Aibu it's a MIL thing. She turns up all the time. Not even Lockdown can stop her.

[dingledongmerrilymysky]

My MIL tends to invite herself over, this is a general thing she has always done since I had my first Dc. I think she makes up her mind to come and even if I say I'm not home she takes no notice and comes anyway. I think she doesn't believe me that I'm busy. Example being she calls my mobile saying she's phoned the house and no answer. I say I'm in IKEA so don't come over I'm busy. I get home hours later and she's having a hot chocolate in my kitchen anyway . Yes she has a key, but I've found her sitting in my garden or out on my wall when she's forgotten her key and come anyway, when I've said I'm going out or am out somewhere else. I don't agree to head back for her and I tell her not to come if I'm busy.
I'm a SAHM so I'm generally home but she won't come unless it's on her terms. I don't even mind her letting herself in to be honest IF I'd agreed to be there and I was late. She's not the nosey type and sadly she doesn't clean my house either. The issue is the lack of listening to when it's not convenient. Like I'm having someone else over ( pre- Covid)

Now she keeps telling me she is coming for the weekend as we are in a support bubble. I just don't want her here all the time, and not for a whole weekend. She doesn't listen and I clearly say no and she just comes anyway. I actually said no not this weekend. She of course never asks DH, she never actually asks me to be fair, she tells me she's coming. So she came for a weekend before and now how can I stop her coming again? I said it was a one off. My DH says to stop stressing she won't come, and he agrees that we don't want her here all the time or she'll bloody be moving in next. She will 100% just turn up again. It's very awkward, I appreciate she's lonely and it's fine sometimes, but not all the time and not uninvited. So unless I kick out Grandma infront of the kids what can I do? I'm feeling very manipulated. I don't see how I can deal with her. I would think she's unwell mentally, but she's very much a selfish person and if you asked her to even come round for her grandchild's birthday and it didn't suit her she wouldn't come.

I might need to get the locks changed as step 1 .. maybe move and not tell her where? This situation is ridiculous. I get on dne with her, I don't hate her, but I don't want her over every damn weekend.

You're an actual Saint. I've had issues with the in laws just doorstopping me but nothing like this. It sounds like she won't respond to subtlety so maybe you have to be more transparent... Can you and DH sit her down and say she is loved, and always welcome in your home, but that it has to be on mutually agreeable terms? I think my inlaws behaviour stems from the fear of being 'left out of the loop', could that be it here too? Could you keep her at arms length by, conversely, engaging her more on the telephone and giving her updates on the DC? Possibly seems a bit contradictory to suggest this am just speculating. Really feel for you x

let yourself into her house and retrieve the spare key, deny that you did so & refuse to give her a key or let her have yours (she'll make a copy if you do)

Your DH has to step up and impose some boundaries. It’s unfair leaving it to you.

Two of my DDs are young adults with their own homes and I would never let myself in or turn up unannounced, always a txt or call as they are both very busy as am I.
Why on earth did you ever give her a key? does she do any childcare?
This is for your DH to sort, it’s his mother.

Could you try a very direct conversation?

Why do you come round when I've said it's not convenient?

Sort of thing but maybe a tad more tactful.

The next time she tells you she’s coming round, ask her what makes her think it is convenient for you? At the moment she not seeing you as a person with your own life, she sees you as someone to entertain her.

Tell your DH that unless he sorts out her dropping round whenever she wants, by tomorrow, you will change the locks tomorrow.
Then follow through on it.
Woman up.