Let's lighten the mood - what would go into your Christmas Room 101

[GlummyMcGlummerson]

For me

• family pyjama pictures - you know the ones where mum, dad, child & baby wear the same PJs - you all look like pillocks and/or like you're part of a cult.

• mummy martyrs. Women (and sorry it is women and yes I know theres bigger expectations around them at Christmas) clanging pans around the kitchen from 7am - 6pm on Christmas Day, making far too much food that nobody especially asked for, refusing to let anyone help but complaining you're doing it all on your own. Just STFU and order a takeaway if you're gonna have a nervous breakdown over sprouts.

• most Christmas specials (except the first Gavin and Stacey one where Nessa have everyone a celebration chocolate ) - although I do have high hopes for the Motherland Christmas Special!

Michael fucking Buble
Robbie fucking Williams
Elf on the fucking Shelf
Bloody Christmas Eve boxes
Christmas lights that are too bright and make me vom
Homogenized Instagrammable Christmas anything
Christmas dinner- turkey, sprouts, Christmas cake, Christmas pud, random extra meats, trifle. All revolting

Crackers, some of the stuff that comes in them sets off my phobia.

The personalised Christmas stockings that were given to our children by their loving grandparents. They're beautiful, and thoughtful, but HUGE and cost a lot to fill every year. I had a regular sock as a stocking when I was little. All this was fields. Get off my lawn.

Christmas cards.

Fairy Liquid ruining my regular washing-up liquid with a special Christmas edition label. Stop it. I get that one because it looks nice in my kitchen, or rather it did before they put snowflakes on it.

Blue LED lights.

Sellotape that splits diagonally and tapers off into a point the width of an atom that is impossible to find on the roll.

Fairytale of New York.

Advent calendars.

I hate having to say "Have a good Christmas!" to eveyone you see in a fake cheery voice.

Then "Happy New Year!" to everyone next time you see them.

Bah humbug

Paul mccartney, simply having a wonderful Christmas time. A turd of a record.
Sprouts

Fairy tale in New York I hate it
Most Christmas tv.
Blu lights they’re awful just so cold looking

those fucking outdoor blue lights that make me think it’s greater manchester police at my door at 4am every time i get up for a fucking wee!

'Christmas' music. Traditional choral: good. Elton, Lennon, Mariah & slade: doubleplusungood.

Heavy, fruity food (and drink) products. Mince pies. Stollen. Christmas pudding. Christmas cake. Mulled wine.

And, horror of horrors, eggnog. 🤮

Re. elf on a shelf. Call me bad parent of the year but I first heard of this phenomenon all of three days ago. My friend discovered one In her local woods, hanging by the neck from a tree in a scene very reminiscent of the Blair Witch Project.

She promptly rescued it, laying it horizontally across the branch on which it was discovered in case another passer-by happened upon it and was traumatised.

Oh and don’t get me started on nye, crap tv forced jollity go away, I’ll look forward when I wake January the first, knowing nights will get lighter, spring buds on trees bushes flowers again,.

@Holothane yes!!! I love January, it’s a month of everything starting again, knowing spring and lighter nights are upon us, not this dark at 3pm shit

Maria Carey and that bloody awful song, for the love of God woman pick one note at a time to sing and stop that warbling!

We’re saving for laminate flooring and we can’t wait so that to look forward too, I’ll start saving for next Christmas as well.

Stollen - yuck
Mulled wine - really yuck
Christmas cake - minging.
Christmas pudding - really minging

Also everyone who eats the afore mentioned revolting Christmas food and then cuts themselves a huuuuuge chunk of my yule log to sit alongside the vileness. I only like yule log and get mere crumbs after everybody has snarfled it. Off you festively fuck, greedy bastards.

Presents being given for the sake of giving presents and ostentatiously expensive presents. In relation to this: the way FiL virtually throws the presents at you as though there's a time limit for opening them. Oh and age-inappropriate gifts for small children. Wouldn't be so bad if he were too young for it, but a 15 mo does not need a rattle especially not as he has already received two from you on other occasions

Novel varieties of traditional Christmas food - I don't want pine-scented icing sugar on wanky mince pies you got from Waitrose, thankyouverymuch. 6 for a quid, eat them cold without anything else.

Plastic Christmas trees that (look like they) are bought predecorated. Why do you want to look like your tree was stolen from the local shopping centre.

Eating Christmas dinner in the middle of the afternoon. Just why?

God, this is making me realise that all my Christmas irritations are connected to FiL...

Michael Buble

Chrìstmas Cards which say things like "To my sister and her boyfriend" on them.

Anyone who calls it Crimbo

Mrs Brown's Boys Xmas Special

Oh and Robbie Williams

The fkn whole Christmas shite TBH.

Michael Bublé’s Christmas album. Somehow it’s become a family tradition to play it when we are putting up the tree. I’ve gone right off the man but now I’m stuck with him every fecking year.

@GlummyMcGlummerson

For me

• family pyjama pictures - you know the ones where mum, dad, child & baby wear the same PJs - you all look like pillocks and/or like you're part of a cult.

• mummy martyrs. Women (and sorry it is women and yes I know theres bigger expectations around them at Christmas) clanging pans around the kitchen from 7am - 6pm on Christmas Day, making far too much food that nobody especially asked for, refusing to let anyone help but complaining you're doing it all on your own. Just STFU and order a takeaway if you're gonna have a nervous breakdown over sprouts.

• most Christmas specials (except the first Gavin and Stacey one where Nessa have everyone a celebration chocolate ) - although I do have high hopes for the Motherland Christmas Special!

This is two threads I've laughed out loud glummy. 'you all look like pillocks'

Agreed about the mummy martyr! My mother does it every year. Then asks if we enjoyed the Christmas TV she didn't get to watch

Cliff Richard. He's embarrassing (especially those awful poses in his yearly calendars)!

Marzipan anything.
Whamageddon.

The blue lights on the house opposite which look like we've got an ambulance parked outside all night. At least switch them off at 10pm.

Candy canes for the Christmas tree. DD is obsessed with them but never eats them. What is the point of them?