Has Christmas became too materialstic?

[stella139]

When you were younger, did you feel like Christmas had a different focus?
In my opinion, it seems like the main thing we focus on these days is buying presents etc, with people starting months ahead.

Do you think that buying lots of things has became the main focus of Christmas? Curious to know what you think.

I grew up in the mid 60s/70s. I don't remember having and advent calendar- although I may have attempted to make a Blue Peter Advent candle out of wire coat hangers! The only pre Christmas events I remember happened at school - play, carol concert, party. The tree went up for 1 the 12 days of Christmas only.

My own DCs had cheap chocolate advent calendars, Elf on a shelf wasn't a thing (thank goodness) and neither was Christmas bedding, Christmas PJs or Christmas Eve boxes. Youngest is now 24. There were visits to Santa but nothing like some of the expensive Santa experiences that some people seem to pay for now. DS didn't really like panto so we only did that once - although he did go with the school. Our Christmases were more about seeing friends and family (who are scattered around so we don't see much of them throughout the year). I never really started any Christmas shopping until 1st Dec as I had an October and late November baby so birthdays were always got out of the way first. I think that Social Media has a lot to answer for with people trying to #makememories to be showy and make others feel that they should be booking loads of activities for their children in the run up to the big day.

I think this year there’s more emphasis on materialistic things because nobody can get together is family gatherings over Christmas, go to carol services, Xmas lights switch on, watching nativity plays and so many other Christmassy traditions.

I’ve seen more of the December 1st celebrations with the elf arriving and a special North Pole breakfast, more extravagant advent calendars, elf on the shelf stuff and probably will see more impressive Xmas eve boxes this year. I think people who don’t normally participate are doing it this year because of the situation.

@mumsyandtiredzz I think is right, there has always been an element of over compensating at Christmas where there is a perceived lack during the rest of the year.

I did wonder about the impact on young children of people putting all their decorations up so early this year. Young children have very little concept of time and the build up to Christmas in a normal year is long enough for them with all the hype and excitement at school. How are they dealing with an even longer build up this year?
Just interested as a neighbour put up an outside Christmas tree and decorated all their windows with fairy lights in mid November and they have a 7 year old. That's an awful lot of sleeps to wait until the big day.

@PaySeeWhiTa

Slightly off your original topic but I've been wondering how Christmas affects a developing brain. That massive dopamine rush when you get what you want, when Santa's been, when there's a day about gratification and excess and normal 'rules' go out the window. There's nothing else like it in life/the rest of the year. I'm not grinching, it's part of the joy but I think for lots of people that childhood memory of opening 'the gift' is incredibly potent. I just wondered if it sets us up as consumers/materialists a bit as we grow older...

You could be correct. I had a decent pile of presents as a child every year and can always remember being so excited that Santa had been and the big pile of presents we had.

I replicate that for my children and hence I buy a decent amount aswell as see family, board game nights, movie nights, Santa trips etc.

This year Iv already seen a Santa, been to the garden centre & took the kids to Harry Potter studios in the snow. I also have silverstone Xmas thing booked and wookey hole Xmas themed day out.

I just want them to have good memories like I did.

And yes we do all the normal cheap things to like bake cookies for Santa and decorate ginger bread houses.

SnackSizeRaisin has summed it up perfectly

It's always been about presents, food and fun for me. I don't go mad spending loads because I don't have loads, but I do save for months to buy presents and I do splurge on what is probably far too much food and alcohol and I do bloody well enjoy it. Every culture has a midwinter festival, it's the light in the middle of all that dark and cold.

I was an early 80s schoolchild, I remember a build up- nativity rehearsals and making parts of the costume, making cards, getting excited about bringing a toy in and not wearing uniform on the last day, the class advent calendar, school Christmas lunch, my mum hiding things around the house, all the cards, so many cards. There is a pretence that in the very recent past it was all so restrained and dignified and calm, but that's not what I remember at all, many of my memories of Christmas involve adults being very drunk and silly and people laughing at things that they would normally disapprove of mightily.

Well, I spend more now that I'm an adult than I did when I had $2 to spend on my mum, siblings and dog (I invariably just bought a treat for the dog).

Yes I start early on buying presents, so I can have time to think about what suits the different people I am buying for, buy in sales, and have time to wrap them nicely. Sometimes I spend time during the year making things myself for various people. I have a very long list as I come from a large extended family on both sides.

But I also want to do that part early so that when December comes I can enjoy lots of other things. Work is busy and there are end of year social gatherings to fit in too. It is our year end in Cubs, so older members moving up to Scouts and preparing for new members coming in January, trying to finish off badges to award and having their party organised.

I like to get to a number of seasonal musical events both in lunchtimes and evenings. Our work choir has a couple of performances in different buildings to make.

We have a few things we like to do as a family, including going to a local market, going on a decent hike (as most of our weekends are busy with various sports and activities), and going to the cinema as a family. We do a Christmas Eve swim which is a charity fundraising event. DD and I also like to do a fair amount of baking, for home, school and others around us.

When DD was younger, we would go on the Santa train some years (we did it 3 times in total), but would visit the "Live Crib" run by the Irish Farmers' Association outside our Lord Mayor's House multiple times over December. Our Santa visit was usually either my office party or her sports club party - there was a gift in the office one but more about a fun party, and the sports club Santa came into the hall with all the DCs there and had a singsong, told a few jokes and chatted with the DCs but no individual chats and no gifts, both of which were great.

And we spend time visiting family and friends. And going to church. And doing a few things in our own home to reflect on the season of birth and hope and renewal.

And I also like to take the opportunity, when we are all home with no activities or school or work for a couple of days, which is such a rarity for us, to just slow down and be together to watch movies, play board games, cook together at a relaxed pace.

From my own experience it feels true; as a child, I was just as excited about a "big family Christmas" when I'd see all my cousins as about opening presents.

DH, DC and I now live outside the UK and have no family here; it's just us, so it can feel a bit present-centric sometimes, especially this year because we can't go home and local rules state we cannot see the family we would have celebrated with (there are too many of us put together!) I have definitely felt a need to do a bit extra this year for these reasons and I probably have spent more if I totted it all up, particularly on decorations for the house. We don't do Elf on the Shelf, Christmas Eve boxes etc though. And this year there's also been a lot more baking, dancing to Christmas music, looking at lights, etc too - it's not all material stuff.

I dont do materialism. I was brought up relatively poor and although i am now rich, i dont have that greed and materialism in me. I'm happy that im healthy and have a nice family lunch and everyone else is well . Thats all i need.

@DianaT1969

The MN Christmas thread could supply researchers with years of material on how absurdly commercial Christmas has become.

The MN Christmas thread could also supply researchers with years of material on how many people are not materialistic in their celebrations, or how they want to work on lovely handmade crafts as presents, or organise nice events for family/friends, or just celebrate the season.

Some of us Christmas Nuts just want to have a small celebration of the Christmas spirit all year long, and intersperse our everyday chatter with a bit of Christmas prep or Christmas loveliness all throughout the year!

Yes. Definitely. And the growth of occasions for gift giving surrounding it is really depressing to see, especially when the country is becoming less well off.

Not really no. Christmas has always been pretty materialistic tbh: only thing that’s changed is the amounts spent.

Despite what the Christian lobby say Christmas was originally a pagan festival and it’s always been about excess: piling in the harvest and fattening up before the lean months.

It’s also obviously been about family and friends too and as it’s much harder to enjoy them this year it’s not surprising that people have focused on buying things - to the extent that they can afford to - to offset the lack of human contact.

I just think more and more things have been added each year, it makes it more expensive, more difficult and stressful, and makes the whole thing last longer.

And then you've got online shopping which I think makes people overspend, plus the pressure of seeing other people talk about what they've bought on social media, and you find yourself competing, even if you don't realise that's what you're doing.

Christmas should be nice food and drink, family all around you, a few gifts, and playing games and watching TV.

I've always insisted it's about the presence, not the presents. I used to say it to my mum even when I was a child, as she used to pressure me to tell her what I wanted, and when I said one or two things she'd say 'but that's not enough, your brother will be getting more than you' and I said that's fine!

I was born in the 80s and maybe it was because we a) had very little money and b) went to church every Sunday anyway but the build up to Christmas involved things like: the school Christmas fair and visiting Santa in his grotto there, the christingle service midway through December, carol services, school nativity, the Christmas Eve crib service. I think the only thing we got that cost money in the build up was a chocolate advent calendar and a couple of quid to spend at the Christmas fair. Not complaining though I loved the build up possibly more than the day itself.

That said, my mum started shopping early as she was on benefits and had very little money so it spread the cost. No different to her own mother who saved money in a jar all year to afford Christmas and only opened it in December.

Life in general has become too materialistic.

I actually don't think Christmas has become more materialistic.

I just think as a society we all have more stuff.
We're trying to recapture the specialness of Christmas food and Christmas presents, but the reality is now, you can eat that food all year round, and most adults, if they want something, just buy it themselves there and then.

When I was a child, clothes and toys and food, and going out to eat were all relatively expensive compared to now.

Coca Cola, Roses chocolates, variety packs of cereal were all genuine treats, only for Christmas.

Now they are hardly luxury items. So people try and go one better to replicate the excitement, which means advent calendars full of presents and North Pole breakfasts and trips to Lapland.

It's not Christmas itself, it's the background of the other 364 days.

I think that the idea that Christmas without snow isn't a proper Christmas is weird. Particularly since the first Christmas in Bethleham took place in the middle east where it's not known for snowfall.....

Also the hangups on mn threads where the op is moaning about feeding 1 extra at Christmas lunch. The amount of money spent & food wasted at Christmas & there's handwringing about a few extra guests. The excess spent on Christmas hasn't made people anymore generous in nature, quite the opposite. There's a lot of focus on nuclear family celebrations whereas the original Christmas was about family & the wider community.

Are you 100 years old?

Presents were always important. The difference with being a child is you don't have the money to buy for yourself something that you really want. So weeks beforehand I was anticipating, and feeling and shaking the presents addressed to me under the tree. Then there was having the house full (6 adults, 2 kids) so being able to play really silly team games like passing balloons between knees.

The build up was about preparation - helping with decorations, stirring puddings, assembling mince pies, making a huge pile of crackers. And rushing to the door twice a day when the postman arrived to collect the cards. Carol service in the village church was important, as was singing carols to the family of the local lady bountiful in their beautiful tudor manor house while they had their Christmas Eve dinner (I can't believe how feudal that was!); seeing the local vicar in Father Christmas disguise less so.

In my family, Christmas has always been about presents and whipping children into a frenzy of excitement. Certainly there were fewer presents back in the 70s, but there were just as many 'experiences' to cram in on the run-up (school nativity, Christmas parties at school/Brownies etc, pantomime, a visit to a department store Santa's grotto and see the lights in the big city...).

The biggest difference I've noticed over the years is that extended family like to buy big-ticket gifts for children these days, whereas when I was little we'd get something like a selection box or an annual from grandparents, aunts etc. I think that was nicer in a way, less overwhelming and presumably easier for parents who obviously want to buy the 'best' presents.

Christmas is what you make it. For me (I'm 49) Christmas is pretty much exactly the same as it was when I was a child. Same routine, same traditions, very similar level of spending, number of presents etc.

PaySeeWhiTa - I'm pretty sure people, especially children, will have experienced that kind of rush of excitement about all kinds of things throughout the history of human existence. It will have been triggered by getting all kinds of different things you wanted or were excited by depending on your culture, life experience and expectations. We're pretty much programmed to want stuff and feel good when we get it. I don't think Christmas on its own makes much difference to that.

It's about loving and giving...Nothing wrong with that.

Some give with gifts, some give with time, some give with hugs, some give with smiles, some give with food... Xmas is a time to do all these things, according to one's circumstances and preferences.

Indeed giving is one of the five love languages.

And the link to religion remains, Christ arrived on this day in the grand plan of giving his life to allow for salvation to all relevant to those who believe and those who don't remain entitled not to.

Of course Capitalists will capitalise on it, that's what they do... Otherwise, people do what they do at Xmas and make of it what they will:)

Christmas has always been materialistic. I don’t know why people have decided it’s a recent thing.

Also the ‘new’ rituals that there’s so much handwringing on here about actually don’t cost much. Our elf was 5 euro, four years ago. North Pole breakfasts don’t have to cost extra.

People just like complaining.