Let's lighten the mood - what would go into your Christmas Room 101

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

For me

• family pyjama pictures - you know the ones where mum, dad, child & baby wear the same PJs - you all look like pillocks and/or like you're part of a cult.

• mummy martyrs. Women (and sorry it is women and yes I know theres bigger expectations around them at Christmas) clanging pans around the kitchen from 7am - 6pm on Christmas Day, making far too much food that nobody especially asked for, refusing to let anyone help but complaining you're doing it all on your own. Just STFU and order a takeaway if you're gonna have a nervous breakdown over sprouts.

• most Christmas specials (except the first Gavin and Stacey one where Nessa have everyone a celebration chocolate ) - although I do have high hopes for the Motherland Christmas Special!

Radio stations going all excited & jolly for Christmas in November (or even October) so that every other song is a Christmas song.

I'm convinced that a station that promised not to mention Christmas or play any Christmas songs or ads would go down a storm.

Songs with 'speaky bits' in them. Eg Sandy by John Travolta or Lonely This Christmas by Mud - cannot explain why but they induce major vomiting.

Baked beans

Boris Johnson, Jacob Rees Mogg, Priti Patel and Dominic Cummins

Incel Men (aka entitled rapey misogynist bastards)

COVID-19

Door wrapping. (Those massive tulle bows that people are putting on their front doors now.)

Any children's clothes designer that thinks all girls want to wear pink and lilac and all boys want to wear grey, navy and camo.

Gender reveal videos on YouTube

Twatsy and Tim

Trump and all who sail in him

People who want teacup dogs

People who pierce tiny babies ears

The 'All Lives Matter' brigade

Wasps

Chelsea Tractors

Ooooh, I think I needed that! Very cathartic! Thanks, OP!

Elf on the shelf
Blue flashing lights
People calling Father Christmas "Santa"
The Grinch (the story not the actual Grinch)
Christmas Eve boxes
Overpriced advent calendars full of stuff you probably don't really want
Over the top American-style Christmas decorations (too many lights!)
Colour coordinated Christmas trees in each room of the house
Not letting your child help to decorate the tree (not even a bauble)
Replacing all your Christmas tree decorations every year
Social media pictures of families in matching Christmas pyjamas
People documenting choosing their Christmas tree on social media
People posting photos of huge piles of presents on social media
The vegan mince pies we bought last night
Those weird meat chimera where you get several birds or other meat stuffed inside each other

I do actually like Christmas!

I dont understand why snow is such a strong Christmas theme in the uk. December is late autumn/ early winter and snow is highly unlikely at this time of year so why are Christmas cards always snowy scenes? Similarly, Christmas decorations/cards threats aren't Christmassy. What does a penguin or a polar bear have to do with Christmas?

Elf on the shelf, Christmas Eve boxes and dare I say it Christmas dinner. DH cooks it and I wash up so it’s not even that I have to cook it. Me and DD don’t really like Christmas dinner much, DH does and his parents who we have most years. But it just seems to take so much time up when we could have something a lot nicer and easier to cook!

Drakeford
Johnson
Elf on the shelf
Nigella
Cauliflower cheese with gravy 🤮

I hope none of you are my friends I love most of the things mentioned

Mine would be
The song 2000 miles

And I think that's it - I love everything Christmas!

Glitter

Christmas cards or Christmas wrapping paper/gift bags with pictures of ballet shoes, dogs, feathers or anything else totally unchristmassy!

Turkey (yuk!!)
Pretty much everything on the TV
Nuts still in their shells, especially walnuts
Christmas jumpers

99% of Christmas music
Christmas traffic jams
Busy shops
Things you want being out of stock
Queues
Extra Fucking cooking
Elves rampaging through the house
Buying shite for the poxy stockings
Expected to do extra cleaning NO!
Waiting up exhausted on C Eve until dc fall asleep to sneakily complete Santa mission, stressing about getting caught
Fretting about possible Santa disappointment
Everyone at home all day everyday, go out! Fuck off!
Sprouts
Indigestion
Heartburn

Definitely Elf on the shelf though it wasnt a thing when my dc were little. Just so smug and annoying.
My friend saying how much she hates Christmas every single work day in December (we work in a school so couldn't escape it anyway).
The frantic last minute rush about on Christmas eve for something that ends up unwanted anyway (looking at you horrible nut roast of 2019).
Boris and his bloody tiers.
Covid.
The song Santa Baby played non stop it seems in my local Sainsbury's so I end up forgetting something like loo roll and have to go back.
Christmas jumper day especially the ones that cost about £40 and have flashing lights on them.
Wont happen this year but our drunken friend coming for dinner and passing out at 1pm from red wine since 8 in the morning.
The year the chicken was off.
The year me and dd had flu and had cheese on toast for dinner.
The fact that dd is working Christmas day

Gavin Williamson - oh wait, I think he might already be locked in there, as he's hardly ever around; think he's just let out very, very occasionally to speak in parliament.

My mother.

I like blue lights

All the hype for Gavin and Stacey Xmas special.

Overrated. Not funny.

Elf on the shelf can get in the bin. I work with young children and having to respond enthusiastically to 24 different versions of "Guess what my elf did last night" every morning is wearing thin.

Secret bastard Santa at work.
Christmas parties for work.
Present buying/giving to people who are NOT fucking kids.

[quote sazzysazz337]@Holothane yes!!! I love January, it’s a month of everything starting again, knowing spring and lighter nights are upon us, not this dark at 3pm shit[/quote]
Actually the first few weeks of January are a bit shit when all the lights have come down and spring just seems a bit too far ahead.

Other people forcing their traditions on me, no I'll do it my way thanks . Cards should go too

Every sickly sweet load of Christmas film tosh ever recorded

(Am in a foul mood, ignore me)

Oh yes work Christmas parties. I actually didn't mind the lunch 'n' bop ones we used to have. But by the time I finished work, they were just a meal, followed by sitting in a pub for a few hours, and then the middle aged would go home and the youngsters would head of to some club. So dull.

'All the hype for Gavin and Stacey Xmas special.

Overrated. Not funny.'

Jesus, THANK YOU! I think you and me are the only people who feel like it though. It's the most overrated load of contrived, unfunny shit - and I mean the whole thing, not just the Christmas special. A fine cast (except Corden) wasted on shit material

Paul McCartney.

Christmas crackers.... shit paper hats and filled with plastic tat that's terrible for the environment.

Flashing and/or blue Christmas lights.

Elf on the shelf and Christmas Eve boxes.

Michael Bublé.

Victoria Wood. I feel like the only person in the country not to find her comedy funny -some of the songs are ok as 10 minutes in a variety show, not a never ending Xmas special.
Call the Midwife. Yawn.