Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours doing controlled crying with a 2 and half year old for hours every night for weeks....my little one not sleeping

39 replies

universal83 · 18/12/2020 22:06

I am seriously at end of my tether.

Our neighbours have a 2 and a half year old and for the last few weeks/months (approx 2 months I think) they have let their child scream from about 7pm to 9 or 10pm every single night. You do hear them go in to say lay down etc but the screaming is so loud its keeping my little boy who is 7 awake. We have swapped my little boys room but it's so loud you hear it in every room upstairs.

I know loads swear by controlled crying but I thought it was only meant to last 10 or so days not months. The neighbour is pregnant again so clearly desperate for the little one to self settle but I dunno what to do for my little one?

OP posts:
ReeseWitherfork · 18/12/2020 22:08

I'm not really sure what you can do. Pray it ends soon?! Does white noise drown it out at all? I don't even know if talking to them will help tbh.

Porridgeoat · 18/12/2020 22:10

Ear plugs

ChristmasTreeFairy5000 · 18/12/2020 22:11

Report them to social services.

Also report them to the council for noise nuisance.

Original poster
universal83 · 18/12/2020 22:13

Sadly my boy is 7 and refuses ear plugs

OP posts:
Original poster
universal83 · 18/12/2020 22:14

@ReeseWitherfork

I'm not really sure what you can do. Pray it ends soon?! Does white noise drown it out at all? I don't even know if talking to them will help tbh.
No I dont think speaking to them will either. They are not the most approachable. They are not professionals and nice parents I dont have concerns for welfare only other than it seems a bit cruel to me.
OP posts:
HollyGoLoudly1 · 18/12/2020 22:15

Report them to social services for sleep training? OP says she can hear the parents going in and trying to settle them, it's not like the child is being left alone. And even then I doubt social services would be interested.

OP that's so tough. I sleep trained my toddler (and will rave about it to anyone that asks) but you're right: it shouldn't be going in this long and clearly isn't working. Do you have the kind of relationship where you could approach them about it? In a friendly, supportive way? It's not on if it's keeping your whole house up but I dare say they are even more exasperated than you are with the situation. Sounds like they need to try another tactic.

HollyGoLoudly1 · 18/12/2020 22:16

Oh cross post about speaking to them

Bagelsandbrie · 18/12/2020 22:16

I think I would report to social services too. It’s cruel going on like this for so long.

Nottherealslimshady · 18/12/2020 22:17

Go round! As if you've been living with screaming hours every night for months. Go round after an hour of screaming and say they've kept your kids awake for 2 months, enough is enough. It's clearly not working and its cruel to their kid and downright disgusting towards their neighbours.

Thatwentbadly · 18/12/2020 22:17

Let their child scream for comfort for 2 hours plus a night is emotional abuse. I suspect SS wouldn’t do much about it though.

ReeseWitherfork · 18/12/2020 22:18

Wonder if something like this actually helps?

https://www.gak.co.uk/en/roland-ne-10-noise-eater/92919?gclid=Cj0KCQiAwH-BRD-ARIsALQEE2NrSf7bU6Gi1fGKRyAfgDUmfXvm-i-3-QaTXxXbxhyuPzJvAoQza8UaAik6EALwwcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Original poster
universal83 · 18/12/2020 22:18

@HollyGoLoudly1

Report them to social services for sleep training? OP says she can hear the parents going in and trying to settle them, it's not like the child is being left alone. And even then I doubt social services would be interested.

OP that's so tough. I sleep trained my toddler (and will rave about it to anyone that asks) but you're right: it shouldn't be going in this long and clearly isn't working. Do you have the kind of relationship where you could approach them about it? In a friendly, supportive way? It's not on if it's keeping your whole house up but I dare say they are even more exasperated than you are with the situation. Sounds like they need to try another tactic.

I just do not have that relationship with them to do it. I do hear them go in but some nights I do not and it goes on for hours but maybe I just cannot hear it or maybe they are doing the silent going in and then walking out...who knows

I know it is harder for them and I do feel for them but it is driving me mad and I do feel for the little one

OP posts:
Meepmeeep · 18/12/2020 22:19

What does the fact they are not ‘professionals’ have to do with anything? Are only people who are employed in a ‘professional’ role deemed to be good parents by you?

Missmonkeypenny · 18/12/2020 22:19

I'm against CC personally but it really, really shouldn't be going on for that long, be it the length per night or for months on end.

Poor little boy Sad

SebastianTheCrab · 18/12/2020 22:20

Sympathetic but firm anonymous note through the door (maybe with some biscuits/wine)?

isadoradancing123 · 18/12/2020 22:22

Just because they are not professionals does not mean that they are not nice people

Original poster
universal83 · 18/12/2020 22:23

Woahhhhh....I am not a professional myself so before you start that route with me no I do not deem those professional to be better parents. I was rightly or wrongly saying they were not a pair of clueless folks who would not realise this is odd

OP posts:
Bibidy · 18/12/2020 22:23

100% try white noise...that's how I drown out my OH's loud snoring!

I have an app on my phone that plays rain noises (or loads of other things you can select) and I just have it playing through a bluetooth speaker at a constant level all night so that no noise wakes me up.

I would definitely give that a try in your son's room.

MoiraRosesWig · 18/12/2020 22:27

Poor little boy :( that's not 'controlled crying', that's abuse

Meepmeeep · 18/12/2020 22:29

@universal83

Woahhhhh....I am not a professional myself so before you start that route with me no I do not deem those professional to be better parents. I was rightly or wrongly saying they were not a pair of clueless folks who would not realise this is odd
Eh you started it by stating they were not professionals. By doing that it’s you that comes across as incredibly judgemental and like you look down on them. Your post read no other way than superior.
Piwlyfbicsly · 18/12/2020 22:29

I would talk to your neighbours and tell them the truth. Your child doesn’t have to suffer through this. I know how hard it is when your child doesn’t sleep well. I had to stay by my children’s side until they learned how to fall asleep on their own. I tried controlled crying and gave up after 2 days because I couldn’t subject myself or my neighbours to this.

Original poster
universal83 · 18/12/2020 22:29

Omg I meant they are professionals not they are not professionals 😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈 sorry if I offended I meant to say ..they are professionals as in eg not not aware of social skills

I did not mean they were not professionals was a typo

OP posts:
Original poster
universal83 · 18/12/2020 22:30

Totally meant they were it was a total type

OP posts:
EmmaWithTheGreatHair · 18/12/2020 22:31

Ds used to scream and went on to have night terrors, which was absolutely awful. No amount of comforting helped when he was having these night terrors, in fact when we tried to comfort it made him worse. I would t wish those times on my worst enemy. It certainly wasn’t abuse!!

Original poster
universal83 · 18/12/2020 22:33

These are not night terrors he talks back to them making sense. My little one had night terrors and nothing was coherent and it was not hours on end and same time every night.

OP posts: