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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If you don't have a young baby right now

75 replies

Coronaquandry · 20/12/2020 11:39

Are you aware that families with babies under 1 are entitled to form a support bubble (even in tier 4)?

YABU - I've never heard of this
YANBU - Yes I was aware

(Just trying to gauge how pissed off my neighbours will be if I have my parents round on Xmas day)

Thanks

OP posts:

Floralnomad · 20/12/2020 14:02

[quote winterbabythistime]@Floralnomad it's probably to do with the risk of PND for the mother's[/quote]
Yes probably , but then perhaps that should have been the criteria .

Findahouse21 · 20/12/2020 14:08

We could visit my parents on Christmas day because dd was under 1 on the 2nd December. But we won't because we don't really need to. Yes it would be lovely, and the risk is minimal but there is still a risk that one of us has picked it up and is asymptomatic. Is it really essential for your mental health that you go OP?

Moonandstars25 · 20/12/2020 14:10

Yes I knew. Gutted that my 13 month old doesn’t qualify yet my friend’s now 1 year old does. You are allowed to keep the bubble after they turn 1 as long as they were under 1 on 2nd December. My friend also has an older child, her youngest attends nursery and she has told me she doesn’t need it but will be using it for Xmas. Meanwhile my only child son who has a mild developmental delay is stuck with just me and when my OH isn’t working away him.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 20/12/2020 14:12

Ignore the bit where I wrote about a different tier. I’ve read too many covid threads today and they’re all blurring into one. 😬

WorriedNHSer · 20/12/2020 14:15

One thing I learnt just recently is that the bubble isn’t for babies under 1 but for all children who were under 1 on the 2nd December so the bubble at least for now is still allowed even for some slightly older babies.

Moonandstars25 · 20/12/2020 14:25

Oh and my post natal depression is pretty awful- it often lasts well beyond the first year for many women so I’m not uncommon.

BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 20/12/2020 14:30

Moonandstars25

They have to have the cut off somewhere unfortunately.
I’d say to anyone, if you are genuinely struggling then do what you need to do to be ok. Hoping your OH is around for Xmas and things will be ok for you. 💐

Moonandstars25 · 20/12/2020 14:39

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze thank you he gets home on Xmas eve so we will have him for a few days. I do understand that there needs to be a cut off but if it can persist past a year for those who get one it is a bit tough to stomach if you just miss out. Perhaps when the free nursery hours kicks in would be better as at least those parents have options of a break. We are forming a childcare bubble with my mum when I return to work, that won’t change how isolated I am as I work alone for much of the day but will mean my son will have some meaningful contact with someone other than me.

Moonandstars25 · 20/12/2020 14:40

Plus the cynical part of me thinks if Boris’s baby had been older the age limited for would have been older.

Original poster

Coronaquandry · 20/12/2020 14:41

One more year and I will give no more shits

OP posts:

Original poster

Coronaquandry · 20/12/2020 14:41

Oops, the above was to @WorraLiberty

OP posts:

DelphiniumBlue · 20/12/2020 14:47

It's none of their business. I wouldn't even consider justifying myself to the neighbours.
Do what you know to be right and act within the medical guidelines. If you need help to look after children or care for an ill relative, then that is your prerogative.

movingonup20 · 20/12/2020 14:54

Yes but it's for support not socialising so having them round on Christmas Day could be seen as socialising! But I would do it

I forewarned our new neighbours that we between us have two adult DD's that require care so they may see them about if they need respite so it didn't seem like they were coming and going, we also have student DD's that are back

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 20/12/2020 15:01

I can see why they allowed it for those struggling with PND but suddenly needing a support bubble on Christmas Day wouldn’t suggest its more about getting round the tier rules than actual support.

movingonup20 · 20/12/2020 15:02

@elliejjtiny there's a general exemption for respite and care for those with such needs so if you need support you are entitled already (and have been since March). I'm sharing care of my dd with my dm (complicated) and double checked, it's fine. I have her diagnosis and pip award forms near the door in case I get asked. You can also go out with an extra adult if they require care

bigbluebus · 20/12/2020 15:37

I only know because I read it o Mumsbet last night. I know 2 families locally with babies under 1 - one of them uses family for childcare so are in a bubble with them (which I think is allowed anyway regardless of age), the other has no local family so hasn't formed a bubble with anyone.

Floralnomad · 20/12/2020 15:39

The thing is if you are a proper support bubble you will already have been mingling and treating the 2 households as one , if you’ve not been doing so then it’s not IMO a proper support bubble but purely a social thing as why does someone just need support at Christmas .

Newnamefor2021 · 20/12/2020 15:49

Where is this written? I am not doubting by the way but just wondering if they same allowances are made for disabled children.

LuckyC27 · 20/12/2020 16:00

I have a baby under 1 and have bubbled with my parents, I have seen them once a week since the rules came in and it really has helped my sanity, will be seeing them Xmas day. If your neighbours say anything direct them to the gov website? Or if you see them (socially distanced ofc) wish them a merry Xmas have some small talk and casually drop into the conversation how glad you are that you can form a support bubble with your parents due to the baby being under 1.

Santastealer · 20/12/2020 16:33

@Newnamefor2021 it applies to children with a disability if they are 5 and under.

ChickenNugget86 · 20/12/2020 18:14

Yes I did know I have a 8 month old baby, but it's horrible when you don't have anyone to be your support bubble.

Lottieeshborn · 20/12/2020 23:05

@Notthe9oclocknewsathon @EnglishRose1320
(And all others that gave me advice)

Thank you so much for your kind words. Honestly I've been trying to struggle through on my own with 2 children and suffering the effects of my condition and the chemo. I didn't want people thinking I was breaking rules or being a dick etc.

So honesty thank you so much! I really do appreciate it xx

Mumofsend · 20/12/2020 23:12

Most people are aware of support bubbles. We have one with my parents too.

Pipandmum · 20/12/2020 23:19

No. I don't know anyone with a baby. And if someone went to my neighbours (not that I'd notice unless they were out back) I wouldn't care - they make their own decisions.

Newnamefor2021 · 20/12/2020 23:36

[quote Santastealer]@Newnamefor2021 it applies to children with a disability if they are 5 and under.[/quote]
Thanks, my two (with disabilities) are older unfortunately. Oh well. See what the new year brings I suppose.

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