Nursery teacher swore at children?

[babom]

Maybe more WWYD than AIBU...

DS started nursery in September and has loved going in, teachers seem lovely.

We was playing "school" last night and he got to be the teacher. We gathered all the teddies to be other students.
He was mimicking all the things that I can imagine his teacher does in class and it was brilliant until little teacher then says in a sentence "...fxcking dxckhead childrens..."

I asked what did you say? And asked once more just incase I really did mishear him. I asked where did he hear that from? (Neither me or his dad say f'ing d'head, he doesn't watch YouTube, no other people are around him such as other family we don't live close to them).
He says Mrs XXXXXXX said it, his school teacher. I said really? when did she say that?
He just said yeah and repeated the phrase again.

I'm pretty sure I can tell when DS is lying as he will laugh straight away and then says the truth and it didn't seem so as he had no reaction after saying it was his teacher.
I'm not sure how to address it with teacher without accusing her? Would she be offended? Is it even something I should address? I feel like so but don't know if I'm overreacting... first time mum
We've had the discussion about not using it again and he nodded. Should it end here really?

My Latin teacher once called me a "silly arse", but I was 15 at the time, so I'd heard (and used) far worse.

I can't imagine a nursery teacher using language like that, tbh.

To the people saying a nursery teacher wouldn't say this.... bollocks to that. They wouldn't have wanted the kids to hear though 🙈🙈

It's unlikely to be the teachers but as a manager I'd want to be aware of what the child was saying so I could investigate the possibility. Just say to the manager what you've said here and then they can keep an eye on things. Safeguarding is always the primary concern for those caring for young children and we are taught to listen to what children are saying, yes they may not have it exactly right but it's important to find out where things are coming from.

I think she said it. Maybe under her breath. The imitation of him playing it out and then saying she said it. Plus how else would he know those words. If another child said it he would have said it was another child. He doesnt understand its wrong so why would he lie.
Bottom line is she will deny it. U cant prove it. But I would raise it and her knowing u know might be enough for her to have a rethink

''5. A primary school teacher constantly calling her reception aged kids 'Dense' and shouting at them when they got something wrong. Same teacher is now Deputy head. ''

The word 'shouting' has lost all meaning, shouting means you are shouting at top of voice. These days if you say something to kids and even adults in a normal voice that is reprimanding them then they say it's shouting.

@Halo1234

I think she said it. Maybe under her breath. The imitation of him playing it out and then saying she said it. Plus how else would he know those words. If another child said it he would have said it was another child. He doesnt understand its wrong so why would he lie. Bottom line is she will deny it. U cant prove it. But I would raise it and her knowing u know might be enough for her to have a rethink

Fuck me. You mean nursery age children always tell the exact truth, and my DD really did have a friend who was a giant and lived under the oil tank in our garden? Just texting her now to apologise for not believing...

Honestly, get a grip.

And, OP, if you believe everything your DS tells you a teacher said, the next 15 years are going to feel really, really long.

OP, you’ve done exactly the right thing in raising the issue directly with the teacher. No-one on this thread was there so we can’t possibly know what actually happened, though I’m inclined to think it’s a phrase heard from another child, but alerting teacher to the issue is the way to go regardless. That means should anything else happen you can then pursue it easily with this conversation as a foundation. Well done.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow thats imaginative play not lying either. My son road a dragon through the night and it lived in the garage when he was three. Imaginative play not lying.
They can lie or miss understand. Or tell there version of the truth thats not the actual truth. But imo they way he played out other obvious teacher imitation first and know the swear words but didn't know it was wrong. I just feel he is acting out what he saw/herd. He has no reason to invent it. Lying to say "I didnt draw all over the door" or whatever is a natural thing to lie about and try and cover up but in this situation I think he is acting out what happend.

Sorry I completely disagree. It is hurtful as a teacher if a false allegation is made - I have had to investigate a few in my school - but all of your safeguarding training should have taught you- believe the child. Even when it seems unbelievable. Because you don't want to miss the time when the child is telling the truth about an adult mistreating them, whether it's swearing or something more serious. If it turns out to be nothing then there is no harm as long as you didn't go in all guns blazing and handled it sensitively. Finally a voice of reason! I'm not a teacher (just a lowly care home worker) but as this poster stated, the vulnerable person should be believed. We have residents with all stages of dementia. We still take all allegations seriously and investigate.

If the nursery teacher in question is a decent person who is good at their job with nothing to hide, they would welcome the investigation. Personally I'd rather be falsely accused and there be a thorough investigation than a child who has experienced any kind of abuse be disbelieved.

No Fitzwilliam.
It was definitely shouting. Also not ok to regularly call children dense is it?

If the nursery teacher in question is a decent person who is good at their job with nothing to hide, they would welcome the investigation. Personally I'd rather be falsely accused and there be a thorough investigation than a child who has experienced any kind of abuse be disbelieved.

Absolutely

That's a very specific thing for a small child to repeat. I'd honestly be looking to move him.

The nursery manager will certainly want to know, as small children using inappropriate and/or sexual language is one of the safeguarding red flags.

I would raise it but in a nonconfrontational way IYSWIM, which the tone of your post suggests you would do anyway. Just say something like:

'Ms X, I was wondering if you could monitor Ys language when playing for us, when he came home the other day he was role playing schools and he said...obviously, he hasn't heard this language here or at home, but we are trying to stamp it out. Do you have any strategies? Thank you so much for your help'

Although, I will admit that my son, aged 3 at the time , said: 'I can't find the bloody keys to the Nissan!' during role play in a perfect imitation of his father, so we probably wouldn't have a leg to stand on on this issue

PS said child is now 6yo and has never sworn since, so don't panic too much.

DC pick up all sorts of words at Nursery.
I blame Peppa for the fat shaming with DC, My niece always comments on Mammys big tummy.
The other language is awful but more than likely coming from another DC.
All you can do is correct their language teach them some words hurtful and some are bad language.

Wow! I worked in childcare for years and never heard any staff swear but we did very occasionally have children swear.