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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas day guest (support bubble) wants supermarket pizza

97 replies

yellowhighheels · 20/12/2020 09:25

I live alone in Tier 4. I have invited a single friend (well, it's kind of a 'situationship' but long story, he's more of a friend now) who is my support bubble for Christmas day. He has gladly accepted. I have no family nearby, he does so I let him know he's not obliged if he'd rather come round briefly or another time.

I asked him yday what he fancied for Christmas Dinner so I can shop tomorrow. He knows that cooking is a big pleasure for me and one of my favourite parts of the day. My mum and I usually cook and drink champagne and have a laugh together. I'm also a decent cook, if I say so myself so there is no element of being tactful and wanting to avoid my food (he has enjoyed plenty of my cooking before). He also wouldn't be dragged into helping, I would do most of the prep beforehand.

He insisted he wants supermarket pizza.

I have no interest in controlling what he eats so I will buy him the bloody pizza but AIBU to feel like he's being quite ungracious and churlish here? I asked him what he might like to ensure I cooked something lovely that we both enjoyed and because I don't really fancy doing a roast.

He can have a pizza every other day if he wants.

Christmas isn't a traditional part of his culture but his family do celebrate with a homemade meal together and presents for the kids so he knows it is a special time. It's also not a case of "sod it, I will do whatever I like this year as I can't see my family' as he could, if he wanted. He's not invited by duress.

AIBU to feel quite insulted by this? I know I could say I'm not making you bloody pizza on Christmas day but I would feel quite pushy doing this now that I've asked what he would like as it's his day too and he's insisted.

OP posts:
Nowaynothappening · 20/12/2020 09:56

I think he’s trying to make life as easy as possible for you tbh.

LimpidPools · 20/12/2020 09:57

I think just bunging a couple of pizzas in the oven would make me feel really sad tbh. You said Christmas isn't a traditional part of his culture, but I assume it is yours? And Christmas is a winter feast. There's nothing bountiful and joyous about a frozen pizza margherita.

I think I'd tell him no. "Come on mate, you can have pizza every other day of the year. It's Christmas and I want to cook something a bit special. I was thinking... how does that sound?"

Don't do pizzas. He shouldn't have suggested them in reply to the message you sent.

Peppafrig · 20/12/2020 09:58

It’s his Christmas too and while that might not be your ideal dinner it clearly is his. So I would just get the pizza .

Christmassequins · 20/12/2020 09:59

I really can't see the issue here and he's absolutely not being ungrateful or churlish. You asked him, said you were open to suggestions, and he told you. What more is there to say?

CharityEscapeGoat · 20/12/2020 10:00

YANBU to feel insulted by his request. But that's what he wants, he knows you were prepared to cook something fancy, I'd just get him it. Then make something lovely for yourself, possibly something you know he'd really enjoy. I like the homemade pizza ideas.

Al1langdownthecleghole · 20/12/2020 10:01

He doesn’t want you spending all day cooking OP.

MinnieMountain · 20/12/2020 10:01

Can you say “I’m making this specific meal. Are you sure you wouldn’t like some of that too?”

Camomila · 20/12/2020 10:02

Ifhe wants pixza and you fancy cooking why not make a big Italian style buffet?
Supermarket Pizza
Antipasti Platter
Nice salad with thin orange slices - so its a bit Christmassy
Pasta with a fancy sauce

KihoBebiluPute · 20/12/2020 10:02

I love the food aspect of Christmas - and I too am vegetarian and love cooking so tend to do something every year.

For me, I like to massively over-cater on Christmas day and have loads of leftovers to see us through a few subsequent days.

Therefore in this situation I would be preparing a meal with 3-4 dishes one of which is a supermarket pizza which I would cut into 10 or so small slices. When you serve yourself, take 1 or 2 small slices of pizza and also various other items. If all he wants is pizza he can have the rest of it but in all probability he will follow your cue and take a bit of pizza and various bits of other things.

To make it a coherent meal keep with a Mediterranean theme. Maybe a robust ratatouille, some home made falafel and houmous and a spanakopita? Possibly some potato wedges or patatas bravas?

All of which will keep for days and do you for lunches and suppers till at least the 28th however much gets eaten on the 25th.

tiredqueen · 20/12/2020 10:03

That's ficking weird. It's Christmas Day. Christmas day is for Christmas dinner.
Text him back and say you are doing a Christmas dinner and you were enquiring what vegetables he would like and you're sorry it wasn't more clear!
There's no way I'd be serving pizza in my house on Xmas day. He can stay at home and eat his own pizza

burnoutbabe · 20/12/2020 10:03

I ask mum every year for Christmas pizza

I am getting my wish this year as can't go!

Last year mum got an Asda Christmas pizza in the shape of an Xmas tree. We had if Boxing Day.

(I am near 50)

It's my favourite food and I like the Christmas toppings.

halcyondays · 20/12/2020 10:03

One of my dds has a supermarket pizza every Christmas, she does eat the roast potatoes. Christmas isn’t Christmas without roast potatoes. I used to be veggie but still ate roast potatoes, sprouts etc. My other dd would be very disappointed if we didn’t have roast turkey and sprouts. She thinks her sister is strange for having the pizza but it’s what she likes.
So there’s three of us having the roast but everything is ready prepared so it’s not too much work. DH does it.

halcyondays · 20/12/2020 10:04

@tiredqueen

That's ficking weird. It's Christmas Day. Christmas day is for Christmas dinner. Text him back and say you are doing a Christmas dinner and you were enquiring what vegetables he would like and you're sorry it wasn't more clear! There's no way I'd be serving pizza in my house on Xmas day. He can stay at home and eat his own pizza
But she wasn’t doing a Christmas dinner, she was doing a curry.
mollscroll · 20/12/2020 10:05

It’s ungracious. OP had said she would enjoy the cooking - that’s part of the Christmas Day fun for her (I get you OP - busy in the kitchen, Christmas songs on the radio, putting in an effort for a special meal to share is one of the things I love about the day).

Palavah · 20/12/2020 10:08

@yellowhighheels

Joe yes I think that's probably about the size of it. Tbh I'll feel a bit odd cooking something lavish just for myself and eating it when he's sat there eating his frozen Margharita. Which isn't his favourite food in the whole world or anything. It would have been nice if he had got on board with the occasion a bit.

Grin better than turkey dinosaurs at least though!

Don't feel odd! This year is bananas - make your beautiful meal if you want to, and enjoy eating it. But make enough for 2/more. And let him have a supermarket pizza. At least it's super-easy!
Elfieishere · 20/12/2020 10:08

@burnoutbabe

I ask mum every year for Christmas pizza

I am getting my wish this year as can't go!

Last year mum got an Asda Christmas pizza in the shape of an Xmas tree. We had if Boxing Day.

(I am near 50)

It's my favourite food and I like the Christmas toppings.

I didn’t know Asda did a tree pizza. This might be a good idea for Boxing Day here as we always have buffet food on Boxing Day as a tradition.
CeibaTree · 20/12/2020 10:11

Maybe he just doesn't like/fancy curry rather than trying to 'insult' you OP?

StopSquirtingBleachOnCaneToads · 20/12/2020 10:12

If you were planning a traditional style Christmas Dinner then I would totally understand where you are coming from, but as you weren't I don't see what the issue is.

Maybe just cook whatever you fancy with enough for two, and hope that he eats it with you. If not, you can pull a pizza out of the freezer and cook it for him in a few minutes, no dramas.

CottonSock · 20/12/2020 10:13

You did ask! I agree, make a pizza from scratch

TheClitterati · 20/12/2020 10:14

You did ask!

Aprilx · 20/12/2020 10:14

YABU because you asked him.

Other than checking there are no allergies, the host normally decides what to cook. I wouldn’t have asked.

Palavah · 20/12/2020 10:17

You made it clear you were making curry so it was a bit rude of him tonsay supermarket pizza but given things are upsode down anyway maybe he jumped ay the chance to avoid a big meal.

If he asked for supermarket pizza then do not go to a whole host of trouble in making pizza from scratch, and don't make it part of a buffet. You'd both end up annoyed.

Original poster
yellowhighheels · 20/12/2020 10:19

Camomila and Kiho thanks , those are really good ideas. I quite like the idea of the Mediterranean spread as it seems more warming. It would keep things more coherent at least. I'll definitely give that some thought, maybe an aubergine dish and mujaddarah. A real mix but very tasty

OP posts:
Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 20/12/2020 10:19

I think he's got other plans for your time together wink

Original poster
yellowhighheels · 20/12/2020 10:21

I didn't know about the Asda Christmas tree pizza, I might make it his mission to find one of those!

OP posts: