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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can you Dad come for Christmas from London?

79 replies

friendlyflicka · 19/12/2020 17:48

He is 89, just had first vaccine, hasn't seen anyone all year. He is desperate to come to me. I am a single parent not bubbled with anyone else.

Dad was due to come on Christmas Eve in a pre-booked black cab with partition etc. I was going to drive him back from Somerset on Boxing Day.

I am not asking whether he should come. He is aware of the risks and is adamant he wants to come.

Is it legal? I would definitely deem him to at 'extreme risk of loneliness' and he has aged a lot this year and I thinks considers this Christmas could easily be his last. I have offered other way round: for me to come down for a day before Christmas but he really wants to come to me....

OP posts:
Original poster
friendlyflicka · 19/12/2020 17:49

Sorry, Can My Dad Come....

OP posts:
Chailatte20 · 19/12/2020 17:50

According to this no he can't as London is in tier 4
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/world-55376873

Original poster
friendlyflicka · 19/12/2020 17:54

It says there that support bubbles will continue. Is that only within tier 4?

OP posts:
crazyrabbit · 19/12/2020 17:55

In reality I don’t think you’ll face any legal consequences or police visits for this.

IrenetheQuaint · 19/12/2020 17:56

I'm not sure whether the new legislation is published, but there should still be an exemption for the vulnerable, so I think this may be legal (against advice, but it is his and your decision, and in your situation I would probably go ahead).

LittleOwl153 · 19/12/2020 17:58

I think the crux of the question is whether travel for support bubbles is allowed. I can't see anywhere that it is not - and therefore if you are a support bubble he can travel to you and you can travel to him at any point. Clearly a more local support bubble would be "better" for both of you. But that is your/his choice.
Tough one OP. The only thing I would say is make sure he is where he needs to be for his second dose of the vaccine!

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/12/2020 18:01

Tier 4 residents must not stay away overnight from home. He can't leave London.

You also shouldn't be going to London.

You're not really a support bubble when you don't live locally. London and Somerset is taking the piss rather.

I know it's awful and incredibly sad but many of us are all suffering. I haven't seen my family, including my elderly father all year. Like you OP, I don't know if this will be my father's last Christmas. But I would rather not be responsible for killing him, or his partner, or anyone else. So I will stay home alone.

Original poster
friendlyflicka · 19/12/2020 18:01

I have tried to advise him not to, repeatedly, because I am worried about infecting him. But he is determined.

He is not at all a needy person normally but I think he does consider this absolutely essential to him. He is totally all there mentally and very aware of the news. So since he is at no risk of passing it to us, I do feel I have to respect his choice but...

OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 19/12/2020 18:03

I'm not sure that your dad's taxi driver will be allowed to make that journey.

Original poster
friendlyflicka · 19/12/2020 18:04

@HundredMilesAnHour But your father has a partner. Mine is totally alone - really totally alone - and has been for a long time very bravely. It is not for my need. It is his need.

OP posts:
Original poster
friendlyflicka · 19/12/2020 18:04

Rung up the taxi firm and they are allowed to do it

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 19/12/2020 18:04

Yes, technically he can still bubble with you and come any time. But how he will get there, I don’t know.

Original poster
friendlyflicka · 19/12/2020 18:05

From my point of view it would be far easier not to have him. I have 2 children and am on my own and he is another person to look after. But he is desperately lonely

OP posts:
Winniewonka · 19/12/2020 18:06

I honestly don't know but I can't see any reason why he can't be counted as in your support bubble if he too lives alone.

Redwinestillfine · 19/12/2020 18:06

Can he get a cab tonight op? If he waits he may not be able to get one ( they may not be allowed to take him). He will get a few extra days with you. If he's a single household then you can support bubble.

ListeningQuietly · 19/12/2020 18:06

If you are his designated support bubble household (and distance is not a limit on that)
then he can still come

Floralnomad · 19/12/2020 18:07

Could he not come earlier and just stay with you until he needs to go back for his second vaccine , that’s what I’d be doing in your position.

Redwinestillfine · 19/12/2020 18:07

He can do some babysitting, it may make things easier...

pickingdaisies · 19/12/2020 18:07

Special exemption for people in your dad's position.

MondeoFan · 19/12/2020 18:08

I think it's a yes as you are both single and can both bubble together. I think you should get a Covid test beforehand though

HundredMilesAnHour · 19/12/2020 18:08

So why ask if you're going ahead anyway and doing it anyway?

He's had the first vaccine dose so he's 30 days or less away from his second dose and being protected. Why throw that away now? Do like many people are doing which is celebrate Christmas in 2021 as soon as it's safe to be together....which in the OP's case would be late January so not far away at all.

Willyoujustbequiet · 19/12/2020 18:08

How is it a support bubble that far apart?

He isnt allowed.

Persipan · 19/12/2020 18:09

As yet it's wholly unclear to me which wins out of 'bubbles are still okay' and 'don't travel out of tier 4'. And I say that as a tier 2 single parent of a baby, with a tier 4 dad who is our bubble, so I'm pretty invested in the answer!

Chailatte20 · 19/12/2020 18:09

A stay at home order is being issued to residents - although those who have to travel for education or work may continue to do so.

Social mixing will be restricted to meeting one other person from outside your household in an open public space.

All non-essential retail will have to close, along with hairdressers, nail bars and indoor entertainment venues.

Support bubbles remain unaffected, as do the exemptions for separated parents and their children.

No-one in tier four will be allowed to join Christmas Day bubbles in tiers one to three.

The measures will be formally reviewed on 30 December.

CoronaIsWatching · 19/12/2020 18:10

I would, it's totally cruel not to let him come

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