To feel guilty about ordering prepared Xmas dinner

[merrygoround51]

Just that. I orderEd a slap up meal from a local fine food shop /deli. Everything is cooked or prepped.

Cost is quite high but we can afford it but I have a niggling feeling that I should be doing what my mother, grandmother and aunties do/did - ie martyr themselves for 3 days prepping Christmas and Stephens day dinner. Maybe it’s particularly Irish but an exhausted, wrung out mother almost seems part of Christmas and I feel like I am somehow letting the side down with my laziness and am tempted to give in and prep it all.

I think it's a great move, and I would do the same if it was on offer here. I have always found the palaver around Christmas dinner to be very tedious, and often thought "why does this need to be such an arseache?"

Having said that, my family love the palaver, the endless debate about what time the turkey needs to go on, arguments about the potatoes...they wouldn't actually thank you for putting a delicious meal on the table without the traditional trauma.

My sibling has done this a few times. They live abroad and have this option in a very large city. Sounds wonderful and if you can afford it why not. And as someone said it helps a small business. I now buy as much ready prepared stuff as I can such as veg and even the gravy though I do put my own stamp on it

@merrygoround51 Don’t feel guilty! Enjoy your well deserved rest, last year to my family’s shock horror i booked to eat out in a naice gastro style pub because I honestly had enough of me being up until 2/3am Christmas Day finishing off cooking Christmas lunch and making Christmas magical for the kids and my husband who I used to beg to help which he would agree and pop to the shops on Christmas Eve as he had apparently forgotten something and disappeared for 6 hours whilst I pulled a broom out of my backside to get the house perfect for Christmas, bake gingerbread with my daughters to make it extra special and cook etc, it was exhausting for me so after 13 years I had enough and decided Christmas lunch out and Christmas Eve I would be the one sat watching a film in my festive pjs with a glass of wine whilst dh got stuff ready, I also said I’d divorce him if he pulled his annual stunt of just nipping to Sainsbury’s because he had forgotten butter ! My parents had the nerve to say but it’s a waste of money etc the cost is sky high can’t you save money and just cook , nope ! Enjoy

I can't stand all the misplaced 'guilt' that some women feel about being kind to themselves, it's so unwarranted.

[quote merrygoround51]@isseys4xmastinselcats We are 6 and it’s not too bad really - 230 for starter main dessert (but I will need to buy a 2nd dessert), cheese and mince pies.[/quote]
It’s cheaper than our local pub , and their food isn’t that good quite often.
They make cheap starters like Bruschetta, and charge £60 a head at Christmas.
And I know for a fact that in the past they’ve bought food from from Tesco basics range, and they are seen in Lidl buying vegetables.
( Locally sourced, don’t you know)

My (amazing) mother in law stresses about every Christmas dinner-we go to them every year-and I’ve already had the stressy phone calls about dinner
It’s just that-a meal
A posh Sunday dinner with extras
I couldn’t give a toss if we have chicken,beef,turkey or beans on toast
I’m there to see my in-laws not watch her cry over it (she doesn’t like people helping so I have to force myself into her kitchen to help)
Enjoy it guilt free-I’m gonna see if she’ll do the same next year (I’m fact I’m pay for the lot if she agrees)

I enjoy cooking and do Christmas dinner most years but I wasn't really feeling it so I've ordered from Cook this year. More time with the kids and less time clearing up.

Enjoy it and dump the bad feelings. We have enough to feel bad about these days.

YABU to feel guilty.
YANBU to order in.

I predict a lot of confusion in the poll.

The whole christmas-thing has got out of hand. Pressure to travel and meet up at the worst time of year for travelling, in bad weather, when it's dark, when even in a normal year it's peak cold and flu season.

We gave up on travelling and hosting several years ago. With one side of the family a one day trip in one direction and the other side a full days trip in the other there was no pleasing anyone. Family meet-ups are Spring or Summer. We all bunker down over christmas and catch-up by phone or online. Oddly enough, my mum has now admitted that she always hated packing us all up as children to travel between the GPs and she'd much rather we'd had a (household-only) family christmas more often.

Ditch the stereotypical christmas, have the one you want. No one says you need to invite Uncle Albert, and believe it or not... not everyone has pigs-in-sodding-blankets (or even thinks them traditional, when did that start?).

Life’s too short to mash your own potatoes! Prepared food is definitely a perk of 2020.

Ive had a crap year and it's finally made me stop giving a toss about what anyone thinks of anything I do.
If you want to order in your Christmas lunch then go for it. Enjoy the days beforehand poncing and doing nice things 🥂

Oh and last year I elected to opt out of the whole Massive Family Christmas Pantomime. Dh was working earlies, I was on nights so DD and I spent the morning at the yard doing the horses then ate Chinese takeaway for lunch.
It was awesome

Do whatever makes your christmas feels like a merry one for you as well.

Having said that, I don't understand the cooking/prepping for 3 days either. Starters here are either prawn cocktail (just mix prawns with sauce (mayo and ketchup mixed, with a splash of whiskey for the adults) and dump on a lettuce leaf in a cute bowl or glass) or fillled vol au vents (filling made weeks before and frozen), main is some kind of roast (bung it in the oven on time, that's it), gravy is bought from the butcher, vegetables and potatoes with a bit of rosemary on them and dessert is just ice cream. Since there are always children present we don't cook anything too fancy or herby. Everyone is always happy with what they get anyway. No need to spend days prepping too fancy stuff that not everyone likes anyway

Yanbu. You are propping up the economy

It’s just me and DP this year, and almost everything is from M&S. Half of it is already in the freezer, the fresh stuff is coming from Sainsbury’s delivery next week. In normal times we cook properly for guests, or MIL does an amazing spread. These are not normal times.

Baffles me that people spend nearly all Christmas Day/eve preparing dinner.

Christmas is for doing absolutely nothing on the rare Christmas I get off, so wouldn’t even consider cooking. Order or eat out

As PP have said, you should think of yourself as helping save a local small business and at the same time having more time to spend with your family.

I definitely understand the feelings of letting the side down by not martyring yourself though. My DM used to invariably invite numerous extra people over for Christmas dinner (not close friends or relatives- just neighbours etc who she decided might not have a 'proper' Xmas dinner otherwise. Not poor people etc, just people who might have told her they were planning a simpler dinner etc. This meant she was always busy for days preparing things, then up at 5am to put the enormous turkey in the oven, then a full day of cooking and waiting on everyone. My Christmases now are small, none of us eat meat and DH does a lot of the prep- yet I still feel the odd pang of guilt for not getting up insanely early and then sitting around in front of the TV for most of the morning.

I'm not sure how to vote here, so YABU for feeling guilty and Yanbu for ordering food in.

Yes,lose any guilt, and enjoy the freedom from all the preparation, and all the pots and pans etc. It's not being lazy, it's being able to treat yourselves and relax more.

We live in Dubai and all the hotels do takeaway Christmas dinners. My kids are 10 and 6 and yet to experience my Christmas cooking :)...it’s heaven! Enjoy

YABU to feel guilty
YANBU to order!

Unless you really enjoy it and are really looking forward to prepare a feast, Christmas is the worst possible day to be stuck in the kitchen for hours! You miss all the fun, and when do YOU get to enjoy yourself.

Life is far too short to be a martyr, and Christmas is supposed to be a HAPPY occasion.

My ex’s tradition was the men go to the pub while the women slaved over the lunch 🙄. They were Irish thinking about it. Added that to the list of reasons not to marry him!

Dh my mum and I are a crack team of efficiency and my dad does the washing up

It sounds brilliant I'd love to do that one year

The best Christmas we ever had was all from M&S- everything pre prepared . Just bunged it in the oven /microwave and it was brilliant.
This year it's just DH and I. We are having duck breasts and usual veg with M&S red cabbage and stuffing. Add some pigs in blankets and it will be perfect.
Planning on cooking a bit more than usual for two so we have leftovers for Boxing Day which is always my favourite day.

My ex’s tradition was the men go to the pub while the women slaved over the lunch

This was our Christmas day in the eighties. My dad, uncle, grandad would go to the pub. Mum and Aunt would cook. Although generally my dad was very equal opportunities and a great cook. Personally I'd love it if dh buggered off to the pub and let me get on with it.