Has Christmas became too materialstic?

[stella139]

When you were younger, did you feel like Christmas had a different focus?
In my opinion, it seems like the main thing we focus on these days is buying presents etc, with people starting months ahead.

Do you think that buying lots of things has became the main focus of Christmas? Curious to know what you think.

This os a good point though:

*I just think as a society we all have more stuff.
We're trying to recapture the specialness of Christmas food and Christmas presents, but the reality is now, you can eat that food all year round, and most adults, if they want something, just buy it themselves there and then.

There was a post on here last Christmas that had everyone up in arms, the poster put up the tree and everything else as soon as possible before Christmas and then as soon as Christmas lunch finished took the whole lot down, lights, tree, everything, obliterated all evidence of Christmas. They had quite young children and everyone was horrified!! Does anyone remember that?

On the whole, I'd say yes it has become more materialistic but mostly due to people being more connected across the globe and able to see/hear what others do.

I'd say we're pretty modest compared to many but no doubt my mum would think we do more. E.g. we had one advent calendar and candle and a rota for who's turn it was (colour coded too!) whereas ours have a chocolate one each (although one switched to a tea one this year).

I can remember piles of presents under the tree but that was for everybody, not a pile each.

Food was, and is, the main focus of our day!

"I've always insisted it's about the presence, not the presents. I used to say it to my mum even when I was a child..."

Just to say that's lovely @LindaEllen

I think it has due to the internet and social media. It’s not like (most) of our parents didn’t want us to have amazing Christmases but there weren’t all the options that there are nowadays.

My parents would have to go out and buy all of our presents whereas I can buy whatever I want with a few clicks. There wouldn’t have been “twitching” as you’d have to physically go out to do that. It’s all to easy to just order “one more thing” while you’re sitting on the sofa of an evening.

Plus we’re advertised to alllll of the time so it’s easy to see something your child would like and click through and order it.

When I was a child, you’d spot a Santa’s grotto in the shopping centre and go to it. Now, you see everything advertised months in advance and you see people on social media sharing the things that they’ve booked so you think that you should too.

Social media is bad enough at other times but at Christmas it’s just awash with elaborate elf antics, expensive advent calendars, Christmas Eve boxes and huge piles of presents so it’s easy to compare yourself to others and feel like you need to do more.

No, I don’t really. I’ve got pictures of family christmases from the late 80s, and the floor was awash with gifts then.

The shops have been full on at this time of year for decades.

I think it’s about what YOU as a family emphasise about the season, and what you teach your DC and what you prioritise. We’re Christians, so we teach our DS that Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus, and about the importance of the season of love, forgiveness and looking out for your neighbour. We go to church (in non Covid times) and are teaching him carols etc.

He’ll get lots of gifts because we have huge families, and we take him to see Father Christmas and eat a nice Christmas lunch/have lots of treats in. But we explain we’re lucky we can afford such things, and it’s important to be grateful and not take that stuff for granted. He’s also reminded of what a lucky boy he is, and how so many children around the world have so little. When he’s older we’ll explain about charitable giving, and why that’s important too.

It only needs to be commercialised if you let it be so.

@CrotchBurn

People should just do what my family do. Secret Santa with £30 limit. It's great. It means you only have to buy one present and the day itself is just about cooking and eating together, getting pissed and playing games.

I don't want to do what your family do.

I'm perfectly happy buying presents for the small number of people I'm close enough to buy something good for. Even if it's just the usual bottle of their favourite plonk.

Spending £30 on one random person out of the five I buy for would be a crap experience for me.

There's dumb commercialism, but there's plenty of happy mediums.

@thecatsthecats - I agree! I don't want to do what @CrotchBurn's family do either.
I'm perfectly happy doing what we do. I have no guilt or angst over presents whatsoever and it's really only on MN that I come across this.

I was born in the 70's and our Christmases had loads of present and planning, deciding, selecting, wrapping and finally giving the presents was a big deal.

We do the same for our dd now. We also spend time with family and give to charity and do community stuff, host family to meals both for Christmas and often New Year. I truly believe that it is possible to have presents and still appreciate it all.

I LOVE to spoil my husband and dd at Christmas and they do the same and more back for me. I doubt I would enjoy it quite as much if I was doing all the work and spending all my money and not feeling the love back though.

In our younger years money was sometimes tighter as Dh is self employed and had to build up the business. Those years our focus was dd and we just did small but thoughtful token presents to each other .

I don't think it's changed much, just the expense some people have on presents is greater.

Yes.....just like Halloween. The retail industry dictates how, what and how much we buy, it's just another marketing opportunity. We fall for it hook line and sinker, it's all about buying and spending.

If you're careful not to fall into that trap it's easy to make Christmas amazing without overspending

Christmas in the 70s and 80s : you got paid double time if you did a bank holiday shift, you got bought loads of drinks behind the bar, and it was generally great fun. Working over Christmas Day was mostly voluntary, ie your boss didn't force you, and double pay was a great incentive.
I think we had fewer presents, but fewer possessions generally. I certainly have far more clothes now than I did in my teens and 20s.
I don't recall so many child focused activities when I was young, we very occasionally went to see a panto or something on ice, but not every year. Being driven to central london to see the lights at night was a thing, in the days when traffic flowed and you could park easily ( not that we did, we never went to cafes or ate out, so no reason to stop!)
I don't think we got taken to see Santa, certainly no Elf on the shelf or Xmas eve box.

Yep, Christmas is all about the cost these days. Unless I'm just more aware of it now that I'm an adult - children (teenagers too perhaps) are simply oblivious to the financial side of Christmas.

When I was a kid it was all about the excitement of waiting up for Santa on Xmas eve, and going to Carol concerts. Now it's one big worry about money.

When I was a kid it was all about the excitement of waiting up for Santa on Xmas eve, and going to Carol concerts

There’s still loads of this (in normal years).

No, as a child growing up it was all about santa coming and presents. We would see family, but i just remember my mum being a bit stressed cooking for everyone.

People are just generally more materialistic now. Everyone trying to keep up, live in big houses, have fancy cars, things have to be designer. All so they can take pictures and show everyone on sm.

I was watching The Likely Lads Christmas special from 1974 on you tube earlier this week and they were having the same discussion in the pub. I think each generation has their own perception of materialistic.

@Chailatte20

I think that the idea that Christmas without snow isn't a proper Christmas is weird. Particularly since the first Christmas in Bethleham took place in the middle east where it's not known for snowfall.....

Also the hangups on mn threads where the op is moaning about feeding 1 extra at Christmas lunch. The amount of money spent & food wasted at Christmas & there's handwringing about a few extra guests. The excess spent on Christmas hasn't made people anymore generous in nature, quite the opposite. There's a lot of focus on nuclear family celebrations whereas the original Christmas was about family & the wider community.

Uh....It snows almost every year in Israel especially in Jerusale . In fact they get more snow yearly than I do. Also, Jesus wasn't born on December 25. We don't actually know when he was born

Yes it's become more materialistic... and this year, thank god it has (no pun intended)! Most of the non-materialistic elements we like and which add magic to Christmas (meeting with family and friends, parties, carol singing, Santa's grotto and Christmas light events, midnight mass) have been cancelled. All we really have left are the presents.

It’s due surely to the U.K. becoming more secular. Christmas is about the birth of Christ; it is a Christian festival. If you buy into that, it is hollow. An empty celebration of marketing and consumerism; it literally has no purpose, no focus.

Now people will come on and say it’s been hijacked from Paganism or the Druids. That’s as maybe and tradition does evolve but....most people aren’t celebrating the Solstice either. They are just seeing how much plastic they can buy and how much alcohol they can consume.

Those with a Christian tradition and faith most definitely experience a far less commercial festival based on a specific celebration.

Christmas 2020 is just another lockdown with presents, a roast dinner and fairy lights.

No extended family
No church
No carols
No nativities
No parties
Online school fayre of dodgy crafts and MLMs mumpreneurs.
We'd normally have one festive day out.

I generally do what suits us and am not motivated to copy what others do. Can't be arsed with the whole elf performance.

As a child (80s) of course I loved the presents, but it was exciting having extended family coming together, and I always loved the Christmas trees and lights.

A normal Christmas for us isn't so far from my childhood one, although I didn't go to church in childhood.

I think the poster who said it’s about an adult’s perspective versus a child’s hit the nail on the head.
I was born early 80’s and I definitely remember presents! I had a cardboard advent calendar, and then chocolate ones when they became a thing (although I do remember my mum saying they weren’t the same..) We had a play at school, although it wasn’t always a nativity. My mum bought the Belgian chocolate biscuits from M&S, but they were a special treat, and you were only allowed one or two a day. At least once I got taken to see Santa in Hamleys in London, and we always went to see the Regents Street lights. So maybe a bit more gentle, but still comparable.

The thing is, even if we had a £30 limit and only buy DC one present each (which we kind of do anyway), we have a large amount of close family and friends who buy gifts for DC (and we buy for theirs also... Nieces, nephews, close cousins, best friends kids etc). So, even though we are Christian, do midnight mass and don't open gifts until after lunch (well, they're allowed one in the morning but they're often shattered from church), we won't stop them from getting excited about Christmas and all the materialistic stuff that we can't avoid. I do find myself trying to send any (not staged) pics of DC enjoying presents in the days after, as a sort of thank you/we appreciate your gift.

It's only materialistic if you let it

No. I remember in 1990 my mum buying Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles toys in the summer holidays (from Woolworths in Wrexham!). They were for my younger siblings for Christmas. The lady in the shop wss joking with my mum about starting early.

Unless she was just organised with four kids?

I remember Christmas in the 80s being very commercial and materialistic then just as now. As a child I hated the mess and tried to tidy everything into neat piles and put things away neatly when I could. It was presents for the sake of them- not magical just frequently tat. Each year we try to encourage donations for charity or one group/family gift/experience, few chocolates/sweets/bath smellies etc that can be eaten or used (less waste/clutter). Love homemade gifts. Certain people ignore all requests to limit "stuff" this is them just doing what they want and basically thinking my feelings and time are not important (we have little space as housing is so expensive). New year is frequently charity donations of unwanted gifts.

Yeah, I do. The main difference I see is that retailers have managed to get the "Christmas season" pushed back significantly, so they can increase the window for Christmas sales.

The whole thing starts earlier. When I was growing up, in the 70s and early 80s, for example, it was rare to see a Christmas tree up before mid-September. In fact I worked in university at Christmas break selling trees, and people bought them right up to the 24th.

Some people bought ahead to spread costs out, and for some families not just gifts, but food for the dinner was collected ahead. Gifts were not sparse for us, but what you didn't see was a lot of the junky stuff - people did not all have ugly Christmas sweaters, elf on the shelf and it's various add ons, family Christmas themed pjs, etc.

And if you look back at my parent's generation, it was even less materialistic, and the same is true if you look back to my grandparents. Roughly within the same social class and part of the world.

As a whole my sense is that every year there are all kinds of people trying to figure out how to sell more. We all have what we need, so they make up new things to buy, ideally ones that can be added to in some way, every year.