Non-coat wearing teens - does it get better? And when?

[caperplips]

What is it with teens and their refusal to wear a coat even in the face of the worst weather?
Our 15 year old went to school this morning (by car) refusing to bring a coat. It's freezing here and we have a rain storm.

Normally she gets a lift straight home as we live 15km from the school but today she is walking home with a friend who lives near the school, her friend is getting changed out of the uniform and then they're going into the town to buy some Christmas presents and they take a class together at 6.30pm.

It's madness and even though it's her body yada yada as she argues every. single. time. when it comes to the coat, it's really bothering me. She will be FROZEN by the time she gets home and it's all so unnecessary.

Why won't they wear a coat???

It's so silly and I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall trying to talk to her about it. There are 3 coats and a hoody in the back of the car now...

Please tell me she will grow out of this nonsense!

DD had half a term of being sat by open windows at school. I was delighted when she agreed to me getting her a new coat in the Black Friday sales!

I genuinely think that many teens don't feel the cold.

I’m 40 and yet to grow out of it, I don’t feel cold especially when I’m walking around and I’d rather be on the colder side than the hotter side. I’m not dead 🤷🏼‍♀️

Mine are 12 and 15. If they choose not to wear a coat it's their problem if they get cold and wet! It's not going to kill them.

One of my DC used to wear a rainproof anorak thing over his blazer. He had a long walk to and from school and was not bothered about what the others were doing ie not wearing coats. Infuriatingly it was forever going missing as other boys would pop it on to go over to the lunch hall or down the field or whatever.

If you suggest this, she might refuse out of principle but thin thermal/Merino base layers to go under her school shirt could make a massive difference to warmth without having the look of a coat.
Likewise fleece lined or thermal tights with her school skirt, or under trousers and decent socks. Sealskinz do waterproof socks if she really doesn't want to wear boots in the rain/snow etc.

If she is walking at a fair pace, she will warm up quite a bit. It's more if she is standing around chatting that she will get cold.

But unlikely to be cold enough to do her any serious harm unless you live somewhere very cold.

Lots of teenagers round here are without coats - hats with big bobbles seem to be cool though so they have those, chunky soled boots and maybe big scarfs for the girls. But no coats.

I'm well into my 30s and my mum still tries to buy me a new coat for every present-giving occasion, to the extent that now I think of it I don't think I've ever actually bought one myself. I wear coats like a normal person now so assume it's some sort of trauma response from my coat-refusing teenage years.

Mine didn't, and still don't at 19 & 22, wear coats. And my oldest lives in shorts all year round. I never insisted that they wore coats even as children because they could tell me if they needed one but rarely did.

I don't own a coat and haven't done ever as an adult. If I get cold (very rarely) I have a cardigan which suffices. DH wears a shirt, jumper and jacket even on the hottest days of the year.

Have you ever seen Man's Not Hot by big Shaq- a tongue in cheek song from a couple of years ago but young men who sport massive puffer jackets even when it's boiling.

DS doesn't often wear one. It has nothing to do with vanity or fitting in, he is just perfectly comfortable in a t-shirt and hoodie. He wears what he likes (uniform of grey trainers, blue jeans, grey/blue/green t-shirt, black hoodie) and doesn't care about brand names, he just isn't cold.

I was a coat refusing teen, as were lots of my friends. Some got better in sixth form but I didn’t. I’m sure some of them have coat refusing teens of their own now.

Just let her get on with it. She’ll be inside for most of the day so while she may get cold and wet, she’ll have chance to get warm and dry again at various points. Let her have the natural consequences of her choices. She’ll be cold and wet but it won’t kill her.

I would be very unsympathetic if she moans about being cold and wet though!

@MojoMoon thanks for those suggestions. I will ask her about the extra layer under her shirt, perhaps she'll be agreeable.
We don't live in the North Pole or up a mountain or anything but it is cold here at the moment about 5 degrees but windy and wet.

I am listening to everyone and can see that clearly the issue is mine so I will be mindful of that and will stop suggesting to her that she might bring her coat on the days she walks into town after school.

Maybe if I back off she will have the space to reach her own conclusion and not be in a rebellion against my suggestions!

She does not wear trousers or boots to school. Trousers are allowed alright but she will not even consider it. Boots are not allowed.

She wears a shirt, tie, jumper, skirt that could be mistaken for a belt, thin black opaque tights, black leather converse shoes, fake eyelashes and a load of eyeliner...!

My DS2 was that way. He NEVER wore a coat no matter how many times I reminded him. I finally gave up the struggle and figured if he 'froze' it was his problem. For whatever reason once I stopped fussing at him he started (at least) grabbing a hoody as he went out the door.

My mum used to despair of me because I wouldn't wear a coat. I would rather have frozen than 'ruin the look' of my 'ensemble'. 🙄

Mine has done the previous two winters in short-sleeved shirt and blazer, with maybe a pac-a-mac if it's wet (she does have a proper coat). This year she has let me buy her a school jumper.
I know a couple of lads who are still wearing shorts year-round in year 8.

What amuses me with mine is that she spent year 5/6 saying how stupid the secondary kids were, not wearing coats!

I still don't wear a coat I have big shoulders and have to buy a coat that's 2 sizes bigger than my usual (fairly big) size so I hate that, they are also restricting, I can't drive with one on anyway, so I just don't bother and layer cardigans/wear a fleece or jumper

Did started wearing one in y12. He wore gloves and a scarf when Beast from the East happened (he was in y10) and I remember being gobsmacked

Ds has just been out for the last hour delivering Christmas cards in shorts and T-shirt. He's perfectly happy, if soaking wet.

Dd1 is rarely without her coat even in summer.

I don't worry.