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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Going on maternity leave knowing you won't go back

50 replies

LikeAGlove · 14/12/2020 16:49

Has anyone else done this? I feel really bad about it.

I'm about to go on maternity leave in January. I am taking the full year however, I already know that I won't be returning.

My husband owns a business and we plan for me to work very part time there instead once SMP ends.

OP posts:
SillyUnMurphy · 14/12/2020 16:51

Are you getting enhanced maternity pay from your company? If so, you may be liable to pay it back

NerrSnerr · 14/12/2020 16:52

I did this for one job but I work for the NHS so didn't have to pay back the maternity pay as I went from one NHS job to another.

Original poster
LikeAGlove · 14/12/2020 16:53

@SillyUnMurphy

Are you getting enhanced maternity pay from your company? If so, you may be liable to pay it back
No, just the standard.

Unfortunately they just can't offer me the flexibility that working in DHs business can. Its the best option for us and our LO. But don't want to do it before SMP ends.

OP posts:
raeya · 14/12/2020 16:54

I did. only got smp so didn't see it really mattered. I did ask for reduced hours during mat leave as a back up to my new job plan but it was refused and got new PT job.
Old job was a very long commute, 60 plus hours a week on a good week, I knew I wouldn't want to do that with a child unless I really really had to

missbipolar · 14/12/2020 16:58

If you already know you won't be returning why not just resign instead of going on mat leave? They'll still have to pay SMP but means that they can recruit a perm replacement rather then a temp

MadameBlobby · 14/12/2020 17:00

@missbipolar

If you already know you won't be returning why not just resign instead of going on mat leave? They'll still have to pay SMP but means that they can recruit a perm replacement rather then a temp
She won’t accrue holidays if she does that.

OP don’t feel guilty. You’ll hardly be the first person to do this or the last. You can bet your bottom dollar if they had to make you redundant for example they wouldn’t feel guilty in the slightest. They do what suits them best and so must you. I’ve learned that the hard way.

BarbaraofSeville · 14/12/2020 17:02

They'll still have to pay SMP but means that they can recruit a perm replacement rather then a temp

^^ This. Depending on what you do, it can be a real pain for people at your work providing maternity cover. Where I work, the work is just shared out to everyone else at the workplace, it's not practical to try and recruit and retrain a replacement for a few months, but if they knew you weren't coming back they could get on with recruiting and properly training a permanent replacement.

Royalbloo · 14/12/2020 17:02

Take it - you never know what will happen in a year, the situation you may be in then, or how you will feel.

AJ1425 · 14/12/2020 17:02

I did this, well, I knew it was very unlikely I would be returning but I wanted to accrue as much holiday pay as possible. I also took the job whilst pregnant. I felt no guilt, I'd worked for this company before and they treat their employees as disposable so I was quite comfortable doing the same.

FestiveChristmasLights · 14/12/2020 17:02

I wouldn’t feel guilty. Enjoy your time off and your additional holiday you’ve accrued at the end. In this economic climate it makes perfect sense to keep your job option open in case someone goes wrong with your husband’s business.

Royalbloo · 14/12/2020 17:02

And it's another year on your CV where you will have been employed

MadameBlobby · 14/12/2020 17:06

@BarbaraofSeville

They'll still have to pay SMP but means that they can recruit a perm replacement rather then a temp

^^ This. Depending on what you do, it can be a real pain for people at your work providing maternity cover. Where I work, the work is just shared out to everyone else at the workplace, it's not practical to try and recruit and retrain a replacement for a few months, but if they knew you weren't coming back they could get on with recruiting and properly training a permanent replacement.

This is not the OP’s problem.
Cattybumbum · 14/12/2020 17:11

I did, I opted not to take the enhanced pay and resigned when my SMP stopped, I did inform my boss I wasn't returning so he could employ a replacement on a temp to perm basis.

AluminumMonster · 14/12/2020 17:16

I would keep your options open in this climate. If you get enhanced maternity pay, could you put it to the side so if you did resign it would be easy to pay back.

Is there any chance you might get made redundant in which case you might get a redundancy package if still employed.

EmbarrassingMama · 14/12/2020 17:17

Why on earth do you feel bad? They sound like a shitty employer who doesn't value you enough to even pay you an enhanced mat pay.

Enjoy your mat leave.

Phrowzunn · 14/12/2020 17:37

Yes I did - it was only SMP which I think the employer claims back from the government anyway? I tried to be up front about the fact that I wasn’t sure whether I’d be back so they could recruit someone with a view to probably making them permanent. I actually wasn’t given my accrued holiday pay at the end but didn’t chase it up cause I felt it was bit cheeky...

dottiedodah · 14/12/2020 17:38

I think it may be more prudent to leave the door open so to speak .Working with a partner isnt for everyone .Also in the post covid climate who knows what will happen to the economy, and you may need your income as a back up (hopefully not but your bases are covered then)

DontCryForMeNextdoorNeighbour · 14/12/2020 17:40

If they're not paying you anything over SMP, you needn't feel bad.

GintyMcGinty · 14/12/2020 17:45

Don't feel guilty you are entitled to do this. Don't resign as you will lose your holiday accruals.

And it keeps your options open in case you change your mind.

DougRossIsTheBoss · 14/12/2020 17:50

Don't feel guilty and don't tell them until required. This is a business not a friendship.

Plans can change. In businesses, in relationships and with babies. Better to keep the door open and not burn any bridges now.

Noranorav · 14/12/2020 17:52

It's fine. You don't know what will happen with your husband's company, lots can change in a year. On the other hand, the company will also be fine, lots of people are recruited into temporary maternity cover roles that lead to a perm position, or other role. Equally your role could be made redundant. Basically don't second guess yours or the company situation for 12 months time, or over think this - I think the modern expression might be ^you do you hun^ 🤣

Eleganz · 14/12/2020 17:54

Of they are only paying SMP then I wouldn't bother feeling guilty. Don't resign as you need to keep your options open at this time.

Eloradannin · 14/12/2020 17:56

I did it with my 1st child. I intended to do it with my 2nd, but my DH got made redundant just as I was about to hand my notice in, so I went back when my Mat leave ended.

SillyUnMurphy · 14/12/2020 17:59

I agree; don’t feel guilty and don’t inform your employer of your intention to leave until you are due pack from mat leave. You may be in a different place in a year and need to return to the job.

LilacSloth · 14/12/2020 18:05

Keep your options open. I didn't think I would go back but I ended up going back part-time and it's worked really well. You don't know how you'll feel in a year's time so don't feel guilty about giving yourself the opportunity to return.