight · 21/12/2020 12:52

When you say she has a “temperature device”, do you mean a thermometer?

GruffyLove · 21/12/2020 12:52

Yes tell him my friend caught covid from her daughter on day 12 of isolation - your sister could still be infectious to all of you. She should be making new plans!

Bettydot · 21/12/2020 12:56

Yes you need to tell your neighbour. Let him make his own decision.

notanothertakeaway · 21/12/2020 12:57

I don't think your sis should be coming for Christmas

But, a number of people have asked, what's the dilemma here? You should tell your neighbour, so he can decide whether he wants to take the risk of coming. Why wouldn't you?

WhereYouLeftIt · 21/12/2020 12:58

Really not seeing the dilemma here. Of course you tell your neighbour/guest, and allow him to make an INFORMED decision.

user1496146479 · 21/12/2020 13:00

@Seeline

Of course you tell your neighbour!

Surely the rest of your DSis family will still be need to SI anyway. A negative test for them does not let them forgo the full 10 days of isolation - they could still be incubating the virus.

Totally agree with this!!!!
VinylDetective · 21/12/2020 13:00

Are you seriously planning to entertain someone with a positive covid diagnosis in your home? If I were you my sister and her family would be staying at home.

Atalune · 21/12/2020 13:02

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell him?

Coriandersucks · 21/12/2020 13:04

Don’t be like Boris - tell him sooner rather than later

Whodofthunk · 21/12/2020 13:05

I would be having him over and telling your sis to stay home

Cocomarine · 21/12/2020 13:06

Another who hasn’t got a clue what you think the actual dilemma is here? 🤔

CareBear50 · 21/12/2020 13:13

You've a moral obligation to tell your neighbour, you absolute Muppet 🤣🤣🤣

Piwlyfbicsly · 21/12/2020 13:17

You absolutely have to.

Ohdeariedear · 21/12/2020 13:21

This is a reverse surely?

CovidScrewedMyChristmas · 21/12/2020 13:21

Yes of course you should tell your neighbour.
You (and your DS) do realise that if she is still sneezing/has a runny nose, has a temperature or rigours, feels sick or is suffering from diarrhoea she will have to continue to isolate beyond 10 days until those symptoms resolve don’t you?

PerveenMistry · 21/12/2020 13:22

@notanothertakeaway

I don't think your sis should be coming for Christmas

But, a number of people have asked, what's the dilemma here? You should tell your neighbour, so he can decide whether he wants to take the risk of coming. Why wouldn't you?

This.

All of you should be staying home. FFS.

JacobMarley · 21/12/2020 13:23

Your sister definitely wouldn’t be coming to mine!

To not tell the elderly gent that someone he intends spending time with has Covid is ridiculous!

If you are up for your sister to spend time in your house the very least you can do is inform other guests of her situation. FFS let the gent make his own decision!!

Rosebuddydo · 21/12/2020 13:24

Jesus Christ of course you tell him??

TragedyHands · 21/12/2020 13:27

Eh? Of course you tell the neighbour, why wouldn't you?

Hamster1111 · 21/12/2020 13:28

I'm horrified you wouldn't tell him. Jesus what is wrong with you? It's not your decision to make for him OP.
What if it wasn't ok OP and he did get ill? Would you be like 'oh yeah, sorry about that my sister had covid and she only finished isolation less than 24 hours before she spent the day with you. Merry christmas! Hmm

He may decide to come anyway but why would you withhold information? You obviously know it's important info or you wouldn't be wondering, would you?

NamechangedforAIBU · 21/12/2020 13:28

Of course you tell the neighbour - why the secret?

trollopolis · 21/12/2020 13:30

Yes of course you should tell him.

And if your DSis is not recovered, she should not come even if her 10 days are up.