Friend called me "salt of the earth" - compliment or not?

[ruthyrubie1029]

I always thought it was patronising but said in a nice way??

My point is that those two English people can certainly have an opinion on the presentation and interview skills of the Northern Irish people they've met, however it's a bit of a sweeping statement to put the differences they saw down to an entire countries low self esteem

I think all anyone can say is that they would only ever say it as a compliment.

I’m afraid it does not then follow that it is only ever a compliment.

Clearly too many people both perceive it as not always a compliment and use it themselves in a non-complimentary way.

I am from Belfast. I spent my twenties in an upmarket university city in England, not as part of academia. I spent my thirties in Belfast. I now live in RoI, where my kids went to school and third level. They live in Dublin, I don't. I spend a few weeks a year in the north, where we have relatives of various ages.
So with all this opportunity to observe,

If the op is English and the speaker from northern Ireland, the speaker will tend to assume that the op is quite posh

Surely they would only assume the person was posh if they were actually quite posh...?

Or are you saying even if they had a broad Newcastle / Liverpool / Mancunian / East End accent, they’d still assume they were posh?

No offence to those accents, but I’m struggling to understand how someone from anywhere, let alone a close neighbour like NI, would assume they were ‘posh’...

....sorry! I still think some people from northern Ireland feel a little inferior to anyone English. I don't notice this with people around me in the south, I am in the south of the Republic. I wonder if 110 years ago there was a similarity, 100years ago everything changed!

As op is a southerner Brit, and doesn't say Cockney, I imagine her as coming from Surrey or Hampshire

Strange. Perhaps it's a generational thing.

I hope so. It's probably something schools should be aware of for any 18 year olds going to interview in university, or forces, police etc.
Just listening to Gabriel Scally, the public health man....he has oodles of self esteem!

sorry! I still think some people from northern Ireland feel a little inferior to anyone English. I don't notice this with people around me in the south, I am in the south of the Republic.

You think that NI people feel inferior to someone from Manchester, Newcastle or the EE? Do you think they feel inferior to Scottish people? And Welsh people?

I’m fascinated by your ‘observation’. Having worked with a number of people from NI who lived in ROI, I never noticed any inferiority complex and we certainly didn’t see them as inferior or indeed superior either.

Maybe its something you felt yourself though when living in a wealthy area. Do you think that wherever we live if we are not/do not feel on the same level financially as our neighbours. that we feel somewhat inferior? Could that be the reason?
For instance I can’t imagine living in Kensington and driving around in my beat up old car, wearing my jeans and parka whilst being surrounded by wealthy people in designer clothes and new cars. I imagine I would feel very inferior in comparison.

My dh has a very strong Belfast accent, he had a lot of trouble making himself understood at times in shops. Mine is less strong but trying to buy two flakes was a challenge. Or saying eight.
I only heard about the low self esteem after we moved away from England, but I found it interesting. I wonder if there is any research on it, strange to hear it from two separate sources?

I still think you're still putting too much on what two individual people believe to be true. I wonder what they'd say about people from Scotland, Wales, other countries?

Though I would genuinely pay money to watch the OP ask her friend if she's secretly awed by her Englishness

I didn't ask for a full break down! I'm not Scottish or Welsh, but that's an interesting point.

sorry! I still think some people from northern Ireland feel a little inferior to anyone English. I don't notice this with people around me in the south
Really i wouldn't have thought it was inferiority IME talking from the Catholic side people from NI feel anger or cocky around English people.
The protestant side might feel England has superiority as the motherland.
When I lived in NI I was looking for a card the guy directed me to carrots.
It takes a couple of hours after visiting to catch up on the accent.
Mine is peculiar and very fast to them too.

Though I would genuinely pay money to watch the OP ask her friend if she's secretly awed by her Englishness

Me too 🤣🤣🤣

I think you are giving a lot of weight to two people’s opinions tbh.
Regarding being understood in shops, perhaps people in the UK and ROI ask your DH to repeat himself because they like hearing his accent. Even if their ears aren’t tuned into his accent, I don’t think anybody who asks him to repeat himself thinks he is inferior or they themselves are superior? It’s an interesting one.

Patronising.

Similar to the "bubbly" debate - many will insist it just refers to an outgoing chatty personality but others will say it means overweight.

Dh, on the phone to a Canadian, complained about the heavy showers we were having. After a couple of attempts at showers, he tried rain. That didn't work either, he gave up.
I'm not sure if bubbly has to be weight related...I will observe that in work tomorrow!

In NI it's definitely a compliment

@veeeeh

Used in Ireland a lot, and signifies high respect to the person. True to themselves, helping to others, no notions of grandeur, just a great person all round.

Lovely compliment IMO.

Hmm. I'm Irish, and I'm with the slightly patronising school of thought on this

Yes. It's not said about somebody who went to private school and then trinity is it.

Is there a reverse equivalent, bit of a posh but still ok.

I remember when I was first in the UK (England) going into the post office and asking for stamps.

I had to keep repeating myself - and was thinking, ‘FFS - I’m in a post office, what else could I be asking for, other than stamps?!’ 😂

And DH (standard issue southern England accent) on an American Airlines flight asking for water. What? Water? What...?

The (American) guy next to him had to translate to the air hostess - ‘I think he’d like some war-dah’.

People not understanding accents means nothing more or less than the sounds not being familiar to them.

I'd say class in NI has fewer levels, there are fewer aristocratic families than in England. There are not many private schools. Property took a 40% tumble in the last recession so house prices didn't get too out of control either, though wages are lower too.

What school did you go to? That can be a loaded question in Northern Ireland.
Private schools in Dublin are very complicated, and beyond my understanding. My inlaws were horrified that my kids went to a community school, didn't do an eleven plus thing and didn't wear blazers.

Private schools in Dublin are very complicated, and beyond my understanding

There are a number of reasons. In some areas of South Dublin there is no option but to go to a private school due to the lack of school spaces. Some private schools in Dublin have a very poor academic record. I’m sure this is the same in the UK.
However private schools in the UK cost the same per term as the annual fees of private school in ROI.
Going to a private school in Dublin doesn’t mean elitism save for a few such as St Columbas etc