Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Christmas day guest (support bubble) wants supermarket pizza

97 replies

yellowhighheels · 20/12/2020 09:25

I live alone in Tier 4. I have invited a single friend (well, it's kind of a 'situationship' but long story, he's more of a friend now) who is my support bubble for Christmas day. He has gladly accepted. I have no family nearby, he does so I let him know he's not obliged if he'd rather come round briefly or another time.

I asked him yday what he fancied for Christmas Dinner so I can shop tomorrow. He knows that cooking is a big pleasure for me and one of my favourite parts of the day. My mum and I usually cook and drink champagne and have a laugh together. I'm also a decent cook, if I say so myself so there is no element of being tactful and wanting to avoid my food (he has enjoyed plenty of my cooking before). He also wouldn't be dragged into helping, I would do most of the prep beforehand.

He insisted he wants supermarket pizza.

I have no interest in controlling what he eats so I will buy him the bloody pizza but AIBU to feel like he's being quite ungracious and churlish here? I asked him what he might like to ensure I cooked something lovely that we both enjoyed and because I don't really fancy doing a roast.

He can have a pizza every other day if he wants.

Christmas isn't a traditional part of his culture but his family do celebrate with a homemade meal together and presents for the kids so he knows it is a special time. It's also not a case of "sod it, I will do whatever I like this year as I can't see my family' as he could, if he wanted. He's not invited by duress.

AIBU to feel quite insulted by this? I know I could say I'm not making you bloody pizza on Christmas day but I would feel quite pushy doing this now that I've asked what he would like as it's his day too and he's insisted.

OP posts:

CatholicKidston · 20/12/2020 12:22

Are you absolutely sure you aren't a terrible cook?

FallingStar · 20/12/2020 12:22

Asda is doing a fresh Christmas dinner pizza!

LindaEllen · 20/12/2020 12:26

You asked him. So why is he unreasonable for saying what he would really like?

If I had guests, I'd check for allergies, vegetarians/vegans etc, but beyond that I'd be choosing the menu if I was hosting. It's different if perhaps they really, really don't like something (for some reason fish makes me heave for example) and would let you know this, but other than that, they're coming to you, you choose the menu.

Or, if you insist on asking him what he wants, don't then complain if it isn't what you wanted to cook.

Jennifer2r · 20/12/2020 12:28

You imagined cooking with champagne and laughing and being all festive. He imagined supermarket pizza.

Its a 'situationship'?

I'm guessing this won't be the first disappointment of the day for you

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 20/12/2020 12:36

Maybe he just wants a chilled pizza in front of the TV type Christmas. Or maybe he doesn't want to put you out. I'd cook whatever you want and also bung the pizza in the oven for him.

Dishwashersaurous · 20/12/2020 12:41

Maybe he doesn’t like curry

Maybe you are actually a terrible cook

Maybe he wants to spend the whole day doing other things rather than cooking

You asked. He said. If you didn’t want his input why ask

hashbrownsandwich · 20/12/2020 12:43

Maybe he just intends on dropping in for a quick shag and doesn't want you to go to any culinary efforts?

twinkleprincess2020 · 20/12/2020 12:52

i'll be eating Pizza for my dinner, doughball from the farm shop yum
my meal Christmas Day has always been more grazing/nibbles. I usually have a mix of whatever party foods we buy

ReallyLazy · 20/12/2020 12:54

You say you cook and drink with your mum. I have a friend that does this and she doesn't seem to realise how long she drags it all out for. I mean hours! By which time you're starving. On some occasion she never finished cooking, and we were all rat arsed on our empty stomachs. If she asked me what I wanted next time I would ask for something like a pizza that I could make sure I actually ate in decent time. Any chance you do the same?

Canwecancel2020 · 20/12/2020 12:58

You did ask

HappydaysArehere · 20/12/2020 13:00

Did he really mean it? Just thinking when my SIL visits I always ask her what she would like as a meal. The answer is always “bread and jam”. One day I will give it to her! The response is really meant to not give me any trouble. Perhaps you can ask again and say what you are having and ask if he would like the same or is he set on the pizza.

Meepmeeep · 20/12/2020 13:10

Probably just wants a quick shag and some pizza.

Wheresmykimchi · 20/12/2020 13:13

Going against PP here.

For a couple of years I stayed with my best friend and her family and I was so grateful to her for that. She asked what I'd like as she knows I'm not a roast fan and I said something along the lines of anything will do , a pizza.

It sounds as if he doesn't want to put you out.

MyCatHatesEverybody · 20/12/2020 13:17

Where does OP say she wanted to make a curry?

Wheresmykimchi · 20/12/2020 13:20

@Meepmeeep

Probably just wants a quick shag and some pizza.

Is that really necessary?

PickAChew · 20/12/2020 13:21

You asked, he answered. Cook the pizza plus home made salads and sides and maybe a nice home made dessert then he will have what he fancies and it will still feel like a nice meal to you.

VestaTilley · 20/12/2020 13:23

YANBU. It’s a bit of a childish request, but that depends on how your relationship is, and his attitudes to being a guest, I suppose.

I’d make him the pizza, but cook yourself something lovely!

Jaxhog · 20/12/2020 13:25

Sorry, but you did ask!

Original poster

yellowhighheels · 20/12/2020 13:26

Catholickidston Haha promise. I'm no Marcella Hazan but my family and friends usually help themselves to platefuls of seconds. I know them. They're not that polite.

Reallylazy Tbh this time I had planned to do a lot beforehand but still enjoy some finishing off/ last minute prep on the day so he wouldn't be sat bored or hungry as its just us two.

Honestly it's fine. Not being hard work. I felt put out at first but lovely mumsnetters have helped me see a way to make it a nice meal for both.

To a PP, yes he definitely requested a shop bought pizza.

OP posts:

SpiderGwen · 20/12/2020 13:27

YABU - some people just prefer that. DS1 has it every Christmas and the rest of us crack on with what we like.

Palavah · 22/12/2020 07:15

Is it possible that he's not fussed about spending the day cooking /eating and just wants a shag?

partyatthepalace · 22/12/2020 08:21

If you both wanted to eat that - great.

But most people would find that depressing as you do and it would put a dampener on the day.

Just tell him you’ve decided you want to cook and not eat crap pizza, so does he have any allergies or real dislikes, and make it a surprise.

Next time I would suggest not asking someone what they want when you invite them for dinner. It’s your choice - you aren’t a hotel. (And if this guy might be a relationship in future don’t start by pandering to him.)

Flip

1 2 3 4