Should you be the one to comfort baby daughter when she hurts herself ?

[opionionsplease]

Weird question. Totally irrelevant in the grand scheme of life, I'm just curious what other mummy's think.

My baby girl (11 months) fell off her little car thing today. It looked pretty bad and I was horrified and rushed to pick her up. My mother in law runs over and tries to pry my baby form my arms. I literally had to struggle to hold onto her and then walk away with her. That's not the first time something like this has happened. Is it normal that I think I should be the one to pick my baby up if I'm right there especially when she hurts herself ?

Your MIL shouldn’t ever be trying to pry her from your arms regardless of the circumstances.

Whomever is closest. I don't get why she would try and 'pry' your baby from your arms - odd.

It's not the first time. I was closest and already had her in my arms. It was a struggle to keep her. Ah well, it's not the first time. Whenever she cries my mother in law tries to take her from me. Annoying.

NOBODY should be trying to physically wrestle your baby from you, that's bonkers! You or DH needs to say to her (later, obvs) that it was utterly inappropriate to try to drag your crying child away from her mother. It is NOT ok.

If MIL had got to her first it’s fine for her to pick her up but would expect her to hand her over once she’d had the initial cuddle. She should not be prying her out of your hands!

Do you live together?

Maybe she was trying to help.
I would just tell her

Would you rather we answer this thread or your other one about the same thing?

Embarass her. Put her on the spot. Call out loudly 'what are you doing, stop pulling my baby'.
She should never ever do that. How upsetting for you and your baby.

@Takemetothebar hahah I wasn't sure if it was exactly the same ! Sorry! Whatever you feel you want to answer.

I'd hit the roof, this is totally not normal!

Fuck that. Your MIL is a complete cow. (And I’m not a MIL basher type). My MIL never did this - in fact she’d hand back (nicely) if baby got upset. You need her to understand very clear boundaries. You DH needs to have a word.

YANBU.

She’s totally out of order

Woah!! I would have to say something. I'm sure she's doing it with good intentions but that is insane to me. If my mil did that with my son I would say something or at least get DP to say something

@FearlessGreatExpanse I really don't like it. I want to have that special bond with my girl and I want people to respect it.

Whoever is nearest. I do sometimes take my 11mth GD off my daughter when is she's crying - but I wouldn't wrestle her off her mum! It's more of a joint effort to comfort the child.

@cate16 yes definitely. I was nearest and already doing it so it was just weird. I'm sure it wasn't meant in a bad way but it felt like she was saying she can comfort her better. I'm sure it wasn't meant that way. I just want to feel like a good and valued / capable mum.

The person that is closest should logically comfort the child. But I often take DD from other people if she's hurt because naturally she wants me.

But although I think it's weird that your mil tries to take her from you, I woulndt say anything. Somtimes it's better to just let things go, save the fall out and argument.

@cate16

Whoever is nearest. I do sometimes take my 11mth GD off my daughter when is she's crying - but I wouldn't wrestle her off her mum! It's more of a joint effort to comfort the child.

I expect your daughter wants you to/has asked? You don’t just assume it’s ok and take her?

She was probably just trying to help and wanting to be close to her DGD. Obviously if you feel strongly about it then you need to address it with her, and the wrenching from your arms is odd. However, as a slightly separate issue, as your DD gets older its probably good if she can allow herself to be comforted by other trusted adults as well as you, it will help with transition to nursery/ school and it doesn't impact on your bond with her.

@BounceyBumblebee
Disagree. She probably needs a sign to cut the crap/back off a bit, otherwise it’ll run and run.

If it was my nephew and he'd hurt himself and I was closest, I'd pick him up and take him/pass him over to his mum.

Odd behaviour.

My mil used to do this. Even when dc needed feeding she tried to fob them off shushing them and juggling them up and down..

“She was probably just trying to help”
Probably. But sometimes help isn’t appropriate. EG trying to take a child away when a mother has literally just picked up her child. As she doesn’t seem to realize that herself, someone probably needs to have a word.