Not opening whatsapp messages

[Constantfacepalm]

This is semi-lght hearted, but I must vent and ask a) AIBU to be annoyed and b) if you do this, WHY??

First of all, I often don't open a message for a day or so til I'm ready to respond. And I have plenty of chats where we can go a week or two between long replies I respect that, and in those chats I never respond quickly as it's a bit much putting the ball straight back in their court.

Anyway I have a friend, not a particulatly close one, who has not bothered to open my recent thank you message about something she sent. My message was sent 4 days ago. We had conversation back and forth prior to this, but all quite short in case you think she wants to wait til she has time to formulate a proper response.

Perhaps she doesn't open WhatsApp much, you say. Yesterday, she replied to a group chat I am in.

So WTF is she thinking? That if she doesn't open the message, it's not rude to ignore it? That I won't wonder why she hasn't replied as I'll assume she hasn't seen it? Does she think I'm that dim? It only requires a two word response, FYI.
In addition, how does she put up with the thing at the top telling her she has an unread message when she is clearly on her WhatsApp, probably quite regularly.

I'm not desperate about the friendship, but we have enough mutual connections that it won't fade away.

I just have a bee in my bonnet about rude and or baffling behaviour in any form. I feel better for having vented.

Being 100% honest with you, I have some people on mute because I can’t be bothered to talk to them so I don’t even get a notification. Or I see it’s them and groan. This may not be the case, sometimes I just don’t even realise I have a message at all as it goes to the bottom of the pile when new messages come in.

@BlairCorneliaWaldorf

I can see a preview of mine without opening the messages. She may well have read the preview.

This is what I do and then reply when convenient. But many messages don't need a reply.

This why I sometimes hate what’s app... the temptation to look at the ticks, last seen time and read status. For example I messaged a friend 2 days ago... read and then 2 days later no response! Now I’m just assuming it’s the start of another ghosting 😆

My husbands WhatsApp really irritates me. He has several conversations and groups that he never opens. Same with emails and he can often miss messages too. He just isn't bothered!! I don't get it and I think it's so rude

I’m awful for this will read preview think I’ll reply later. Get a text which needs an urgent reply, reply then it gets rid of the red dot on my screen to say there is an unread message and I forget 😂

If i read a message on my watch the person who sent it thinks I haven't read it.

She probably read it and acknowledged it when it flashed up on her phone in which case she has no need to click on it.

I quite often read the preview and that is enough, if someone has asked a direct question that needs a reply I will answer. Sometimes I just can't be bothered or don't have the time to reply so I leave it for later then forget all about it!

@Burnthurst187
WhatsApp is a stalking app.

Quote of the day

If the preview contains the whole message then I don’t bother opening it unless I need to reply.

So you admit that you don't open and respond to messages until you're ready to respond but think other people are rude if they do the same? Well, alrighty then!

yabu
I have the privacy settings of the messenger apps set to not show messages as read.
possibly your friend has done this as well.
but anyway, it's silly to get stressed about things like this.

I read the preview, if I dont need to reply then I dont open it, I just clear the notification

@BlairCorneliaWaldorf

I can see a preview of mine without opening the messages. She may well have read the preview.

This. I can read short message when it pops up in notifications, but I haven’t actually opened the message iyswim.

Mine do this for ages

A thanks for a thanks? Is this where we’re at now in life?

I barely ever open WhatsApp messages. I hate being contactable 24/7. So open them only when I know I can respond etc. I read them occasionally. I often forget to reply. None of this is done because I hate you. If I hated you. You’d be blocked. I do have a message from someone who I relied to 9 months ago which still isn’t read. But hey. She can’t of liked me that much.

You can read the message on the notification screen! It is read. Leaving it as unread makes me remember to reply

Same

I often don’t open WhatsApp for days. I can’t be bothered with all the crap people post (memes? gifs? whatever). If someone needs me they’ll ring.

I do the same with previews. Often I can read the whole message, so I don't open the actual message because I've read it already. I have around 20 to 30 unread messages at any one time. Doesn't mean I'm ignoring the person.

Aaaaaand chill. Have a baileys OP and chill out.

YABU... you might just interact with WhatsApp in totally different ways. I agree, it's invasive and stalky. Sometimes life gets busy and things get in the way of replying!! It's not the be all and end all of replies are instant..

I have one friend who as soon as I reply to her (even if it's been 2 days) comes online instantly (I swear she must literally have her phone in hand the entire time) and starts typing back to me before I've finished replying to her messages... she does the same on instagram..

I don't WANT an in-real-time conversation, that's not how I like using my phone and I'd far rather speak less often but on the phone/in person so to be honest, I purposefully leave her messages for a few days to send the message that I'm just not going to be hijacked like that...

If you see the whole message on your lock screen there's not really any need to open it unless it requires a response

I’ve got 230 unread texts, lord knows how many unread WhatsApps and Messenger only counts as far as 99 and a little plus sign and doesn’t tell you about anymore.

Emails can easily get up to the thousands.

Some of us just aren’t really cut out for message style communications. Thankfully, not everyone minds!

Can’t be doing with ppl who take days to reply - close friends or not.

If I know you well enough to WhatsApp you (as opposed to a more formal text or email) then I know you well enough to expect a reply in a day or two.

How busy can you be that you can’t reply to someone you like and / or care about. It takes literally 30 seconds. If you don’t want to chat when just say “absolutely swamped with kids /
Work / house right now I’ll give you a shout at the wkend” etc etc

Just ignoring messages from good friends whilst you’re sat on the sofa watching Netflix reading AIBU on MN is rude af

I do this all of the time. I’m not trying to be rude, I’m just waiting until I have the emotional energy to respond to people. My friend sent me a few messages earlier and I saw the previews but thought ‘I’ll reply to them tomorrow when I have the energy’. They were quite heavy messages and I’m just really tired.