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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas plans. What now!

79 replies

Summer2021please · 19/12/2020 20:00

So before Boris’ announcement we had planned to see my family and in laws before Christmas. My family say on Wednesday 23rd and the in laws Thursday 24th and stay home Christmas Day and beyond - was quite looking forward to a Christmas Day at home. We usually spend the day driving around visiting. Both our families are nearby but still take a chunk of the day - all tier 1!

But now we can only see them on Christmas Day. Sounds stupid as some have much more extreme restrictions but I was looking forward to a Christmas Day at home as above and now what?

Would it really matter if we seen them the 24th instead and stayed in the 25th. What’s one day going to make a difference. Still seeing them for one day only? I’ve followed the guidelines pretty religiously but would it really make a difference if
It changes by one day so for one year I can wake up Christmas Day and not have to rush out the door. Sounds trivial I know.

We don’t go out socialising at all. It baffles me that being in tier 1 I could meet 5 friends in the pub tonight or have friends around but not see one family?

Also, I guess as we can see 6 people we can still see some family leading up to Christmas. For instance 4 of us and our in laws? And 4 of us and my parents. But not seeing our siblings (who live at home)!

Baffling! I can totally sympathise with those who have far worse scenarios this Christmas.

Our social contacts have literally been zero apart from work which is pretty safe! It all seems so poop.

OP posts:
Summer2021please · 19/12/2020 20:25

As I said in Op I can totally sympathise with those in worse scenarios. It’s not a competition who has it worse.

OP posts:
Randompersonisme · 19/12/2020 20:27

We had planned to see my parents on 23rd. I just want my mum to meet my 10 week old.

MrsPernicious · 19/12/2020 20:27

I'm really confused. You have said / given the impression that you are all tier 1.
You can see your family and friends pretty much whenever you want, just keep gatherings to 6 or less.
What is your issue?

Summer2021please · 19/12/2020 20:32

@Randompersonisme that sucks! Hope they get to meet little one!

@MrsPernicious yes we are. Pretty closeby but far enough that travelling around on Christmas Day is a headache with two disabled children but hey ho. 4 of us and our families is more than 6. Our other option is just to see our parents and not our siblings this year - even though they all live at home. But it cuts down social contacts as our siblings are a pretty sociable bunch who see lots of friends (we are the opposite 🤣)

OP posts:
loulouljh · 19/12/2020 20:37

Just ignore the rules...break them.

Viviennemary · 19/12/2020 20:37

Rules is rules. What are they again. They might even change before the 25th. It was madness having those 4 days and paying for it later.

CakeRequired · 19/12/2020 20:38

The government don't give a shit and will no doubt break the rules. Why should we give a shit to be honest?

Come January, we will hear all about how they've been breaking the rules, going shopping with covid etc. They will still keep letting people into the country with no testing, from countries with high rates. They will still keep making stupid rules after the 3 weeks are up that make no sense.

I don't think they are telling us something to be honest and I'm not even a person who believes in conspiracy theories. They've suddenly gone batshit over a new strain, while they have a vaccine that 'should' prevent us getting it. I doubt it will now from the sounds of it. Next year is probably gonna be shit too, enjoy your Christmases and give up on this shit show for a few days. The government has fucked us over for an entire year and have done fuck all to actually stop this. Bollocks to their plans, they won't do anything anyway.

SweetFelicityArkright · 19/12/2020 20:39

@Summer2021please

As I said in Op I can totally sympathise with those in worse scenarios. It’s not a competition who has it worse.
No it's not, that wasn't really my point, my point that you still have a workable option open to you, even if it's inconvenient or doesn't fit the plans you originally had. I get that it's inconvenient having to reorganise everything, but you do have an option to do so and the option to not do so to should you choose.
MrsPernicious · 19/12/2020 20:39

@Summer2021please if you siblings are sociable, can't you just ask them nicely to feck off (to friends) for a day so that you can see your parents. Then you can choose to see or not to see your siblings another day.

MrsTravers · 19/12/2020 20:40

OP, there is clearly some flexibility if you're still able to meet in groups of 6, even if you are a family of 4.

We're a family of 6 so have been pretty much stuck since Sep - which is just as well really, having just been put in Tier 4 - we're used to not being able to meet anyone. I think you have sufficient room for manoeuvre without breaking any rules.

randomer · 19/12/2020 20:41

Why do people do this stuff?

DonkeyMcFluff · 19/12/2020 20:44

It only matters if you get caught and fined, or stopped on the road by police which would prevent you going. I don’t see why you can’t just see them on the 25th instead of the 24th?

justgeton · 19/12/2020 20:46

For me the most annoying thing is the gross stupidity of people thinking that breaking the rules is ok for them.

It's not. It's spreading. It's not ok to do what you want because it suits you.

We were told months ago winter would be tough, we were told things would change as we went through it.

There is no precedent and of course things will change

We all hate it for our own reasons. What matters to one won't matter to another but they're all relevant.

But we do just have to suck it up IF we want it to go away.

windturbines · 19/12/2020 20:53

Regardless of what I think you should/shouldn't do (it isn't any of my business, really), I do think posting here isn't advisable. I know you're only posting to help you come to a decision, but it's not worth it. You'll only spend the evening justifying yourself, apologising for being in a 'better' position than someone else, etc.

Look at the guidelines, and go with what feels right but isn't a pisstake would be my view. Even if it was done outside or something if that makes you feel a bit better. Or a flying visit.

I know people will say it is 'our' business but honestly, as long as someone isn't being a total knob about it (seeing loads of family, travelling around the country willy-nilly, etc), I don't feel like I can really shit on someone's plans for Christmas when this year has been so spectacularly shite.

XingMing · 19/12/2020 20:54

Our Christmas plans haven't changed. We shall eat Christmas dinner together, just our nuclear family, and Zoom a lot. Tier 1, without local relatives.

XingMing · 19/12/2020 20:55

Which is why we're still T1.

justgeton · 19/12/2020 20:57

@XingMing

Which is why we're still T1.
The truest thing on mn for weeks
randomer · 19/12/2020 21:06

Oh ,I see......its my own fault I'm in T3?

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/12/2020 21:06

Why are you asking permission? You’re an adult. You know the laws and why they’ve changed them. You know you’re way better off with more options than half the country. If you want to ignore the laws go for it. Don’t expect the majority to pat you on the back for doing it.

Summer2021please · 19/12/2020 21:09

I can assure everyone I’ve followed the rules but I’d like to know what difference would it make to change a day? I mean if one of us had covid without knowing what would the 25th make a difference?

Partner has worked all year with no time off. I was looking forward to a chilled Christmas and a Christmas Day at home that’s all.

Honestly I have a difficult relationship with my mum and my in laws can be difficult. I don’t really care if I see them or not but I know I will be guilt tripped into letting them see dc and I also don’t want to spend time Christmas Day with them. I think we will just meet in groups of 6 this week and have it done with!

Christmas isn’t this joyous time with family for all of us. Sometimes we are guilt tripped into seeing them! 😭 being elsewhere would be a perfect excuse not to see them.

OP posts:
randomer · 19/12/2020 21:11

See them another time? What the hell is the obsession with25th December

PugInTheHouse · 19/12/2020 21:11

This thread has pissed me off, I knew I shouldn't look but we have just gone into tier 4, probably because people are constantly breaking the rules to suit themselves. Our Christmas has been ruined, my parents are devastated, they are struggling and were so excited to see us Christmas Day. We are not even allowed out for a bloody walk with them.

Stick to the rules FFS

PugInTheHouse · 19/12/2020 21:13

You can only bubble with 1 other family now not 2 so you can't see both sets anyway

XingMing · 19/12/2020 21:15

Just say you're not comfortable seeing anyone at all, and have a nuclear family day...open presents, go for a walk and eat your turkey. There's always next year when your DC will enjoy it. It's all most people will be doing, whatever MN says.

PugInTheHouse · 19/12/2020 21:15

And I'm sorry, i didn't mean to rant. You actually sound like you have been doing the right thing, but so have we and we have a really shit deal. So many of my friends have been sticking to the rules but here we are in T4 due to a load of selfish idiots. Its just hard to hear the people in T1 thinking about breaking the rules when we would kill to just be able to mix with 1 other household for Xmas day