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Original poster

Non-coat wearing teens - does it get better? And when?

41 replies

caperplips · 18/12/2020 14:44

What is it with teens and their refusal to wear a coat even in the face of the worst weather?
Our 15 year old went to school this morning (by car) refusing to bring a coat. It's freezing here and we have a rain storm.

Normally she gets a lift straight home as we live 15km from the school but today she is walking home with a friend who lives near the school, her friend is getting changed out of the uniform and then they're going into the town to buy some Christmas presents and they take a class together at 6.30pm.

It's madness and even though it's her body yada yada as she argues every. single. time. when it comes to the coat, it's really bothering me. She will be FROZEN by the time she gets home and it's all so unnecessary.

Why won't they wear a coat???

It's so silly and I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall trying to talk to her about it. There are 3 coats and a hoody in the back of the car now...

Please tell me she will grow out of this nonsense!

OP posts:
ScalpHelp · 18/12/2020 14:49

I didn’tGrin

I drive so I don’t really need winter clothing for warmth as I’m not out during bad weather for long. My body temperature is naturally slightly higher too, maybe your teen is the same? As in, I don’t feel the cold as fast as others so too many layers feel stuffy. A blazer with a coat on top is such an uncomfortable combination so I can see why pupils would avoid it.

It could also be that she hasn’t found “the one” (in terms of a coat)

BarbaraofSeville · 18/12/2020 14:49

Assuming that you don't live somewhere dangerously cold where she could actually die of hypothermia, does it matter?

She's the one who'll get cold or wet without a coat and she's the one making a decision not to wear one.

She'll grow out of it sometime in the next 2 or 3 decades when she decides that physical comfort is more important than fitting in, at about the same time as when she starts thinking the same about the shoes she wears or choosing the time and venue for nights out based on being able to get a seat and actually talk to people without having to shout, rather than having to stand up all night and have her face right up against someone's ear to talk to them.

DailyPotion · 18/12/2020 15:00

It gets better in that it ceases to be your problem

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 18/12/2020 15:05

Does she have to wear a blazer? I think this truly idiotic school uniform convention is the root of the problem. We live outside the UK and there's no school uniform - teens (including mine) all wear jeans, jumpers/ hoodies and coats to school in winter - either outdoor snowboarding coats or down puffer type coats, and myown 15 year old DD has wished for a specific fitted down coat for Christmas.

SebastianTheCrab · 18/12/2020 15:06

I'd completely forgotten this was me but now you've triggered the memory I remember being a coat-refusing teen so vividly. I used to tell people that if I dressed like it was summer (even in the dead of winter) then I could pretend it was summer Hmm

Two decades on I spend most of my time looking like a complete bag lady - coat, gloves, bobble hat, scarf - all mismatched - because I just can't stand the cold.

Tl;dr - they'll grow out of it before they're 50 Grin

Thingybob · 18/12/2020 15:11

I remember as a child my mother screaming at me for refusing to wear vests, jumpers, coats, hats, scarfs etc. She was still doing it if she thought I wasn't dressed suitably when I was 60 years old

bloodywhitecat · 18/12/2020 15:12

DS didn't. He was a non coat wearing teen and is now a non coat wearing 28 year old. He works outdoors in all weathers and owns a softshell he sometimes wears but he doesn't possess a coat.

winterbabythistime · 18/12/2020 15:13

I didn't feel the cold as a teenager. It's her problem if she gets wet and cold tbh. Don't stress about it.

RedskyAtnight · 18/12/2020 15:14

In my case I think it was late 20s.

Why is is nonsense that she won't wear a coat if she feels comfortable in what she is wearing? It doesn't affect you in any way. If she moans about it, you can point out very firmly that it was her choice.

CMOTDibbler · 18/12/2020 15:18

My ds has never really felt the cold, right from being a hat/sock/mitten refusing baby. He cycles to school everyday and only on actually wet days will he concede to a thin waterproof on top of his shirt and blazer. Its his decision - he has a coat he likes at home, but even with all the windows open in the classrooms all day at the moment he doesn't get cold. Not my problem if he is cold either when he has access to coat/hat/gloves/thermal base layers/waterproof at home

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/12/2020 15:19

I only got better when I met Canadian DH in my 30s. Canadians dress for the weather. Mostly. There are still teens who try to get through winter in shorts for similar cool reasons to the non coat wearers!

LagneyandCasey · 18/12/2020 15:19

I'm with pp's - it's not your problem. You've provided her with coats, if she chooses not to wear one it's up to her. My dd is the same age and has been wearing a coat this winter but it hangs off her shoulders and certainly never zipped up or hood up Hmm

I remember being 15 and wearing a denim jacket all winter. It wasn't nice when it got wet but I thought I looked the bees knees Grin

Nowaynothappening · 18/12/2020 15:20

I once turned up at my Gran’s house wearing Converse and a leather jacket when I was about 14. It was snowing outside and the ground was covered in 3-4 inch snow. She offered me her bright red snow boots and winter coat Grin, I refused obvs.

KumquatSalad · 18/12/2020 15:24

I had the opposite problem with DS1 and he hasn’t grown out of it. It’s like his coat is a security blanket or something. He’ll insist on wearing it on sweltering hot days. It’s just ridiculous. I have, in the past, refused to leave the house with him unless he leaves his coat behind.

DS2 is much more sensible and responds to the temperature in his clothing decisions.

Aprilx · 18/12/2020 15:24

Yes she will grow out of it. In the meantime, it isn’t hurting her or anyone else.

Beamur · 18/12/2020 15:27

She will grow out of it.
Mine refuses for school too unless it is raining and I force her!
Outside of school, no problems.

KumquatSalad · 18/12/2020 15:29

I think my foolish DH would go out in the snow with no coat if he were going out at night. Apparently the coat would just get in the way. He’s in his 40s. 🙄

He dresses for the weather - more or less - when he’s with me because I do. Although memorably we went to Iceland and he refused to wear his outdoor coat and thermals on a trip to try to see the northern lights. He thought his jacket was cooler. Except he was the cold person surrounded by a bunch of people (including me) dressed in outdoor gear. I had to point out that everyone in the entire country was wearing proper outdoorsy clothing except him.

Parky04 · 18/12/2020 15:30

My teen wears a coat when it's 20 degrees. He is strange!

HitthatroadJack · 18/12/2020 15:30

As soon as they become parents they will become coat-obsessed too Grin

A toddler or primary school child, you make them wear a coat, no discussion.

A teen? If she freezes, she'll know. It's her problem frankly.

PoppyOppy · 18/12/2020 15:33

My dd refused a coat all through secondary school. As soon as she went to college she wore a coat again. 🤷‍♀️

andawaywego · 18/12/2020 15:37

I used to refuse to wear a coat because my mum bought me an embarassing (ie. totally fine but not designer) coat and it took me two years to grow out of it. Those were a couple of very cold winters.

Once she arrives home soaked she may change her mind.

Original poster
caperplips · 18/12/2020 15:40

thank you all Grin I KNOW this is my problem really but I think it's a last little smidge of 'minding her' as she becomes independent.

I do worry and I can't even articulate why it bothers me but I hate to think of her freezing her ass off for the sake of vanity when she could have her school jacket on but I know, I know....it's her choice!

It's pelting rain out there and blowing a gale and I know she'll leave school on 30mins to walk about in a thin jumper, a skirt up to her arse (I've conceded defeat on that one!) and a pair of leather converse. And she'll be out in it till 8pm - indoors doing a class from 6.30 - 8pm but in a building with little heating and windows open due to covid etc

No school blazer for whoever asked.

I have to let it go!

I am laughing at all the stories of teens wearing the wrong clothes for the season. It's sort of like the utterly unreasonable toddler stage again when they want to wear wellies in a heatwave and sandals in the snow!!

OP posts:
CherryPavlova · 18/12/2020 15:40

I very rarely wear a coat - too restrictive generally. Teenagers are old enough to learn consequences of decisions.

Original poster
caperplips · 18/12/2020 15:43

She'll never admit defeat - stubborn as a mule! She will come home blue with the cold, practically teeth chattering and will INSIST she is NOT cold Grin

OP posts:
HitthatroadJack · 18/12/2020 15:44

OP, really don't worry.

At worst, she'll wear the coat in front of you and will remove it immediately as soon as you can't see her. It's not sensible or reasonable, but unless there's a genuine risk to life (unlikely in the UK so far), shake your head until she grows up.

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