Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I hate my cat

32 replies

CatProblemz · 15/12/2020 14:24

And I feel bad for it.

I've always considered myself an animal person. I've had many pets over the years, dogs, cats, rabbits, horses, some exotic ones too, lizards etc...

But my God the cat I have now is so testing. I feel awful for saying it but she drives me insane and I just hate having her.

She destroys everything. She smashes things in my house constantly. Knocking things off, smashing mirrors, glasses, plates, candles etc... And she makes so much noise. Really loud constant meowing.

She also randomly wees in places she shouldn't despite being litter trained. She will do this without warning after not having done it for months. I'll just find a random cushion which reeks and I've no idea why she does it.

We have another cat at the moment who is a breeze.

I don't know what to do. I just wish I'd never got her. I do cuddle her and give attention, I try not to let my interactions with her be negative because I really hate the thought of cruel but she is driving me mad.

I've never ever considered rehoming an animal before, I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Nottherealslimshady · 15/12/2020 14:27

She doesn't sound very happy. Does she go out at all? Does she have anything to do? Climbing structures, toys, hammocks?

mylittleyumyum · 15/12/2020 14:27

Is she a kitten? Dressed? An older rehomed cat? Stressed? You may get more help posting this on the Litter Tray.

stayathomer · 15/12/2020 14:30

If you can study this as if it was something to address you might be able to figure something out. So sit down and look at how you can work on each issue. But, honestly if you dont want to d ok this maybe you should rehome and no judgement if you do, you're just not a match

Original poster
CatProblemz · 15/12/2020 14:30

@Nottherealslimshady

She doesn't sound very happy. Does she go out at all? Does she have anything to do? Climbing structures, toys, hammocks?
She doesn't go out. But that is not because I've not let her. All my cats have always gone out and been happy to do so but she hates doing outside and will just run straight back in and gets distressed quickly if she can't come back in immediately. She always has the option to go out but never does.

She does have toys/climbing frame. The kids also often play with her.

She isn't a kitten or a rescue. We got her as a kitten 2 years ago.

I have taken her to the vets before over this to make sure she isn't in pain (due to the meowing constantly) but they just laugh it off and suggest she is just vocal etc... they don't seem concerned.

Honestly it sounds ridiculous but out of every animal I have ever owned, she is the most difficult by far.

OP posts:
Original poster
CatProblemz · 15/12/2020 14:33

I feel even worse because she is very attached to me. She wants to be near me all the time, which is fine and even nice but it's just everything else.

She is very skittish with people, she still doesn't let my husband pick her up and only occasionally the children. I'm the only one she really let's hold her. Which makes me feel even worse for finding her so hard!

OP posts:
ToughLoveLDN · 15/12/2020 14:33

I would ask for urine analysis and blood test. My cat became the same as this and vet kept putting it off. Finally took urine and found his liver enzymes were raised. A year later he had died of cancer.

minipie · 15/12/2020 14:35

Can she see ok? Or maybe has a mobility issue? IME it’s unusual for young cats to knock things over.

Original poster
CatProblemz · 15/12/2020 14:39

@ToughLoveLDN

I would ask for urine analysis and blood test. My cat became the same as this and vet kept putting it off. Finally took urine and found his liver enzymes were raised. A year later he had died of cancer.
Thanks, I'll try this.

That's a horrible thought Sad I think as much as I say I don't like her, I don't mean it. I just find her very stressful, I feel like I'm constantly clearing up broken things, mess etc.. and it gets tiring. She just smashed a big mirror in my bedroom this afternoon and I am so fed up. It's like walking round the house clearing up after a mini toddler all day!

But then we have a cuddle and I do love her. I don't want anything to be wrong with her of course.

OP posts:
Original poster
CatProblemz · 15/12/2020 14:40

@minipie

Can she see ok? Or maybe has a mobility issue? IME it’s unusual for young cats to knock things over.
This is what DH said. It's almost like she's clumsy? Which I've never seen in cats, young ones at least. But I've taken her to the vet and they just don't seem concerned about any of it.
OP posts:
chubbyhotchoc · 15/12/2020 14:47

I agree that there may be something else going on here and you need to push it with the vet. It's strange that she won't go out. Most cats love a good wander around the neighbourhood terrorising the local dogs.

Original poster
CatProblemz · 15/12/2020 14:51

@chubbyhotchoc

I agree that there may be something else going on here and you need to push it with the vet. It's strange that she won't go out. Most cats love a good wander around the neighbourhood terrorising the local dogs.
I don't really find this part that strange knowing her personality. She is a very skittish cat. Almost like a rescue although she isn't if that makes sense? She is very scared of people/new things. She has been outside (and could if she wanted through the catflap) but she doesn't seem to like it at all and obviously feels safer inside the house.
OP posts:
ToughLoveLDN · 15/12/2020 14:52

If you live in London I would really recommend Animal Ark vets. It does sound like there’s more too it than her just being a knob

LastChristmas20 · 15/12/2020 14:54

I hope you get to the bottom of it.

I can feel how torn you are. I'm sure your cat has quite similar feelings.

If she comes back all clear from the vets and still no improvement then please don't feel awful considering rehoming her - but of course make sure it's done honestly.

It may be that she would really suit being the only cat for an only human. Either the other cat or the children maybe stress her.

They're tricky creatures.

I hope it's sorted soon and you both can find some more peace.

vanillandhoney · 15/12/2020 15:10

She sounds very stressed and very unhappy, poor thing. Not all cats like living with other cats or children - maybe she would be happier as an only cat in a quieter, adult only household?

Peeing inside is often a result of stress - does she have plenty of space to escape your other cat and the children? I would advise everyone to leave her alone tbh - stop picking her up and approaching her, let her come to you if she wants attention.

What about litter trays? If you have two cats, you need at least three litter trays. You could try changing the litter and style of tray as well if you've not already done so.

yelyah22 · 15/12/2020 15:41

I'd get some more tests done and ask for a referral to a behaviourist, most pet insurance covers it!

She sounds anxious to me, but that's because I have an anxious cat who's the same.

Recruit2020 · 15/12/2020 15:46

Rehoming isnt all bad. As some say she sounds stressed and unhappy herself. I rescued my cat and she had a list of no's. Only pet. No small children. Shes a dream. I wouldnt say perfect all cats have knobhead tendancies but generally we are a good fit. I would press at the vets as she peed and was all skittish once and she had a UTI x

IJustWantSomeBees · 15/12/2020 15:58

Does she get along with your other cat? Which cat came first?

IJustWantSomeBees · 15/12/2020 16:00

Also, CBD oil and things like Feliway are known to calm skittish cats down/improve temperament. May be worth looking into

IntermittentParps · 15/12/2020 16:01

If this were a person I'd be thinking of behavioural conditions (sorry, don't know a better term, but ADHD etc), or dyspraxia or something.

YesMeLady · 15/12/2020 16:03

Is her hearing and sight ok. Like pp said its unusual for cats to be clumsy. I would push the vet for a neurological examination.

CabinClose · 15/12/2020 16:07

Have you tried feliway? How is she with the other cat?

RightYesButNo · 15/12/2020 16:14

The skittishness, knocking things over, especially large objects, running into things, fearing the outside - yeah, your vet is a wanker for not doing investigations. This REALLY sounds like a cat my friend had who was partially blind. Unfortunately, she had the weeing issue, too; it happened during times of high anxiety for DCat and, of course, if you can’t see very well and you can’t tell anyone you can’t see very well and then there’s something that makes you anxious, even if it’s just something like visitors for tea or smelling something new outside the house no one could smell, the weeing is going to happen. I think my friend eventually got the sight problems diagnosed by a caring vet and started using Feliway for the extra anxiety DCat experienced but I can’t remember how they solved the “clumsiness,” sorry. I think she bolted mirrors and things down?

Of course, it’s possible this isn’t what’s wrong with your cat at all, but it definitely doesn’t sound in the realm of normal for a young cat and I can’t believe your vet is being so cavalier about it.

JustAnotherUserinParadise · 15/12/2020 16:55

Hmm... some cats are just dicks - one of ours is, and I've seen her purposely knock things off shelves etc, but she'd definitely doing it on purpose!
Sound like there may be more going on with yours... can you try introducing her to the outside again? And more health checks definitely

Allergictoironing · 15/12/2020 17:21

You may want to ask MN to move this to The Litter Tray, where there's an awful lot of very knowledgeable cat people including a number of vets?

SabrinaThwaite · 15/12/2020 17:47

Is she a particular breed or is she a moggy? Does she have blue eyes? I wonder if there’s some Oriental in there, given how she’s a one person cat and very vocal.

Swipe left for the next trending thread