to wonder why consultants have a reputation of being so rude???

[staydazzling]

Been in hospital a few days, nurses, midwifes, auxiliary, care staff all very keen to do their best in hard circumstances always trying to help, largely on time etc, I sadly couldn't say the same for the consultants /surgeons sadly not just in terms of taking literally hours to turn but also how i saw them speak to said, nurses, midwifes, care staff etc and patients.
I jokingly mentioned this to a relative who works cleaning and sterlising equipment, who said yes its well known sadly, your lucky if any move or say thank you for returned equipment, i just wondered why is this a thing, AIBU to wonder where did that culture of behaviour come from?

@Glitterbubbles Also there are exams in communication. It's possible now to fail medical school finals based purely on communication even if you are brilliant academically.
This is pleasing to hear as it is so important.

I may have brought one or two consultants (and registrars) down a peg or two in my time but equally have helped out many a junior doctor who have been grateful for my knowledge of my DDs complex condition.

I’ve seen about 25 consultants in the last 2 years, 5 different disciplines. Only 1 has been rude, others all professional and polite at least, some went above and beyond. One held my hand and cried with me - maybe considered unprofessional but I valued that.

‘ Often we were verbally abused and told we should be liable for the car park charges. ’

That’s horrendous. I’d refuse to treat them. I always feel really bad when docs apologise for the wait. The wait is because they are good doctors and trying to give the right amount of attention.

Personally I have always found the midwives are rude but the consultants have always been lovely.

The surgeon who did my second section in September spent ages chatting to me beforehand, but the midwife then came in and started moaning my partner wasn't there. Erm because you didn't tell him to come in. 🤷‍♀️.

Some are awful. Theres one paediatrician that child sees that just has no people skills. He doesnt even say goodbye and just starts dictating into his machine. Nurses roll their eyes lol

I think the God complex is fairly common. An ex of mine is now a consultant, and although I'm not still in touch with him, I do know a member of the senior nursing staff who worked with him on wards and in theatre. He said my ex has a reputation as a real cunt. When I knew him he was lovely, very mild mannered and not at all arrogant.
I also know someone who was a chef at one of the biggest hospitals in the Uk about 25 years ago. It's probably not the case now, but at that time, the rule was that the surgeons and consultants could demand to be prepared absolutely any food. If they wanted lobster, they got lobster, served in a private dining room. Outrageous really.

I never found them rude. Straightforward maybe but I don't particularly take to the head tilty waffle that a lot of nursing staff do so I appreciate their bluntness.

@staydazzling

Been in hospital a few days, nurses, midwifes, auxiliary, care staff all very keen to do their best in hard circumstances always trying to help, largely on time etc, I sadly couldn't say the same for the consultants /surgeons sadly not just in terms of taking literally hours to turn but also how i saw them speak to said, nurses, midwifes, care staff etc and patients. I jokingly mentioned this to a relative who works cleaning and sterlising equipment, who said yes its well known sadly, your lucky if any move or say thank you for returned equipment, i just wondered why is this a thing, AIBU to wonder where did that culture of behaviour come from?

The responsibility of being incharge of the health of 100+ people a day may just be grinding them down and knocked the polite edges off

@iwasacceptableinthe80s

I think the God complex is fairly common. An ex of mine is now a consultant, and although I'm not still in touch with him, I do know a member of the senior nursing staff who worked with him on wards and in theatre. He said my ex has a reputation as a real cunt. When I knew him he was lovely, very mild mannered and not at all arrogant. I also know someone who was a chef at one of the biggest hospitals in the Uk about 25 years ago. It's probably not the case now, but at that time, the rule was that the surgeons and consultants could demand to be prepared absolutely any food. If they wanted lobster, they got lobster, served in a private dining room. Outrageous really.

Of course that's the rule...

My consultants have always been very polite and understanding.

However my sisters a doctor and says most of them are self important arseholes because there are two types of people who do medicine - those who want to help others and those who want status. The latter often grow into what she calls Dr Dickheads.

Because they're the most senior clinicians. It's not even active rudeness, consultants just don't tend to acknowledge staff that are junior unless they're working with them. Like someone returning clean equipment, there's no need for the consultant to interact with them so they likely won't. The NHS is so hierarchical. I'm a HCP and occasionally a consultant would approach me with a query but otherwise we just exist in the same space.

You do get rude/arrogant ones and you do get lovely ones. Most are somewhere in the middle.

Wait I can get lobster!!
No-one ever told me that

My usual lunch is nothing at all
I've been doing 16:8 way before it was a thing just because I am not organised enough to bring lunch and don't have time to buy it.
There's always something that seems a higher priority than eating.

There hasn't been a staff dining room at all at any hospital I've ever worked in. There's just a roped off area to sit in with the same food options that the general public have and the same prices as far as I know.

But honestly I think it is like any job. You will get a range of people with different personalities and manners

Exactly. I think saying consultants are rude is a really lazy generalisation.

I’m married to one, a surgeon working all the hours God sends at the moment to get as many of his operations (mainly cancer) as possible done with reduced lists available. I do hope he isn’t rude to his patients, but he has barely seen his children for weeks so he can provide the best care he can in difficult circumstances. So if he is rude, I’m sure he would be in a much better mood if he cancelled operations that wouldn’t finish before 6 so he got home on time and was less knackered, but I doubt his patients would want that.

I’ve only been treated by a handful of consultants and some were more personable than others, but none have been rude. I don’t doubt that some are rude, as with any profession.

I think it’s much of a muchness across different sectors with seniority and entrenched hierarchy. I used to be a scrub nurse in theatres and 99% of the consultants were lovely. Demanding, to the point, expected high standards and efficiency, it could come across as rude, but frankly they were doing an incredibly specialised job with utterly soul destroying work loads plus additional responsibilities so I generally cut them massive slack if they were a bit sharp tongued during surgery occasionally. Because if I was a patient I would want a consultant with the same standards.
Saying that, if they were repeatedly rude/brusque then I would inform them, I have a lot of respect for the level and duration of study and experience they have but I won’t be spoken to like shit.

Hmm.... I’m a secretary to one and I wouldn’t say this was true. As in all jobs u get some rude/arrogant people but that’s life I get.

Used to be an old joke... what’s the difference between god and a consultant ?
God doesn’t think he is a consultant lol

But overall I’d say most consultants I’ve worked with are very nice and appreciative of all other staff

A fair number probably have undiagnosed autism- clever and very focused but lack social skills- often under diagnosed particularly in women.

I've found, that much like regular people, some are rude and some are not. Some have superiority complexes it's true, but that's true of some people in any walk of life 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I work in a department in the NHS that has involvement with most clinical departments. Most consultants are great, ED are the nicest in my experience. A few are so rude and borderline bullies that I absolutely dread dealing with them. I’m told by the nurses their patients love them. I don’t but the autism excuse. They must have been polite to their superiors when they were coming up through the ranks so why so rude when they hit consultant?

The majority of consultants I deal with are great, a few are rude. I never come across rudeness from nurses, lab staff, AHPs, pharmacists etc.

@DougRossIsTheBoss this was nearly 30 years ago, and it was stopped around that time. I think it was an old traditional perk that one or two used to blatantly abuse.

I have quite a few friends who are hospital consultants and who are lovely, fun people in a personal capacity. I'd be hard pushed to imagine they're awful professionally but you never know! I do know though that even before COVID they were all spread extremely thinly, trying to do their best in difficult circumstances. They all work ridiculous hours and are extremely dedicated to their jobs, all whilst also trying to be good parents, further their careers, and avoid being sued!!! So if they are occasionally stroppy I can understand why.

Between my family and myself i have dealt with hundreds of consultants. only two would i say were rude. Doctors are humans, some are great and some of assholes like in any other career

Oh god surgeons!, my eldest, after i had specifically asked in my notes for no male medical students! a surgeon strolled in after id had a propess, with a male med student to feel an engaged baby on a higher bmi yep, no please or thank you, hands on my vag area, husband not in the room , i paged the midwife and said do not let him near me again, i was shaking

It seems to have become a sort of tradition now.

I get to meet a huge number of consultants through my work, all over the world.
For some of them, they come across as rude/uncaring just because they are trying to juggle a huge amount of technical information about their patients diagnosis and treatment and are trying to sort all of that out along with many other patients.
Some need to have an absolute laser focus on their job because it is the only way to be - you don't want a neuro interventional radiologist who is thinking about anything else, and tbh its not a speciality you go into if you are a people person.
Some have just told people bad stuff so many times that it almost is self protection, or they forget that it is someones life (other HCPs aren't immune, I met a number of midwives who were totally lacking in empathy about miscarriage, it was just normal to them).
And some are just rude people.
And some are absolutely lovely, genuinely fighting everyday for their patients, and working insane hours to improve outcomes