That your skeleton and your bones were two different things entirely. I thought your skeleton was like another sort of person who lived inside you and absolutely get my head around it being your bones all joined together.
That the vacuum cleaner could Hoover me up (thanks DBs)
That salmon wasn’t fish.
That if I walked over a tombstone I would catch death. I refused to wear my sandals after I’d walked up the aisle of a cathedral that had gravestones horizontally laid along it. I was sure the soles of my shoes had death on them. I was very anxious when my mum wouldn’t buy me new ones on the basis of all the death they were harbouring.
That my DB had come home from the pub late one night, made chips and caused a chip pan fire and set the fire extinguisher in the kitchen off. It was only when I was in my 30s that DB said this never happened and that it was an episode of delirium that I often had with a high temperature. It was SUCH a vivid memory though and it’s unsettling to know it never happened.
That Elaine Thompson could throw me over the school railings because she threatened to. We were 5 at the time and although I was very small, looking back on this as an adult there would have been no way a skinny, little 5 year old could lob me over a 12‘ railing. The fear of this happening was very real though.
That I never grew past 4‘11“ because me dad had made built-in wardrobes and cupboards around my toddler bed. I decided like goldfish adapt their growth to the size of their tanks, I had adapted to the size of my bed and couldn’t grow out of it because a standard bed wouldn’t fit in the space. It had nothing to do with me taking after my minuscule grandparents and having been only 4lbs at birth.