To ask what made you stop drinking?

[Lalaloveyou2020]

I have never had a good relationship with alcohol but used to limit my drinking to the weekends only. Since lockdown I have been indulging in wine three times a week. Started off as just a glass or two but now having nearly whole bottle at each sitting. I have started blacking out, I start arguments with my partner, I feel like shit. Mentally I don't think I can cope with drinking so much. I'd like to give up alcohol completely but a part of me thinks that's too extreme...but then problem drinkers never think they have a problem. Have you given up alcohol? Would I be unreasonable to ask for a few words of encouragement?

I suggest stopping completely. I stopped for a while because the next day I used to be miserable and it was awful. Then I was diagnosed with a medical condition which might flare up with alcohol. I don’t know how much I would have to drink for it to flare up, but the risk isn’t worth it.
All or nothing. Occasional is too hard to control.

Also once you stop completely, people stop offering you drinks. If you drink occasionally, everyone you see will want their event to be the time you drink.

Thank you, that's good advice. I think if I only drank on occaisons that I'd be throwing birthday parties for the dog as an excuse to have a glass.

There's a lot of good resources on stopping, have a look for Annie Grace and also Alcohol Free Life podcast
podcasts.google.com/?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly90aGlzbmFrZWRtaW5kLmxpYnN5bi5jb20vcnNz&ep=14&episode=NjdhMjllMmUtZjkzMC00YWQ2LWFkY2QtNjc1MmJiZjY1NGIy

I gave up after having very similar experiences to you. I drank more when I was stressed, then started arguments then had massive anxiety in the morning.
I cannot recommend Annie Grace's book enough as it really helped me change my thinking and triggers with alcohol.
I also had a counting app that told me calories and money I saved as well as life gained and health risks that I was actively lowering by not drinking.
I think our society has a really unhealthy view of drinking and I fully believe in years to come we will view it very similarly to how smoking or using lead face cream is viewed now.
I wish you all the luck.

Sometimes I find the cumulative effect harms me . Before lockdown I was strictly your classic Saturday night binge drinker. Often overdid it but alcohol free all week. Then same old binge on Saturday with a Sunday being slumped on the sofa watching Netflix.
Lockdown though, Prosecco's during the week, because I wasn't driving next day.
I couldn't keep that going.

Anyway, I've found that my mental health is impacted definitely, and my decisions during a drinking session are poor.
I've cut right back, but like you I'm considering going alcohol free.

I actually have a copy of The Naked Mind on my bedside table, I obviously never started it. I will read it now today. @RedBetty I think we're spirit sisters...or wine sisters, I don't do spirits :) it's my mental health as well that's really affected. I am in a heap the day after and so anxious.

@Lalaloveyou2020 absolutely .

think I have a "tendency " to binge drink. I don't know if it is learned or an inherent trait, but there is definitely something in me that fails to moderate.

I feel like I need a break, at the very least. A few months where I have no alcohol and then consider whether I can learn to moderate, or if I'm just happy to stay away from alcohol.

@Lalaloveyou2020 , totally agree that it's the mental health which takes a bashing, particularly the next day.

I gave up to reassess my relationship with alcohol after watching alcoholic relatives struggle. I kept a little note for the first month just observing when I wanted it and what not drinking felt like. It was weirdly liberating and I discovered really obvious things - I drink to relieve boredom and because it’s easier than self care. Just do it for 30/50/100 days and give yourself time and space to consider if you want it in your life.

Six years ago I gave up all alcohol. For about 18 months I drank nothing at all. Since then I do drink occasionally. But I have one or maybe two drinks and that’s enough.
Previously, having started I would always overdo it and drank most nights. I had a very life changing event during that period and when I did return to having an occasional drink I was never tempted to overdo it because it was important to me to not lose control.
Last time I had a drink was mid October and I’ll have a glass or two over Christmas.
I never really liked the idea of being tee total for ever but life is much better for me without the worry about my behaviour when drinking and the hangovers.

I was a binge drinker. I could go months without drinking, then go on a night out and drink for 12 hours straight. After one particularly horrific hangover I gave up altogether. In hindsight I drank like this because I was socially anxious and alcohol was a crutch to numb my fears and give me confidence. I never drank at home.

It was hard at first, just because I'd never 'not drank' before so I didn't really know how to interact socially without alcohol to lubricate things but now, 3 years in, I've never been happier. I've dealt with my social anxiety in a healthy way, I've made many more friends (because I'm actually interacting from the heart now instead of hiding behind alcohol) and I could never go back to drinking.

Allan Carr's 'Easy Way to Control Alcohol' book really helped me and let me see that alcohol is not mandatory to have a good time.

I know other people drink for different reasons, but that was mine. Good luck! You'll never look back!

Tbh, im in my EARLY 20s and some may think its too young but i dont drink alot at all.. 2 weekends out of 4 maybe. However when i have a drink.. i am just not the same person, hate what it brings out of me. I have completely ruined my relationship with my boyfriend because i would get angry over nothing.. ive biten him and all sorts.. seems my anger directs at him, it used to be my mum. Never used to be like this until i had an abortion.. I also suffer from pms now. I hate it.. im young and i have to decide whether its a good idea to have a drink anymore kinda sad. So i can really relate.

I had tried a few times to give up drinking and even managed a full year one time before I fell off the wagon and, very quickly, began drinking 2-3 bottles of wine every evening again. No one apart from my husband knew that I was a functioning alcoholic. I would still go to work, take the kids to school and have a normal social life but behind the scenes I was a nervous anxious wreck and I wasnt a very nice person. On 6th May 2019 I woke up about 2am and was shaking so badly that I knew I needed a glass of wine but I was too hungover to move. I just lay there and sobbed until 6am then I got up, poured all the wine down the sink and haven't touched a drink since. I still miss it a lot but I know that I am a much nicer person without the alcohol in my life xx

I stopped drinking for 18 months many years ago as I just wasn’t a pleasant drunk anymore. I didn’t want to be the person that I was when I drank.

I then drank small amounts for several years but gave up almost completely about 3 years ago, for no particular reason. I do feel better for it though. I still have a very occasional drink, less than 10 units a year.

@kayhylton it does sound like you need to stop. I am the same, a completely different person when I drink. I wish I had quit in my 20s, when I think back any issue I had usually related back to alcohol.

I used to drink a lot and didn't mind what night of the week it was. I just stopped because I find that I get terrible hangovers and feel it's a complete waste to be ill next day. Occasionally I will have a couple, but stop at 3. I would be sick before I was drunk now.

With me I just became an idiot when drunk- cold and ignorant. I'd go out with a mate drinking but when drunk dump the mate to go look for sex, was just inconsiderate or once I turned up at exs at 5am in the morning. I don't even recall going there , it was so embarrassing.

Not had a drink since February and at most drink about 3 times a year now. It doesn't suit me.

I haven’t had a drink for years. IME it’s easier to stop than to moderate - sometimes I could have a glass or two, other times I’d get wasted, and I had almost no control over which it would be. Life without alcohol is better (and easier) in many many ways. At first it seems odd but you quite quickly get used to it. I’m always surprised if anyone mentions having a hangover - I forget they exist. Mine used to be crippling. You’ve got nothing to lose by abstaining for a while - if nothing else, to see if you can or whether you need more support (nothing to be ashamed of if you do). And it’s never too late to stop. Good luck

I haven't stopped drinking but only drink two nights a week and am considering knocking it on the head altogether.

The thing that's really pushing me towards doing it is just that even fairly small amounts invariably make me feel worse the next day. Not necessarily hangovers, just sluggish, less sharp, slightly depressed and moody. I also cannot get a good night's sleep on more than about two units: I wake up constantly through the night. I only get two lie-ins a week and I don't want one of those to be overcome by alcohol.

The big test will be what happens when things open up again. I can quite happily go without if for weeks on end at home but I find it hard to sit in a pub or have an evening meal without a glass of wine. Not quite ready for that.

I can take or leave alcohol. Maybe because my husband drank himself to death . My student DS is at the stage of binge drinking and I find it very painful to see him do this. He suffered from years of serious anxiety when his DD died. He now binge drinks and feels so bad the next day that he often self harms. I call it hang-xiety.
All the feel good chemicals from the alcohol are gone from the body and it induces anxiety and self destructive emotions.
I love a few drinks with friends but I just have no appetite for drinking on my own, or binge drinking, or drinking to try and blank out problems. It doesn't solve any problems and can play havoc with your mental health if you're not careful.

I completely lost interest in alcohol when I was in A&E with my daughter in her first term of university. She drank so much and then stopped suddenly, she hallucinated amongst other things and it made me see very clearly that alcohol is poison.

Once I start drinking, I struggle to find the off switch. I'm prone to blackouts and doing crazy and sometimes dangerous stuff. I also get "the fear"/terrible anxiety for the next few days, even when I haven't embarrassed myself that night.

It's better to just say no to the first drink offered, than risk ending up completely out of it and still regretting it days later.
I don't miss it, the odd time I'm out for dinner or whatever I'll think about it, but 9/10 times I'll order a soft drink instead.

The last dregs of my social life disappeared when I more or less stopped drinking for good, but I enjoy my dc's company/my own more than I ever did most nights out as an adult. A lot of people think I'm boring, but I'm happy so don't care what they think. I couldn't find happiness in the bottom of a bottle, no matter how many times I tried.

Stopped years ago. 100% the best thing I have done.

I’m a drinker who goes through phases of no drinking, light drinking, binges... I’ve got more under control and conscious of my choices since I did the 90 day challenge with One Year No Beer. They have a community and it was good to speak to other people exploring their relationship with alcohol in a safe space. I’ve not completely given up but I definitely feel more in control and enjoy my alcohol free time more and more.