I don't really know where to turn for this, as I'm so angry at the moment. DH and I made the decision split up three months ago as despite a relatively happy marriage for 15 years - both now 43, we don't feel content with one another and decided to see how things went as a separated couple. I think I've been managing okay, the kids have seen him and he doesn't live far (atm with his mum) so it has been handy. We haven't discussed divorce or anything as that's very drastic and I think our split was largely due to how we were always together during the first lockdown as we usually work in the office so obviously clashed etc.
About two weeks ago I received a Facebook message from his ex wife - they had been together for three years - had split up two years by the time we got together and I've never really had anything to do with her. She's American who emigrated to the UK to be with him. She told me that she heard from DH that we split up and said how truly sorry she was. I said it wasn't her business, didn't really want to talk to her but I wanted to see her angle. She told me that DH and her had started seeing each other again as they were "each others first loves" and she can claim him because she's his first wife! I'm so thick skinned usually that nothing ever makes me cry but I balled that night. I never replied to her cos I didn't know what to believe.
DH said that they had met up and rekindled some "feelings" but he doesn't want to be with her and said she's making up a fantasy in her head. I'm just so heartbroken over what she said. I have been with DH for 15 years, I don't ever intend on leaving him but the thought of her trying to steal him and claim him has fucking hacked me off! I really thought we'd try to patch things up as a couple but this has just worried me. I don't want a divorce but I feel like she'll linger like a bad smell even if we split or reunite.